In need of urgent advice...

[B Side]

I've been in an almost picture perfect relationship with the girl of my dreams for nearly two years now. We've always gotten along very well and have been very supportive of each other in every aspect of our lives. She recently moved here for college because the particular school had what she was looking for, plus it worked out to keep us together. We've always been able to work through everything and have always talked long-term and promised great things to each other for our future together.

We've never had any major problems in our relationship and there was never anything we couldn't open up to each other about, but no more than a week ago, she told me she needed some space and some time to be on her own, just to experience college and be independent. I freaked out for a couple days and begged and clinged on but I told her that I realize now that I should give her the space she requested and we've been talking everyday since.

Neither of us can stay away from each other too long and she's told me the past three days how much she misses me, but here's my question.

In my desperation a couple days ago, I wrote her a very heartfelt letter expressing how I wanted to keep my promise and commit to her like I always promised I would. We agreed to wait over the weekend to let her read it, but should I let her read this or should I just back off and keep trying to give her alone time and hope that she'll come back soon? I guess what I'm asking is (and preferably from a woman's perspective) would my letter remind her of how much I care and make her want to come back, or would it seem like another sign that I'm just clinging and not giving her what she asked for?

[Cain]

Space doesn't mean keep talking every day and tell each other how much you miss one another. In my opinion, the only time someone says they need space to experience college and be independent is when they want to act single without a guilty conscience. My advice is to forget the letter and give her that space. If she calls you, answer, be civil, but end the conversation and say you have things to do. Let her know what it is like without you in her life.

Another thing you need to be wary of is perfection. Nothing is perfect. Nothing lasts forever.

[ecojeanne]

i don't think writing a letter to her will help. i think you need to let her spread her wings and you may find it's time for you to spread your wings too. life is going to be full of dissapointments like this. it doesn't mean you won't end up together in the end. but i do think you should let her have her space.