Increasing Attraction...

[1averagejoe]

I do know that a large majority of wifes and girlfriends of the soldiers end up leaving or cheating on them because they're gone for so long. 6 months isn't bad. But imagine 2 years without them. I know I would have a lot of trouble.

[Only-virgins]

I do know that a large majority of wifes and girlfriends of the soldiers end up leaving or cheating on them because they're gone for so long. 6 months isn't bad. But imagine 2 years without them. I know I would have a lot of trouble.

Women are weak.

[Aeradalia]

Women are weak.

I'd like to be able to say 'Not this one,' but that wouldn't be an honest answer. What I can say though, is that he deserves the best of me and he will have it. I can only hope that the best part of me is not so flawed and lacking in integrity that it would be viewed as an inferior gift to be given.

Over the next few months I will offer words of encouragment and uphold my fidelity to him so he will not have to worry. And if this is not enough... then I will do more, until it is. I do not believe in the 'one' or fate, so this makes the odds of finding someone like him incredibly low and his value incredibly high to me. I cannot risk losing him... I may never find someone like him again - someone who loves me and works so well with the oddity that is me.

He brings the rarest and most valuable thing into my life... happiness... and he asks for so little in return.

[Cain]

I do know that a large majority of wifes and girlfriends of the soldiers end up leaving or cheating on them because they're gone for so long. 6 months isn't bad. But imagine 2 years without them. I know I would have a lot of trouble.

Women are weak.

Don't even think for one second that only the women end up cheating. You have no idea what goes on when soldiers are deployed. When my unit was deployed to Iraq, cheating was so prevalent that I'm willing to bet that the soldiers cheated more than the spouses that stayed at home.

[Only-virgins]

Don't even think for one second that only the women end up cheating. You have no idea what goes on when soldiers are deployed. When my unit was deployed to Iraq, cheating was so prevalent that I'm willing to bet that the soldiers cheated more than the spouses that stayed at home.

Those men are weak.

I'd like to be able to say 'Not this one,' but that wouldn't be an honest answer. What I can say though, is that he deserves the best of me and he will have it. I can only hope that the best part of me is not so flawed and lacking in integrity that it would be viewed as an inferior gift to be given.

Over the next few months I will offer words of encouragment and uphold my fidelity to him so he will not have to worry. And if this is not enough... then I will do more, until it is. I do not believe in the 'one' or fate, so this makes the odds of finding someone like him incredibly low and his value incredibly high to me. I cannot risk losing him... I may never find someone like him again - someone who loves me and works so well with the oddity that is me.

He brings the rarest and most valuable thing into my life... happiness... and he asks for so little in return.

He sounds very lucky. Sounds like he does ask for a lot and not little. Reread what you are ready to give him, a lot actually. Though sounds ok to me.

[Cbrider]

Yeah he leaves in about a week... so I am trying to do many things right now.. I guess. Normally I can block out emotions and carry on with life... even been able to do this in past relationships... but with him I can't.

So I find my emotions are trying to 'burn the candle at both ends' so to speak. I feel that part of me wants to believe he's such a great catch so that waiting for him will seem worthwhile (and a big part of me does... perhaps 99%). While another part of me is seemingly attacking his character trying to find fault, so I can be somewhat apathetic and his leaving won't hurt as much.

I've been without friends and relatives for many months at a time (even years with close friends) before seeing them again... but for him to leave for 6 months is quite early in our relationship. I feel devastated, and can sense that petulant cry within me that says 'It's not fair! and the urge to want to sob like a small child.

I have no doubt about my faithfulness... it's far too strongly ingrained in me. I may flirt over the next few months and have male friends... but they won't lead to anything... I won't let it. He knows this and I am happy I can offer him that peace of mind.

I can't guarantee that I can hold onto my heart, because it wants to go wherever he goes... I've waited too long for someone like him to lose him now.



Essentially I just have the jitters because he's leaving and I know I won't have my 'emotional shield' to protect me... I'll have to deal with all these emotions in full force. I know I'll be ok.. it's just me 'bitching' I guess.

Call me crazy, but I think it will be good for you to have him gone for a period of time. I don't say that in a cruel or cynical way either, I mean it in a good way.

With him being gone you will truly be able to delve into your feelings for him and get a rock solid idea of what this man means to you. You think you know what he means to you now, and you may very well be spot on, but having a separation will solidify this one way or another.

I can't speak for his character because I know nothing about him, but you are sane enough and a genuinely good person from every post I have seen of yours which makes me believe this guy is in just as deep and right by your side with everything.

I know if I was in this position the most important thing to me would be to know that my girlfriend was set on me and that I didn't have to worry about the relationship while I was away. You covered that base and I guarantee you that will make everything ten fold easier for him.

Like everyone said, you seem to have found what is probably a life long match for yourself. You analyze him and can't find any flaw worth mentioning no matter how hard you look. There are a lot of people out there that have a reaction like yours that I know....you have something so good that it kind of scares you in a way. Theres nothing wrong with it, its human nature to be suspicious of the "too good to be true" things.

You just need to come to grips with yourself that this guy is the one or that hes not. You will find your answer but your the only one who will know and the answer is inside of you. Take time to enjoy your next week with him and know that hes only going to be gone temporarily.

Make sure you find yourself some hobbies or something while he is away to busy yourself. It will not only make you feel more at ease, but also you will get personal gain from it

Hang tight Aeradalia, you draw your own fate in the world and we will all still be here

[IndiReloaded]

Don't even think for one second that only the women end up cheating. You have no idea what goes on when soldiers are deployed. When my unit was deployed to Iraq, cheating was so prevalent that I'm willing to bet that the soldiers cheated more than the spouses that stayed at home.

All that testosterone. Not to mention the stress. I might be inclined to forgive my spouse for cheating depending on the circumstances.

Not condoning it, just saying (never having served) that I can imagine one gets a different perspective when you're worried about you & your mates dying anytime.

Come to think, Dalia, you might want to both get tested when he gets back. Just to be safe, you know? I know there are those who will freak, scream "trust", etc, but it goes both ways. And there is nothing wrong with being practical.

[Aeradalia]

Sounds like he does ask for a lot and not little. Reread what you are ready to give him, a lot actually.

He doesn't ask for these things from me... all he's ever asked directly is for me to be happy. I just feel like he deserves so much more... and I want to give him those things... if I can. His happiness means a lot to me, and I have not forgotten myself in the midst of all this. It is because he brings me happiness that I wish to keep him happy.

will be good for you to have him gone for a period of time
With him being gone ... be able to delve into your feelings for him ...idea of what this man means to you. ...having a separation will solidify this one way or another.
...makes me believe this guy is in just as deep and right by your side with everything.
...analyze him and can't find any flaw worth mentioning no matter how hard you look.
...need to come to grips with yourself that this guy is the one or that hes not. ...

I agree and I'm trying not to rush anything... let it occur in its own time. At the same time, I'm trying to make sure that what I feel is genuine and not infatuation... or something else.

might be inclined to forgive my spouse for cheating depending on the circumstances.

...both get tested when he gets back.

We've discussed the possibility of infidelity while he is away... and though he calmly assures me that I needn't worry... I can tell that he is hurt that I would think of him doing that even in a hypothetical way. Though I'll ask him when I get the chance... I doubt he would be opposed to the idea of both of us getting tested.

[IndiReloaded]

Good. Welcome to the concept of "trust, but verify".