What is everyones personal definition of Love?

[Only-virgins]

Thats kind of bogus that doesn't matter. Making the humanity better? Yeah I am sure you are on your payroll for the sake of humanity. Every scientist there is has done research and discovered something from their own personal interest, we usually do not do stuff against our will.

Yea cause that is what we want, starving scientists with no money. Lets throw our money at people who matter more like sports players. I never said we do stuff against our will.

[IndiReloaded]

When the relationship ceases to be easy-going and pleasurable I want out. I see no point in slogging through it.

Hedonist. Huh, interesting.

[Gribble]

Well I disagree. If you're being consistent about what you said earlier about commitment, I disagree. People don't make commitments just to have children and raise them. Hell, I'd bet there's quite a few people out there who'd like to just spend the rest of their life with one person, and not have anything to do with kids.

I mean you're explanation on love doesn't even cover homosexuality. What about homosexual love? Those people don't make commitments to have children. I mean, you kind of contradicted yourself by saying love is something concrete, chemical, that is universal... then you said it's not universal, and that there are different notions of love (which there are)

But anyway, it's seriousness you fear, not commitment. Now I think I understand.

If, for whatever reason, two members of the same sex are drawn together I believe it is for the same underlying goal. They may be incapable of reproducing, sure, but the hormones that drew them are blind to that. Or perhaps nature is clever and intends for homosexual relationships from the get-go. A small stop-gap in an effort to stem population growth.

The basic root of love is the same in human beings. The ideal, the romanticized notion, and the gravity that it is afforded differs from culture to culture.

Most of the relationships I have been in had no expectations of having children (especially the relationships with women)... and at the time I was content with that... thrilled even.

So commitment doesn't necessarily have to be a method of roping you into the 'father' role. Plenty of women out there that don't want children.

Most of the relationships you have been in were meant to be finite. You're weeding your way through potential mates until you find the right one. During that process you were probably not in a position to think about children. Ultimately, though, when you decide to get married and commit for life what's the point if not to provide a stable environment for your offspring?

If love is your answer I think most anyone who has been married ten years or more can assure you that those feelings will decay. If you want love in your life you must be in a position to move on and start something fresh and new.

[Mish]

Love is a chemical cocktail that draws a male and female together long enough to reproduce and (hopefully) care for their offspring until its continued survival no longer hinges entirely upon others. It's a sham. A con. A load of bull.

Hehe, here is an article that actually supports some of that [url]http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/health/7815095.stm[/url]


Though honestly I have big doubts about effectiveness if this process is going to be artificially manipulated like described in that article. The way I see it we have developed these chemicals / responses for legitimate reasons. For example, you stick your hand in the fire and immediately your reflex will withdraw it so you don't get burned. Supposedly we can manipulate that and disable the natural reflex, what will be the outcome? A hand reduced to ashes.

Like wise, I believe these chemicals operate in a very complex structural fashion that are there for the benefit of the individual. The chemicals (oxytocins) that bind one person to another person are ussually released when certain beneficial conditions are met. These beneficial conditions are usually instinctual, internal or even subconscious recognitions of compatibility of the possible mate. If these are going to be artificially manipulated like described in the above article then a whole range of negative after effects can occur as a result. It's very possible that a reflex will be disabled that prevents a hand from being burnt. As in instinctual drive bypassed to setup individuals with incompatible matches.

[IndiReloaded]

Grib, if you think romantic love is all there is to a good partnership, I feel really sorry for you. It's not mystical and it IS hard to achieve in our Me First society, but they do exist. I'm surprised at your cynicism.

[DoesntMatter]

Even if prostitutes don't plan on cumming when they have sex with their clients, they are still people and if the conditions are right they will

[Gribble]

Grib, if you think romantic love is all there is to a good partnership, I feel really sorry for you. It's not mystical and it IS hard to achieve in our Me First society, but they do exist. I'm surprised at your cynicism.

I know. You're supposed to work hard, make sacrifices, do this, do that.

That's what you do in school. You get a broadened mind and opportunities for your trouble. You move on to a career. More of the same. You get money and security.

What do you get out of a relationship?

I believe humans are selfish by nature. I'm not ashamed to admit that on some level just about everything I do I do for the sake of receiving a reward. Donations, gifts, courageous acts, etc., all done, at least partly, for selfish reasons. What do I get out of a relationship?

