My ex-gf is interested again, I'm not

[Bokonon]

Remaining friends with an ex never worked out until a relationship that ended about a year ago. After a month had gone by we started talking again and hanging out occasionally, and were able to put the relationship issues in the past. A few months ago she got sent to another state by her company and has been lonely recently. There've been hints she's thrown at me that say she's interested in me again, and then recently I was chatting with her online and she suggested I buy a one-way ticket to her state, and then we could buy round-trip tickets to paradise. I was really taken off guard and while I can't remember my reply, it had all the tact of "wtf?!" I'm not interested in getting back together with her but would like to remain friends. What would be a nice, tactful way to let her know that I'm not interested? I've tried shrugging off her hints and even the "wtf" type response (though not intentional), but would like to be better prepared if it happens again. Also, from what I've written do you think we can remain friends or is this doomed?

Thanks, I appreciate any advice you have to offer.

[Gigabitch]

Oh, for Christ's sake.

You can't be friends with your ex. Stop stringing her along and cut ties. This never works because one of the people always has a residual attachment to the relationship. If there's no chance for her to ever get you back, it would be more kind to be very clear with her and let her move on.

[ButterflyDreamz]

Be honest with her. Tell her that you're not interested - not now or ever. After all, there's a reason why you guys broke up. And if she can't handle it then cut off all ties with her as friends. And sorry, it wasn't meant to be. Being friends with an ex isn't always easy.

[Bokonon]

Oh, for Christ's sake.

You can't be friends with your ex. Stop stringing her along and cut ties. This never works because one of the people always has a residual attachment to the relationship. If there's no chance for her to ever get you back, it would be more kind to be very clear with her and let her move on.

I will do it, but only for Christ.

For the record, I wasn't trying to string her along I (apparently naively) thought it may be possible to remain friends.

[carl1222]

I will do it, but only for Christ.

For the record, I wasn't trying to string her along I (apparently naively) thought it may be possible to remain friends.

Lots of people, men and women alike, share your naivite and try, with best intentions, to make the best of a breakup by trying to be friends.

It almost never works.

Carl.

[Bo]

well either way she's probably going to be upset. That's just that, but don't be an ass about it. And if she wants to know why you're not interested in her, tell her the truth but as i mentioned don't be mean....And it is actually possible to be friends with an ex. With some it's not possible, for example like ones that weren't very serious, or ones that ended very badly. But if the relationship wasn't SERIOUS....it's definitely possible and if she's willing to just be friends also after u tell her. i don't see why not..

[Bo]

*for example like ones that weren't very serious, or ones that ended very

i meant the ones that were...whoops.

[carl1222]

well either way she's probably going to be upset. That's just that, but don't be an ass about it. And if she wants to know why you're not interested in her, tell her the truth but as i mentioned don't be mean....And it is actually possible to be friends with an ex. With some it's not possible, for example like ones that were very serious, or ones that ended very badly. But if the relationship wasn't SERIOUS....it's definitely possible and if she's willing to just be friends also after u tell her. i don't see why not..

True, Bo. The touchstone is ... does someone still want it to be more?

If so, "friendship" is impossible. If not, and they still like each other Platonically, then it is.

Carl.

[Gigabitch]

The only exes I was ever "friends" with were the ones I wouldn't mind sleeping with again, I must admit. Is that friendship? Hell no, it isn't. Friends don't ****.