problem with gf and porn

[Anonymous Girl]

I made those vids with him and took pics only for him, so I guess they can be considered porn but I did it for him and no one else. I honestly thought that he wouldn't want to watch other stuff anymore but I was wrong. And I know it's not right to want to change someone... but unfortunately I can't accept this part of my bf.

Seeing as how all of you are bored with this (even though you keep on reading, lol) I think that my bf and I should deal with this on our own and stop depending on others to tell us what to do...

Thank you all for your help and good luck in your own relationships!

[Aeradalia]

And I know it's not right to want to change someone... but unfortunately I can't accept this part of my bf.

I think that my bf and I should deal with this on our own and stop depending on others to tell us what to do...


Thank you all for your help and good luck in your own relationships!

So because you can't accept this part of your boyfriend, you're going to try to change him even though you know it's not right? That's a strange sort of logic.

I wonder how you and him will deal with this when it's obvious that you're willing to do something that you know isn't right?

You mean stop listening to advice that conflicts with your views, not necessarily other people telling you what to do?

I think you will be needing the luck far more than many of us. So in that case, good luck in your relationship.

[IndiReloaded]

I made those vids with him and took pics only for him, so I guess they can be considered porn but I did it for him and no one else. I honestly thought that he wouldn't want to watch other stuff anymore but I was wrong. And I know it's not right to want to change someone... but unfortunately I can't accept this part of my bf.

Seeing as how all of you are bored with this (even though you keep on reading, lol) I think that my bf and I should deal with this on our own and stop depending on others to tell us what to do...

Thank you all for your help and good luck in your own relationships!

You are entitled to your preferences. Like not wanting to date a smoker, or a meat-eater if you were vegetarian. The porn issue isn't fundamentally different.

What isn't right is trying to change someone else. I doubt YOU would be pleased if your BF started insisting you give up makeup, or a certain music you enjoy, or something equally arbitrary.

Decide what you need & then make choices appropriately. It is in your best interests, however, to make sure that whatever choices you make are ones you are reasonably sure you won't regret later. Think of the pros & cons, decide what is important to argue for and what isn't and then go for it.

And yes, you are right: it is time for you & your BF to sort this out b/t you. You've basically read the range of opinions you will get on this matter.

Good luck, both of you.

[damn2008]

I have a friend who broke up with her longtime b/f because of his porn collection. She felt he "cheated on her" with it. Basically...trust was lost, but they've been on-and-off for the past year and they're both hitting 30 soon and playing games with each other. I don't know if she knows what to do because she's so confused and thick-headed. I think they both WANT to get by it, but obviously she doesn't feel like trust can be regained. And like it was mentioned before, once that trust is breached even ONCE, it is nearly impossible to get back.

Porn in a relationship will always be a hot debate with both sides for and against.

Personally, I'd respect what my s/o wants with it...but that's me.