I can get sex without one. I can get romance with brief ones. In either case I can experience the joy of giving. I can't think of anything unique that long term commitment brings to the table. I can think of a slew of crap it brings, naturally, but (ignoring anything related to child-rearing) I don't see what a relationship has to offer that I can't find elsewhere and at less cost.

[Mish]

I know. You're supposed to work hard, make sacrifices, do this, do that.

That's what you do in school. You get a broadened mind and opportunities for your trouble. You move on to a career. More of the same. You get money and security.

What do you get out of a relationship?

Allegedly the same. You broaden your mind, develop good communication skills and get experience of solving complicated problems that you can use in other areas of your life. Various chances of self reflection and chances of becoming a better person because of it (though doesn't always happen that way)

I think a good long term relationship offers a unique opportunity that nothing else out there can offer which is for another person to get to know you even better than you know yourself through extended focus on 3rd person perspective and cast reflective feedback on areas of improvement that you may not be aware of yourself. That's ofcourse in the best case scenario, there are chances it can go the other way as well.


Personally I admit that various relationships I've been through helped me get a better idea and understanding of myself and what I'm capable of. It opened up my eyes to certain negative aspects of my personality and certain positive ones that I wasn't even aware of. Even though they ended, they allowed me a unique opportunity for growth.

[doppelgaenger]

That and someone gets closer to you than anyone else ever has, and (hopefully) turns out to be the best friend you'll ever have. < That's kind of rare, though... in what Indi calls this me first society.

I guess that's kinda what I appreciate most from my relationship. I mean, I could fart in front of her and she'd laugh! It doesn't get better than that... nosirree. Someone who would enjoy smelling your flatulence with you.... *sigh*

[IndiReloaded]

I don't see what a relationship has to offer that I can't find elsewhere and at less cost.

Someone who is just as committed your your growth and development as you are. Someone who will act as a mirror and show you who you really are. Someone you trust enough to give them your 'buttons' and teach you how to deal with those issues. Someone intelligent to talk to, someone who will argue with you and make you see something differently, someone who will push you to the limits they know you can achieve, someone who will be there when noone else will be, someone who actually, truly gives a shit and is on your side no matter what (within reason). Someone who will give you the straight goods when noone else will. Someone who makes you laugh, cry and FEEL things. Someone to sit on a porch with when you are old. Someone who will miss you when you are gone. Someone you will miss when they are gone & give you memories to cherish.

[IndiReloaded]

I mean, I could fart in front of her and she'd laugh! It doesn't get better than that... nosirree. Someone who would enjoy smelling your flatulence with you.... *sigh*

That's b/c she *can't* smell them. Or do you do remote 'scratch n sniff'?

[doppelgaenger]

That's b/c she *can't* smell them. Or do you do remote 'scratch n sniff'?

Oh I am silent but deadly.

I used to blame the dog!

[lastwish]

For me, its the feeling of wanting to stay with a person and just him and no one else. Faith in the relationship and in him is what defines love for me. And I want to stay with him because I am in love with him as a person, not solely for money, looks, and other external pressures.

[Only-virgins]

I don't see what a relationship has to offer that I can't find elsewhere and at less cost.

I can't either.

and all the philosophical ideas are phony, how about some really need for someone else? I want a damn good logical reason why I should stay with someone and it better not be taxes cause I make enough for those myself.

I know. You're supposed to work hard, make sacrifices, do this, do that.

Hell no, who told you this crap? I am not working at a relationship, you crazy? the point of one is fun and entertainment. This is natural entertainment for us thanks to evolution and in the process to breed, and it is better than any movie...and people with their.."commitment and responsibilities bah blah blah blah!!!!!" ****ing kill the movie!

[Only-virgins]

For me, its the feeling of wanting to stay with a person and just him and no one else. Faith in the relationship and in him is what defines love for me.

That feeling makes my skin crawl. I want the butterflies, I want the big black eyes. I want the breathless feeling and short burst of adrenaline. I want the perfection that it seems to be. I want the temporary eternity. Cause I rather have a relationship for one month that gives me this high than a relationship forever that is this "successful" relationship" that people speak of. I live in the moment, for I know my life is nothing but a moment itself.