Funny cyber-sex chat transcript

[Asparagoose]

if these are real, then this guy is a genius

[Illusional]

the mage one was funny.

raverboy

[boobaa]

These are funny indeed.

But actually i have never ever got what is so special about web-sex except being funny once in a while. Its boring, how can it be called sex? Whats the point of it? Even if you get hard, you wouldn't be able to jerk because you need to type fast. WTF?

[Illusional]

it's the use of your imagination that makes it fun.

raverboy

[boobaa]

Yes, maybe, but it is not sex.

[Illusional]

sometimes, we can't always have sex when we want to so we turn to other alternatives. just look at DM.

raverboy

[TheGreek]

These are funny indeed.

But actually i have never ever got what is so special about web-sex except being funny once in a while. Its boring, how can it be called sex? Whats the point of it? Even if you get hard, you wouldn't be able to jerk because you need to type fast. WTF?

Ever heard of "one-handed typing?"

[lightning88]

omg these are hallarious,I've seen the first one on myspace but the others are sooooooooooooooo funny too LMAO

and booba,use one hand to type duh! and it may not be sex but its better than doing it yourself,lol

[ladiesman247]

that is some funny shit! actually crying a lil bit! lol

[Aeradalia]

Cybersex = erotic stories where you choose your own endings.. yay!!!

[lovesam]

That's hillarious!!

I can't stop laughing. This bloodninja has his own fantasies. Great!!

Thanks for sharing.

[Mish]

I lol'ed...

[im-mi]

Haaa, it is pretty funny script. I like it

[d3vans]

hahahahha this is hillarious!

[Lipp]

