How to deal with the third wheel?

[Everlovin]

Long story as short as I can:

I was a cop in a middle of nowhere, podunk town. I met a girl there who was a volunteer where I worked. She was the fuk buddy of my roomate/friend/fellow officer. He used her, jerked her around and called her a "psycho" because she wanted to actually have a relationship with him.

Her and I always got along. She did try to use me a bit, ie texting me and asking where my roomate was (often when she couldn't get a hold of him because he was hooking up with some other chick).

So we kissed, cuddled and went jogging together, while he was at work once...but she still had strong feelings for him so I took a step back and started a relationship with the paramedic (who became my girlfriend).

Well, I am single now and so is she. My old roomate totally broke it off with her, he moved to another county to work for a another department.

She visited me on Thanksgiving, she wanted too so she drove an hour and a half to come here, she brought her friend (girl) with her. It was cool, I looked like a pimp. lol j/k

Anyways, she 's driving down here again to come and see a movie on thursday. Only little kicker is...she is bringing her friend (girl) with her because she "doesn't drive alone"

It should be noted, she was viciously attacked by a rapist six months ago and she really does not drive out of her hometown alone. I caught the guy who did it to her.

See, I am going to hold her hand, hug her, etc. thats not the issue. Her friend is going to be there and I have manners so I feel a bit hesitant about doing that stuff when her friend is around.

Only thing is, I am not just a friend and I certainly won't let things stay that way.

What are your thoughts on this?

Would it be rude if I did a few things with her?

Or..maybe just be patient, make her laugh, have a good time, continue to pursue her and save the physical stuff for our next date when I drive up to see her?

Thanks, by the way, she is sweet, kind, pretty girl and I could really see myself falling for her.

Please respond I want to know your views on this!

[carl1222]

She was raped only a few months ago, so naturally she is going to be hesitant about trusting a guy for a while. You're a cop so you have some idea what she went through.

Show her your interest in the most non-threatening way. Probably lay off any interest in a physical relationship while letting her know unmistakably that you are interested in her for reasons other than friendship.

Use her friend as a way to suppress your desires to move forward physically. What she really needs is a man who can establish her sense of trust. You have to be patient with her after what she's been through!

Carl.

[Everlovin]

Thanks Carl, thats what I'll try.

I should clarify, she was not raped, she was attacked by a rapist who attempted to rape. Pretty messed up.

[Wrigley]

Keep in mind that it is important to impress a girl's friend. That friend can be your worst enemy if you get on her bad side. That said, it's important to keep her friend included if this girl wants her there. I'd say subtle gestures that let the girl know you're still interested would be important. Once this girl is more comfortable and wants the same things you want, she may want to be with you alone.

Another good approach could be to befriend the friend. Get to know her and then set her up with someone to occupy her while you're with your girl.

Someone tried to rape her, so I'd lay off the physical stuff, depending on her state of mind, of course. You're a member, though, so you're trained to pick up on cues that most people wouldn't. You'll know when she wants to do something.

[Cbrider]

How in the world did you contain yourself from not beating the living piss out of the guy who tried to rape her?

I couldn't be a police officer, if I was in that position I would probably beat the guys head in.

[Gigabitch]

Or..maybe just be patient, make her laugh, have a good time, continue to pursue her and save the physical stuff for our next date when I drive up to see her?

I don't see you pursuing her, I see her pursuing you. Get your ass in the car, drive up there and take her to dinner. Jeeze Louise!

[misombra]

she wants to **** the police.

[Gigabitch]

She's the anti-Misombra

[1averagejoe]

She's the anti-Misombra

Well technically they both want to **** the police...just in different ways.