What if you loved someone else?

[Everlovin]

Hey yall,

A friend of mine is coming to see me. She is driving from the town I used to work in. She was a dispatcher for my old job, she texted me and asked me out to lunch. This is the same girl who introduced me to my ex-girlfriend (the paramedic).

I like this girl (dispatcher) she is a really nice down to earth sweet, sexy, kind, caring and considerate girl.

I actually have a secret and restrained love for her.

She has had a boyfriend of four years whom she is not completely satisfied with.

I want her, tell me how to get her and to woo her away from her boyfriend, I am the one for her.

thanks.

[vashti]

No one with a four year relationship will ever be *completely* satisfied. This would be true even if YOU were her boyfriend. That said, I think if you are really interested, you should just tell her that she should let you know when she dumps the guy because you want to date her. Do not try to date her while she is attached to someone else.

EDIT - after reading your other thread, I think you should get a job and move out before approaching this girl. A grown man living with his parents and collecting unemployment is not generally considered a good proposition.

[glow]

you are asking how to steal someone's girlfriend?
all you can do is say that you have feelings for her and leave it at that.
you don't get to decide you were meant to be together.

[Everlovin]

EDIT - after reading your other thread, I think you should get a job and move out before approaching this girl. A grown man living with his parents and collecting unemployment is not generally considered a good proposition.

Her current bf has been unemployed for three years, she completly supports both of them and the monthly mortage payment. Given the circumstances, I am an excellent proposition.

[carl1222]

Her current bf has been unemployed for three years, she completly supports both of them and the monthly mortage payment. Given the circumstances, I am an excellent proposition.

Hey, ever ... I'm an attorney with a mid six figure income ... if you are successful at blowing up her current relationship, please give me her number so I can blow up yours ... I am an even more excellent proposition.

OK, I'm being facetious, but the point is that she's currently in a committed relationship and you are a potential intruder. Relationships are fraught with landmines especially during troubled times. The resolution of these troubles is between her and her boyfriend without your "help." You are a stranger here.

I disagree with vashti ... you should keep your mouth shut! If the time comes when she makes her OWN decision to break up with him, then you can throw your hat in the ring ... not before. If and when she does breakup, your fingerprints should not be on it.

Carl.

[doppelgaenger]

No one with a four year relationship will ever be *completely* satisfied.

Why do you say that?

[Cain]

Hey, ever ... I'm an attorney with a mid six figure income ... if you are successful at blowing up her current relationship, please give me her number so I can blow up yours ... I am an even more excellent proposition.

OK, I'm being facetious, but the point is that she's currently in a committed relationship and you are a potential intruder. Relationships are fraught with landmines especially during troubled times. The resolution of these troubles is between her and her boyfriend without your "help." You are a stranger here.

I disagree with vashti ... you should keep your mouth shut! If the time comes when she makes her OWN decision to break up with him, then you can throw your hat in the ring ... not before. If and when she does breakup, your fingerprints should not be on it.

Carl.

I'm going to say this again. I used to feel the exact same way you did. But, honestly, as long as all he does is saying something like "be sure to let me know if you're ever single again" then there's nothing wrong with that. She'll decide what she wants to do.

I don't, however, agree with trying to steal her away. What's the point? If she leaves him for you she'll leave you for someone else. Why do some guys not get that?

Let her know that you like her. Do NOT say anything about thinking you're meant to be together. That'll make her extremely uncomfortable I'm sure.

[Cain]

Why do you say that?

You're out of the honeymoon stage. You become familiar with each other and that eventually leads to boredom. It's not near as exciting as it used to be. And that's normal.

[vashti]

I disagree with vashti ... you should keep your mouth shut! If the time comes when she makes her OWN decision to break up with him, then you can throw your hat in the ring ... not before. If and when she does breakup, your fingerprints should not be on it.

Carl.

If this guy wants to take her off the market, he should marry her. It's not over till the ring is on the finger (and I guess for some people, it's not even over then). Besides, if she loves her boyfriend, she won't be interested.

[IndiReloaded]

Hey, ever ... I'm an attorney with a mid six figure income ...

Oh Good! I'm not the only other bored prof on this site. Actually, I think Dig is also.

Sorry... carry on.

[Everlovin]

If this guy wants to take her off the market, he should marry her.

Vash, I am going to put myself on the line here..but when it comes to love thats all I can do; follow my heart.

I am going to marry her. I will man up and be the man for her, the man for us.

I know that I came across as a slacker in my other thread. The truth is: I need to work and I have been applying my ass off. The economy sucks now and I was actually laid off from my po-po job. Many places are simply sending me generic reply letters stating that the public sector is not immune to the current economy and hiring is frozen. My post in the other thread was my attempt to make light of a situation that bothers me. Thats how people in my world are, we have tweaked senses of humor. I want to do my job because its my calling and I have a genuine passion for it. Beleive me, its sexy when a man loves his job and takes pride in it, thats why I have so many great girls in my life. But now, I want the one.

And this girl IS the one. I know it because I can feel it.

Listen, every one of you, especially Indi and Vash and the older ladies help me win this girl over the old school romantic way. We are perfect, if you think this is long, it would take me 10 pages to to tell you all the reasons why I know this.

Rally behind me and help me. Now!

[blackzj52]

Vash, I am going to put myself on the line here..but when it comes to love thats all I can do; follow my heart.

I am going to marry her. I will man up and be the man for her, the man for us.

And this girl IS the one. I know it because I can feel it.

Rally behind me and help me. Now!

oh?
i seem to remember just reading this

When I break up, and throughout my relationships with girls, I watch gay porn and the thought is always in the back of my mind that if it doesn't work out, I could have some hot men to have fun with in my life.

Basically, you need to replace your sad thoughts with something else...and taboo gay sex does the trick for me!

i could be a real asshole here and tell you what i really think, but ill say this in a nicely as i can.
youv willingly taken it up the butt, or atleast youv had thoughts/wishes to, youre not a man.

[carl1222]

If this guy wants to take her off the market, he should marry her. It's not over till the ring is on the finger (and I guess for some people, it's not even over then). Besides, if she loves her boyfriend, she won't be interested.

Vashti ... restore my faith in you and please tell me you don't believe what you are saying!!!

You are wrong at so many levels.

There are so many steps of commitment between agreeing to be boyfriend/girlfriend and marriage. Are you really suggesting that it's basically a free for all until it's sealed legally?

Are you really suggesting that there are no temptations to a woman from a guy who engages in a full court press to blow up her relationship?

Restore my faith!

Carl.

[IndiReloaded]

Are you really suggesting that there are no temptations to a woman from a guy who engages in a full court press to blow up her relationship?

Carl. Of course there is temptation. Life is full of choices & being married is no real protection. Ever's morals and reasoning is his alone. Tho, I agree with you, it would be best for him to stay neutral.

I'm interested tho. This gal does seem to be contacting him of her own will. So something is going on.

Ever, I'd love to help you in this case but I just can't. Sorry hun.

[vashti]

Vashti ... restore my faith in you and please tell me you don't believe what you are saying!!!
Carl.

Sorry, friend. I believe it. I'd consider it a blessing if someone I was involved that could be so easily swayed would be taken off my hands before I was stuck for good.