Hey Guys,
so I recently hooked up with a guy friend and we went pretty far. We almost had sex, but he didn't have condoms on him and I had my period. So we kinda decided to just lie naked and do stuff. I kinda implied to him that I wanted to go further next time, i.e. have sex, and he seemed to want to too.
However, recently in our text messages he was concerned that maybe I was rushing things, especially because he was moving really far away soon. He was concerned especially because I haven't had sex before. But the weird thing is he's always acted very sexually towards me, like talking about perverted stuff and hinting at his sexual attraction to me, so I just don't get it.
To be honest, we don't know each other too well, and before this hook up, we didn't really treat each other that well, like it was more of a convenience kind of relationship, where we'd hangout occasionally, and I didn't treat him that well, ie I didn't always answer his texts asking me to hangout with him...
I guess my question is, is he really concerned that I may be rushing things for myself, or do you think maybe he's also concerned about what this might mean for him and if so, what?
And also, I have been text messaging him more often, do you think this will freak him out and do you think if I act more interested, he will freak out? I told him about how he was the right one and this was the right time when he asked me if I was sure that I wanted to sleep with him.
Maybe I should just give him more space?
Thank you for reading this.
I am also starting to like him a lot, perhaps it's just lust, but I'm more attached to him now than before....
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30-12-08, 01:14 PM #1
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We hooked up and I am falling for him
Last edited by Ikea; 30-12-08 at 01:39 PM.
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30-12-08, 02:47 PM #2
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May I ask how old you are?
If you can't handle me at my worst, then you sure as hell don't deserve me at my best. ~ Marilyn Monroe
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30-12-08, 08:05 PM #3
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Ikea, this is a guy that you said yourself you don't know very well, and your main concern right now seems to be him liking you. Well, there's a much more important thing here that you should be concerned about. You need the time to find out if he's right for you and you like him. (beyond the initial lust/attraction phase that is)
Beyond the initial attraction to him, what else is there drawing you to this guy? And what do you end up wanting out of the relationship? If he's going away soon, why bother with this guy at all?
My advice: Don't sleep with him. You sound like you're rushing way too fast into an intimate relationship that you may not be ready for. Figure out if he's a stand up guy before you sleep with him. If at all.Last edited by starbuck; 30-12-08 at 10:39 PM.
“Inside every cynical person, there is a disappointed idealist”--George Carlin
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31-12-08, 09:20 AM #4
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yeah u shouldn't sleep with this guy, and especially not if you haven't really truly gotten to know him. The first guy i had sex with, i knew for about two years and i waited til we dated for about six months. i still ended up regretting it. so u should think long and hard about the first person u have sex with.
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31-12-08, 10:15 AM #5
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Well, the explanation for your question in bold is that there is a world of difference between flirtation and real life. Sounds like you found a decent guy who is concerned about the effect on you of giving your virginity to someone who will be leaving soon. Maybe he's right ... having sex for the first time with him is probably a bad idea because you will be even more attached when he finally leaves.
Originally Posted by Ikea
Carl.
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02-01-09, 12:06 AM #6
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Thanks guys for your suggestions, I really appreciate it
I think I'm just gonna wait and see what happens.
Happy New Years!
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02-01-09, 12:28 AM #7
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hahahaha no you're not. Originally Posted by Ikea
"Why are you an atheist?"
"because I paid attention in science class."
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02-01-09, 02:02 AM #8
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Originally Posted by Ikea
Originally Posted by Only-virgins
Could be the truth... some women aren't nearly so active as men behind closed doors...
"The weakest soul, knowing its own weakness, and believing this truth that strength can only be developed by effort and practice, will, thus believing, at once begin to exert itself, and, adding effort to effort, patience to patience, and strength to strength, will never cease to develop, and will at last grow divinely strong."
- James Allen
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02-01-09, 02:17 AM #9
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what? are you trying to say the opposite? Originally Posted by Aeradalia
Could be the truth... some women aren't nearly so active as men behind closed doors..."Why are you an atheist?"
"because I paid attention in science class."
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02-01-09, 02:32 AM #10
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Dammit... alrighty... I'll be blunt... ahem.. Originally Posted by Only-virgins
It's easy to 'wait and see what happens' if you're laying down and he's the one doing all the work..."The weakest soul, knowing its own weakness, and believing this truth that strength can only be developed by effort and practice, will, thus believing, at once begin to exert itself, and, adding effort to effort, patience to patience, and strength to strength, will never cease to develop, and will at last grow divinely strong."
- James Allen
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02-01-09, 02:35 AM #11
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Ok, comparing the two posts it wasn't even close. Originally Posted by Aeradalia
"Why are you an atheist?"
"because I paid attention in science class."
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02-01-09, 02:40 AM #12
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Eh.. little distracted as of late... but will certainly do much better on future posts... Originally Posted by Only-virgins
"The weakest soul, knowing its own weakness, and believing this truth that strength can only be developed by effort and practice, will, thus believing, at once begin to exert itself, and, adding effort to effort, patience to patience, and strength to strength, will never cease to develop, and will at last grow divinely strong."
- James Allen
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05-01-09, 11:21 AM #13
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Actually we're going pretty slow right now.
I don't mind though. I just hope I won't miss him too much.
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05-01-09, 11:33 AM #14
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Good girl! Goooo slow. It will be worth the wait to have a better sense of who he is before you jump into the physical.
It's a test of sorts to make sure he's not one of the MANY guys out there who just wants to get into your pants and then bail.“Inside every cynical person, there is a disappointed idealist”--George Carlin
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