<Sweetheart> Hi
<Bloodninja> hello
<Bloodninja> who is this?
<Sweetheart> just a someone?
<Bloodninja> A someone I know?
<Sweetheart> nope
<Bloodninja> Then why the hell are you bothering me?
<Sweetheart> well sorrrrrry
<Sweetheart> I just wanted to chat with you
<Bloodninja> why?
<Sweetheart> nevermind your an asshole
<Bloodninja> Hey wait a minute
<Sweetheart> yes?
<Bloodninja> look I'm sorry. I'm just a little paranoid
<Sweetheart> paranoid?
<Bloodninja> yes
<Sweetheart> of what?
<Sweetheart> me?
<Bloodninja> No. I'm in hiding.
<Sweetheart> LOL
<Bloodninja> Don't ****ing laugh at me!
<Bloodninja> This shit is serious!
<Sweetheart> What are you hiding from?
<Bloodninja> The cops.
<Sweetheart> gimme a ****ing break
<Bloodninja> I'm serious.
<Sweetheart> I don't get it
<Bloodninja> The cops are after me.
<Sweetheart> For what?
<Bloodninja> I'm wanted in three states
<Sweetheart> For???
<Bloodninja> It's kindof embarrasing.
<Bloodninja> I had sex with a turkey.
<Bloodninja> Hello?
<Sweetheart> You are ****ing sick.
<Bloodninja> Send me your picture.
<Sweetheart> why?
<Bloodninja> so I know you aren't one of them.
<Sweetheart> One of what?
<Bloodninja> The cops.
<Sweetheart> I'm not a cop i told you
<Bloodninja> Then send me your picture.
<Sweetheart> hold on
<Bloodninja> Hurry up.
<Bloodninja> Are you there?
<Bloodninja> **** you, cop!
<Sweetheart> Hey sorry
<Sweetheart> I had to do something for my mom.
<Bloodninja> I thought you were trying to find a picture to send to me.
<Bloodninja> When really you were notifying the authorities.
<Bloodninja> Weren't you!?
<Sweetheart> thats not it
<Bloodninja> Then what?
<Sweetheart> I don't want to send you the picture cause I'm not pretty
<Bloodninja> Most cops aren't
<Sweetheart> IM NOT A ****ING COP YOU SHITHEAD!
<Bloodninja> Then send me the picture.
<Sweetheart> fine. What's your e-mail?
<Bloodninja> Just send it through here.
<Sweetheart> alright *PIC*
<Sweetheart> Did you get it?
<Bloodninja> Hold on. I'm looking.
<Sweetheart> That was me back in may
<Sweetheart> I've lost weight since then.
<Bloodninja> I hope so
<Sweetheart> what?!?
<Sweetheart> that hurt my feelings.
<Bloodninja> Did it?
<Sweetheart> Yes. I'm not that much smaller than that now.
<Bloodninja> Will it make you feel better if I send you my picture?
<Sweetheart> yes
<Bloodninja> Alright let me find it.
<Sweetheart> kks
<Bloodninja> Okay here it is. *PIC*
<Sweetheart> this isn't you.
<Bloodninja> I'll be damned if it ain't!
<Sweetheart> You don't look like that.
<Bloodninja> How the hell do you know?
<Sweetheart> cause your profile has another picture.
<Bloodninja> The profile pic is a fake.
<Bloodninja> I use it to hide from the cops.
<Sweetheart> You look like the Farm Fresh guy lol
<Bloodninja> Well, you look like you ATE the Farm Fresh guy....
<Bloodninja> Not to mention all the groceries.
<Sweetheart> Go **** yourself
<Bloodninja> I was going to until I saw that picture
<Bloodninja> Now my dick won't get hard for a week.
<Sweetheart> I shouldn't have sent you that picture.
<Sweetheart> You've done nothing but slam me.
<Sweetheart> you hurt me.
<Bloodninja> And calling me the Farm Fresh guy doesn't hurt me?
<Sweetheart> I thought you were bullshitting me!
<Bloodninja> Why would I do that?
<Sweetheart> I can't believe that cops are after you
<Bloodninja> I can't believe Santa lets you sit on his lap..
<Sweetheart> **** YOU!!!
<Bloodninja> You'd break both of his legs.
<Sweetheart> You're a ****ing asshole.
<Sweetheart> I've been teased my whole life because of my weight
<Sweetheart> and you make fun of me when you don't even know me
<Bloodninja> Ok. I'm sorry.
<Sweetheart> No you aren't
<Bloodninja> You're right. I'm not.
<Bloodninja>HAARRRRR!
<Sweetheart> I'm done with you
<Bloodninja> Aww. I'm sorry.
<Sweetheart> I'm putting you on ignore
<Bloodninja> Wait a sec
<Bloodninja> We got off on the wrong foot.
<Bloodninja> Wanna start over?
<Sweetheart> No
<Bloodninja> I'll eat your pussy
<Sweetheart> You'll what?
<Bloodninja> You heard me.
<Bloodninja> I said I'd eat your pussy.
<Sweetheart> I thought you said you couldn't get it hard after seeing my picture
<Bloodninja> Do I need a hard-on to eat your pussy?
<Sweetheart> I'd like to know that the man eating me out is excited yes
<Bloodninja> Well I'm not like most men.
<Bloodninja> I get excited in different ways.
<Sweetheart> Like what?
<Bloodninja> Do you really wanna know?
<Sweetheart> I don't know
<Bloodninja> You have to tell me yes or no.
<Sweetheart> I'm afraid to
<Bloodninja> Why?
<Sweetheart> cause
<Bloodninja> cause why?
<Sweetheart> well lets see
<Sweetheart> you say you have sex with turkeys. You call me fat. then you wanna eat me out
<Sweetheart> doesn't that seem strange to you?
<Bloodninja> Nope
<Sweetheart> well its strange to me
<Bloodninja> Fine. I won't do it if you don't want me to
<Sweetheart> I didn't say that
<Bloodninja> So is that a yes?
<Sweetheart> I guess so.
<Bloodninja> Ok. I need your help getting excited though.
<Bloodninja> Are you willing?
<Sweetheart> What do you need me to do?
<Bloodninja> I need you talk like a pirate.
<Sweetheart> ???
<Bloodninja> When I start to go limp... you say "HARRRR!!!"
<Bloodninja> ok?
<Bloodninja> Hello?
<Sweetheart> You can't be serious
<Bloodninja> Oh yes I am!
<Bloodninja> It's my fantasy.
<Sweetheart> this is retarded
<Bloodninja> Do you want it or not?
<Sweetheart> Yes I want it.
<Bloodninja> Then you'll do it for me?
<Sweetheart> sure
<Bloodninja> Ok. Here we go.
<Bloodninja> I gently remove your panties and being to massage your thighs.
<Bloodninja> You get really juicy thinking about my tounge brushing up against them
<Bloodninja> I softly begin to tounge your wet pussy.
<Bloodninja> I run my tounge up and down your smooth slit.
<Sweetheart> mmmm yeah
<Bloodninja> uh oh ...going limp.
<Sweetheart> Har
<Bloodninja> You gotta do better than that!
<Bloodninja> Your picture was really bad.
<Sweetheart> HARRRRRRRRRRRR
<Bloodninja> Ahhhh. Much better. I feel your pussy get more moist with every stroke.
<Bloodninja> I softly suck on your clit bringing it in and out of my mouth.
<Bloodninja> Your juices run down my chin as your scent makes its way to my nose.
<Bloodninja> I begin to feel empowered by your femininity.
<Sweetheart> mmmmmm you are good
<Bloodninja> I feel your thighs tighten as I suck harder
<Bloodninja> going limp
<Sweetheart> HARRRRRRR
<Bloodninja> Mmmm I grab your swelling buttocks in my hands.
<Bloodninja> You begin to sway back and forth.
<Bloodninja> going limp
<Sweetheart> this is stupid
<Bloodninja> ...still limp
<Bloodninja> Do it!
<Sweetheart> HARRRRRRRRRRRRR
<Bloodninja> I turn you around to lick your asshole.
<Bloodninja> I pry apart that battleship you call your ass.
<Bloodninja> I see shit nuggets hanging from the hair around your asshole.
<Sweetheart> WTF?!?!?
<Bloodninja> They stink really bad.
<Sweetheart> OMG STOP!!!
<Bloodninja> I start to get fed up with your ugly ass
<Bloodninja> I tear off your wooden peg leg.
<Bloodninja> I ram it up your ass.
<Sweetheart> YOURE A ****ING PYSCHO!!
<Bloodninja> Then I pour hot carmel over your head.
<Bloodninja> And turn you into a ****ing candy apple...
<Bloodninja> I kick you in the face!
<Sweetheart> **** YOU ASSHOLE!!
<Bloodninja> The celluloid from your cheeks hits the side of the cabin...
<Bloodninja> Your parrot flys away.
<Bloodninja> ...going limp again.
<Bloodninja> Hello?
<Bloodninja> Say it!
<Bloodninja> HAARRRRRR!!!!!