Am I In Love???

[AmIInLove]

Uhm... hi every one... I really did not know where to put this topic so i tried this sector... for last few months i can't sleep, eat and i have apsolutly no interest to anything that i was interested before... all i think about is just one girl... I really can't say this all in few senteces so i m gonna go a lil bit back in past... when all started...

4 years ago... I got in highschool and sit near most geekest guy i ever saw in m life... at least i tought so... i turned out he was a lazy ass looser after all ... i was ignoring him for about first full year and was hanging out more with buddy on the other side of my desk rather than with this looser... ironicly he became very good friend of mine... and so i ve eventually met his familly: his annyoying mom, wery calm father and his annoying fat lil sister who was 13 yrs old at time and i use to enjoy to make fun of her and kick her when she tried to sit in my lap or hug me (on my regret today)... yes... that is the same girl that is drivin me crazy now... anyway... as time passed both of them became my friends and we had alot of fun time together (not to mention towel fights xD)... more time i ve spended with her i started to realize i like her... by the time i finnaly admited to myself: ''OMG you stupid jackass this girl is BEUTIFULL!!! How could u ever ignore or reject her!! Or even think that she s fat!!!'' it was the worst possible time ever for me to realize that... She was dating the other guy from school that me and lazy ass friend were hanging out with... only thing is... we didn't know about it... to make it more dificult... he brake up with her... she loved him so much... she was crying for next few months... I was going to explode if i did not tell her that i like her... I just had to say it in wery bad time... She was still broken coz of my friend but i had to said it... i just couldn't hide it... all she said is it could never work out between us... as year passed and i finished highschool, she s now 17 i m 19... we became very close friends... every time we meet she has to hug me... has to kiss me... has to tell me something new that happend to her... i m no better than her... i have to do the same thing :S anyway... last saturday is the first time we were alone together (on coffe)... that was most interesting 2 hours i have ever spent in my life!! I LOVED EVERY SECOND OF IT! after we went back home there occured a lil conversation like this:

Me: Can i ask you something?
She:
-while i was saying that she removed smile from her face and took a rly serious look: Ok...
Me: Can i kiss you?
She: look i m sorry but i really don't have time for any boyfriends and stuff, i have a lot problems with school, with my parents...
Me:
-interrupted her: I did not ask to date you... I just asked you for one kiss...
She: Oh...
-Smile back on her face: well... ok...
Me:
-really big smile on my face xD
She: but not here (we were in the middle of street and there was alot off ppl)
Me: oh... yea... you r wright...

ye... when we get back to my car i could kiss her than... but... i didn't... i kinda... felt like she doesn't really want me to kiss her... so i just drive her home...
next day she said she ll take my lil syster to ice skating... we went there and even i got on ice even dough it has been 5 years i ve ever tried that ^^ man i broke my ass there xD lucky she did not see it... anyway... i drived her back home... she was kinda sad... so a new conversation started:

Me: Are u angry on me? did i do something stupid?
She: No... I m just tierd... And i have to study now... i have big test tommorow...
Me: oh... ok... well good luck than i guess...
She: when we gonna see each other again?
Me: -rly happy for her to be askin that: well i don't know... this week for sure?
She: how about tommorow? pick me up after work?
Me: Uh... yea sure! wanna go for coffe than?
She: yea that would be great...

we said goodbye and huged each other... next day (this monday) i was so happy that i m goin to see her today so i called her... asked her if she wanna go for coffe... she said she was too busy she got bad grade and has to study now ... that was looong day for me... i felt so lame and rejected... i couldn't even sleep whole night... to make it worst... next day i tried to call her again... she didn't answer the phone...first thing that poped in my head was: ''WTF DID I DO NOW???'' i was so sad and depresed that day... couldn't even sleep... so today... after i got that 2 hrs of sleep i am having fight in my brain:

CALL HER / DO NOT CALL HER

I tought... if i call her it will sound like i m pushing her... If i don't call her... Maybe she ll call me?? still has not called me but i know she rarely has money for calls coz she spends it all fast...

well... now i m here... askin you...

EDIT: notin to be asked from this post... look on the others...

[ButterflyDreamz]

...right now you're the only one who can decide whether or not you're in love. It could be an infautation, but only you can distinguish them.
...as to calling her. Well, give her time..be supportive. Wait a week or so...ask her if she wants to take a break from studying and go for a coffee or something with you. Or ask her if she wants to get together to study, I dunno.
And give it some time before you tell her how you feel about her...Whenver it is you find out how you feel about her...

[AmIInLove]

:/

i kinda think she already knows that i like her a lot...
yea... i read your advice too late ^^ already called her... and was funny but sad in same time :S

her bro answered xD

and when finally she took the phone this happened:

Me: hey??
She: sry got to go i m in a hury...
Me: No wait... don't u take at least 30 sec brake to talk to anyone? just wait ok?
She: uhm... ok? Oh yea sry i couldn't go... i was busy...
Me: that s ok... just... when r u gonna be done?
She: uhm tomorrow is the test...
Me: ok... so... can i steal your 30 mins after school?
She: I think so... I ll send u msg...
Me: u have no money on phone...
She: I ll borrow from my friend... look i really got to go now...
Me: ok good luck than...
She: bye...

