Boobas thread.

[boobaa]

Everyone has one, so i make one too.

This is my update thread.


Ok, here we go, I opened my first beer also. I don't quite know where to begin or how to write this, but I'll see how it goes.

I have been feeling down like 8 years so far. Ever since my father died, the only person who knew me. I also can't get it why I take things so seriously. Basically, I remember everything that has ever happened to me.

Current update:

School.
I haven't been able to focuse on school properly because my thoughts are away. Now all the work is piled up and I don't know where to start. Hopefully I'll manage. I just have to pull myself together. 30 days to go...

Social life.
Nada. I talk to people at school, thats about it. Everyone who I ever knew or know is either buzy with life or away. I am 20 years old, thats the age when everyone has their own circle of friends already, and everyone is heading into their own lives.

Work.
What about it? Work is work. I am just making pocket money to buy some booze and maybe save something. No career.
Oh, I got offered a better job as a salesman in a design tapestries shop that all the designers and artists visit. But I rejected, because I have exams coming. maybe I made the wrong decision, I don't know, at that moment it seemed the right thing.
When I was in High School, I got offered a job in a foreign country, the exact kind of job I am comfortable with, I rejected. Now I think back to it it would have been a career..


Relations.

Ah the main thing. The reason I've been feeling down lately. Remember the girl I went to date with? Well, we share classes, I see her at school. Yet we are strangers, ignore each other, like we don't exist. I know she doesn't like me anymore... But I don't know how to get over. Its been 1 year crush already. And when I made the move, always sudden things happen that **** everything up. Now everything I think of is what I should have done. Anyway, I can't get over her, but I can't do anything to get to her either... Today I prayed that I would get at least one only kiss or hug from her, when I woke up this morning. Other girls don't interest me, they seem like empty places.
I know I shouldn't be so serious, its just one typical crush. But I can't, this is who I am. If I knew the way to change this, I would. Its eating me.

I wish I didn't call her, now I feel like shit.

Today, coming home from school, remembering one failure after another I wished I'd get into serious accident. This is almost every day. Sometimes I go to dark alleys where some gangs are drinking, hoping I'd get robbed or stabbed, at least to have spome fight, some fear, some thrill. I can't do anything by myself. Useless peice of shit. In africa, children are starving and I am complaining over this. I should die, but I am unable to.

[ecojeanne]

are you bullshitting us again boobaa?

c'mon you're young, taking a job is the best thing you can do to expand your circle of friends, go out there and get a job. it's hard when you leave highschool and everyone goes to different places and friends get spread out. you'll find eventually when you don't try so hard friends will come to you. not kidding. i went thru that phase when i left school too, most of my friends went abroad or went to college, i continued to work and slowly but surely when i reached 21 i made a load of friends. it happens. if you're feeling down then go and join a club or society in college, do some sports; it will lighten your mood.

cheer up.

[bluesummer]

Yep, at your age I was a loner too. I moved to a new city. I was in school, but I didn't make any friends in my classes. I felt awful all the time. Often like it would just be better if I never existed.

It changes, though. You sort of have to force yourself to become social. Take new jobs. Talk to people in your classes.

[vashti]

Booba, I am worried about your chronic depression. Have you considered seeking some professional help?

Also, is there any way you can avoid seeing the girl? I mean, do you HAVE to take classes with her again? I think it would be best to avoid her all together.

What's your relationship like with your mom, and do you have any siblings?

[misombra]

aw booboo.

[Indignant]

did you know that Boobah means a doll in Hebrew?

[DoesntMatter]

Try to cheer up a little boobaa. Your day will come to have romantic experiences with a woman. But you have to be more receptive to OTHER girls. They aren't empty spaces. How would you know? You're a loner so you can't judge them for that. You would change your mind once you got to know them better. Just don't be so judging right off the bat

[Gigabitch]

Boobaa, I want you to volunteer your time next summer. Go work for the Red Cross and help some of those starving children in Africa. You're in a terrible rut and you need to shake yourself out of it.

[boobaa]

Booba, I am worried about your chronic depression. Have you considered seeking some professional help?

Also, is there any way you can avoid seeing the girl? I mean, do you HAVE to take classes with her again? I think it would be best to avoid her all together.

What's your relationship like with your mom, and do you have any siblings?

Well, I did sign up for a psychiatrist, but there is a long line to wait my turn. Anyway, I don't like doctors.

My mom, sorry, won't work. I don't trust my mom and she probably don't know what to do, as always.

My brother has a life of his own. I lend him money once in a while and that's about it. He is really buzy always.

[DoesntMatter]

If you get the opportunity, you should move to a sunnier climate. I bet the weather really affects you, you talk about the grayishness in a lot of your posts. If you get the opportunity, move to Florida or something

[Gigabitch]

Oh, yeah! You should go work on a cruise ship for the summer!

[vashti]

Do you exercise regularly? Do you sleep well?

I like the idea of volunteer work. It is really good for the soul.

Also, you need to develop a social life. Can you join any clubs at school?

What do you love?

[IndiReloaded]

I completely agree with DM & Giga. Working for a cruise ship at your age would be a complete blast. You should totally do this. You'd be very employable, given you speak a couple languages.

Feel better, babe. Life is actually quite good, you just don't know what you can do yet. Trust us, its a LOT more than you think.

[boobaa]

Do you exercise regularly? Do you sleep well?

I like the idea of volunteer work. It is really good for the soul.

Also, you need to develop a social life. Can you join any clubs at school?

What do you love?

I used to exercise, run and ride bicycle, but I don't have the willpower and energy anymore.
I sleep 4-5 hours. Then poof, sleep is gone. And few hours on daytime.

Volunteer work, hmm. Usually that requires some financing.

Clubs at school? Never heard of them.

I love good music. I love art, that's what I want to connect my life with. The high school job opportunity was a graphics artist for handheld devices in fairly good company at the time. It would have been a good start.

Now that I think about my experiences with this girl. When we were out, she asked me why I had blanked her previously. This came to me as a total surprise, because I hadn't done such thing. It was a misunderstandment and I had an explanation, but I don't know if she got it or not. I wanted to tell her that I noticed her almost on the first day, but thought maybe that was too much and saved it for later. Later never came and now she probably thinks I am a player because of that misunderstandment. I didn't approach her earlier because I thought she was taken as she was talking to phone quite often. But then I found out she was single and asked her out... What a mistake.

[vashti]

Try to forget the girl, sweety. You have bigger problems right now. Also, I don't know what you mean by "blanked her".

Why would volunteer work require financing? Do you play any musical instruments? Is there an orchestra at your school? Ask your professors about clubs for art and music enthusiasts. I know our school had a group of students that would go to hear symphonys the Greek Theater.