BEEEP :/

wow... if i know anything about girls i would say that sucked... or this is suppose to be another really baaad test... it might be... i think next week is last day of school :/ i know how upset she can be if she fails... lol OMG... I am pushing her to hard :S dam... wish i called next week... anyway... thx... i guess :/

[AmIInLove]

:/

sience i realised what an jackass i was acctually... i ve decided to go and apologise to her... like some one tried to punish me and i was blocked in traffic for an hour ( i needed to cross freakin 3 km... i would be there in 15 mins if i was walking -.- ) so when i finally came there i had only like 5 min coz i had to go drive her brother somewhere (i promised him weeks ago) so i called her...

Me: Hey... can you come down please?
She: oh... u r not comin up?
Me: No please... just come down for 2 mins...
She: uhm... i m studying now... i really don't have time to go out now...
Me: No... just... i need to talk too you... it will only take 2 min...
She: look i am really tierd and in a bad mood... so if you...(She knows that i have feelings for her so i had to interrupt her before she says anymore... and anyway... usually when a boy starts conversation like that with her it usually ends with ''i like you and i wanna be with you'')
Me: NO! nothing like that... just come down maybe i can even cheer you up...
She: hehe... ok...

she came down looking wery sleepy and tierd what made me feel even more like an jackass :/

Me: ... you look so tierd... did u even sleep last two days?
She: heh... make up can't cover it? :/
Me: well... here... take this (i gave her umbrella she left in my car 2 days ago)
She: i tought i lost it... thanks... :/
Me: look... acctually... i wanted to apologise...
She: for what?
Me: for bein stupid jackass and was acting like i am the only one on this world and only my problems matters...
She: don't say that... it s not true... (a small smile showed on her face...)
Me: No really... i acted like i was never in your situation... like i was never in school and like i never had problems on last days with grades... and instead of asking you ''can i help'' or just leaving you alone to stay concetrated on your problem i was giving you more obligations... i m sorry...
She: no you were not... don't say that (yay... i did cheer her up a bit)
Me: look i m just sry... i should ve helped you instead of bothering you even more...
She: oh shut up u were not bothering me (she huged me)... we still gonna go to movies tomorrow?
Me: you wanna go?
She: aha...
Me: others are comin to? (friends and her bro)
She: yea... well... if they screw us up again you and me are going alone... we don't need them...

rest of convers is not really important... anyway she kissed me (in cheek ^^) coz i was in hurry and had to go... she seemed happy... yea... and i kinda admited myself finally... i do love her... no doubt about it anymore... she is the only girl that can attract my attention... so anyway... i ve decided not to call her... i ll just wait when she gets time and calls me... i know she likes me... but i don't know how much... i don't know if she finds me attractive (i know i m not sum kind of supermodel or something... but... i can't be the worst looking guy on this entire planet? :S) and if she is still a little hurt coz of my best friend (i have not seen him for long time now) dumped her...

sry for bad english btw... i m from contury that has english only as a second language so this convers probably sounded a lil bit different on my language...

so i really would like more opinion from ladies side... what would you do if you were her? does she likes me or just... i dont know what it could be :S... Is she still insecure coz of my friend? or maybe coz her brother is one of my best friends? i know him longer than i know her :/

[Lite]

Seems like you're young enough (and I know at that age it always seems like life and death when it comes to relationships) that you should relax, take it easy, and just not worry about it. Be her friend, be more, do whatever, just do it slowly, easily, and be chill.

No point in bending oneself out of shape for what may be instead of what is.

[AmIInLove]

:/

ye... i kinda figured that out by myself now... i ll just let her go and see what hapens... i really like her and i don't wanna rush in anything and loose her friendship coz of it... I would be so sad to never talk to her anymore just coz some ''1 week failiure'' relationship :/

if it s never going to happen nothing between us... than f*ck it... i ll rather just be her friend than...

anyway... i really needed this... i just needed to talk to some one about it and honestly... to talk about it with my parents or my bros -.-' (just kill me where i stand instead)... and i really have no good friend (female) to talk about it exept her... and feel really wierd to talk with my friends about it -.- they r all dicks who wants beer and 1 night stand and would be ripin on me for next few years until they get how stupid they r or something like that finally hapens to them...

so ty! and goodbye from me... I ve decided that really no one can help me but myself... so maybe 1 day i return ^^

[leahcim]

i have not even read what you have put about your love situation because if you have to ask the question am i in love? your more than likely not you should know your in love!

[Kerbey.Moor]

only you know if you are in love

dont ask the internet

[Aeradalia]

only you know if you are in love

dont ask the internet

Or... you could risk it and ask some people who have more experience than you... and may even know what love is - in that they have felt it.

It's really up to you... but I've learned that sometimes it doesn't hurt to ask for an objective view on something... even if it's about love or other emotions.

[chipmunkz]

hmmm, love, hard to explained..some mistery