Please, just somebody tell me what I should do.

[trickin123]

Ok. Well from the top. I dated this guy, on and off for about 2 years. The reason why we always broke up was because he always cheated on me or was just ignoring me, and when we broke up he'd try to get me back and blame everything on me, and the only reason I put up with it was because I was head over heels so in love with the boy. So, I finally ended it with him January 08, and started dating someone else immediatley to get over him. I have fallen in love with my new guy, and he proposed to me. Now the other guy, he also got a new girlfriend eventually, and she got pregnant within 4 months. And now he always trys to talk to me, and begs for me to break up with my fiance and take him back, but he has done this since the day I broke up with him. He is always texting me these messages like "Im not meant to be with her, I want to be with you." "I sware this time I'll treat you like a angel." "If I didn't love you, I wouldn't risk everything for you." And he didnt call me but maybe three times the whole 2 years we dated. And now he calls me and trys and trys. So the other day, I gave him the benifit of the doubt and I was supposed to meet up with him and hang out. He blows me off because he says he didnt have any gas, after he talked about hanging out with me ALL day and the day before that. I got pissed off and I went off on him I told him thats the reason that we'd never be together again because he ****s up to much. Now he wont talk to me and he just ignores me, but I still love him more than anything in the world, and Im so confused. If anybody could tell me what I need to do from a outside point, I'd appreciate it so much.

[Aeradalia]

Ok. Well from the top. I dated this guy, on and off for about 2 years. The reason why we always broke up was because he always cheated on me or was just ignoring me, and when we broke up he'd try to get me back and blame everything on me, and the only reason I put up with it was because I was head over heels so in love with the boy.

An off an on relationship is unstable and unhealthy and cheating removes trust... which is fundamental to any healthy relationship. You had an unhealthy relationship that was practically dead when the trust was removed. When you are 'in love' logic does not go out the window.

So, I finally ended it with him January 08, and started dating someone else immediatley to get over him. I have fallen in love with my new guy, and he proposed to me.

This guy is a rebound... are you sure that you're in love with him and not just using him as an emotional crutch?

Now the other guy, he also got a new girlfriend eventually, and she got pregnant within 4 months. And now he always trys to talk to me, and begs for me to break up with my fiance and take him back, but he has done this since the day I broke up with him. He is always texting me these messages like "Im not meant to be with her, I want to be with you." "I sware this time I'll treat you like a angel." "If I didn't love you, I wouldn't risk everything for you." And he didnt call me but maybe three times the whole 2 years we dated. And now he calls me and trys and trys.

If this guy is this irresponsible (enough so to get another girl pregnant) and has hurt you so badly... why didn't you cut all ties with him?

So the other day, I gave him the benifit of the doubt and I was supposed to meet up with him and hang out. He blows me off because he says he didnt have any gas, after he talked about hanging out with me ALL day and the day before that. I got pissed off and I went off on him I told him thats the reason that we'd never be together again because he ****s up to much.

Why on earth did you agree to meet with him? Benefit of what doubt? There is no doubt this guy is irresponsible and there is no doubt this guy will hurt you. Past occurrences have proven this.

Now he wont talk to me and he just ignores me, but I still love him more than anything in the world, and Im so confused. If anybody could tell me what I need to do from a outside point, I'd appreciate it so much.

It's a good thing this guy won't talk to you anymore...

Do you love him more than your current guy who proposed to you?

I think you need to get over this guy that cheated on you... stop wasting your current guy's time because it seems you don't love him... and spend some time alone to sort out your feelings and figure out what it is that you really want.

[carl1222]

Ok. Well from the top. I dated this guy, on and off for about 2 years. The reason why we always broke up was because he always cheated on me or was just ignoring me, and when we broke up he'd try to get me back and blame everything on me, and the only reason I put up with it was because I was head over heels so in love with the boy. So, I finally ended it with him January 08, and started dating someone else immediatley to get over him. I have fallen in love with my new guy, and he proposed to me. Now the other guy, he also got a new girlfriend eventually, and she got pregnant within 4 months. And now he always trys to talk to me, and begs for me to break up with my fiance and take him back, but he has done this since the day I broke up with him. He is always texting me these messages like "Im not meant to be with her, I want to be with you." "I sware this time I'll treat you like a angel." "If I didn't love you, I wouldn't risk everything for you." And he didnt call me but maybe three times the whole 2 years we dated. And now he calls me and trys and trys. So the other day, I gave him the benifit of the doubt and I was supposed to meet up with him and hang out. He blows me off because he says he didnt have any gas, after he talked about hanging out with me ALL day and the day before that. I got pissed off and I went off on him I told him thats the reason that we'd never be together again because he ****s up to much. Now he wont talk to me and he just ignores me, but I still love him more than anything in the world, and Im so confused. If anybody could tell me what I need to do from a outside point, I'd appreciate it so much.

Hi Tricken.

Let me revise your post with only the parts in bold without all the other irrelevant stuff:

"The reason why we always broke up was because he always cheated on me. He'd try to get me back and blame everything on me. I have fallen in love with my new guy, and he proposed to me [I said yes]. [My ex] also got a new girlfriend eventually, and she got pregnant within 4 months. [He] begs for me to break up with my fiance and take him back. I was supposed to meet up with him and hang out. He blows me off because he says he didnt have any gas, after he talked about hanging out with me ALL day and the day before that. Now he wont talk to me and he just ignores me."

Read that carefully, the answer should be obvious. And by the way, he's not the only bad guy here ... you are too.

1) He's a cheater.
2) He blames YOU for his cheating ... that's incredible!
3) You accepted a marriage proposal and claim to "love" your fiance yet you agreed to meet with your ex "all day" ... for what? emotional cheating on your new fiance? Possibly sexual cheating on him if things had gone well on your day of hanging out? Why do I believe that if he had gas money (or more probably a better offer) that you would have become a cheater too?
4) He has a baby on the way but is hitting on you, probably hoping to cheat on his baby's mother with you.
5) He's trying to break up your relationship.

What a mess!!

I don't feel bad for either you or your ex ... you probably deserve each other. I DO feel bad for your fiance and your ex's girlfriend.

What on earth are you thinking??? And please don't give me the lame excuse "but I still love him more than anything in the world." Isn't that what you told your fiance when you accepted his proposal?

Sorry for being so blunt, but you need it!

Carl.

[Cain]

lol, you were willing to consider leaving your fiance for a guy that cheated on you?

Good luck with that.

[Aeradalia]

At some point your mind has to step in if for no other reason than to protect you from further harm. And by harm I mean entering into an unhealthy relationship, getting your heart broken (again), and heaven forbid... you getting pregnant or contracting some STD from your ex. How much damage are you willing to endure because 'you love him'?

Is it worth a broken heart because you love him?

Is it worth being a single mother because you love him?

Is it worth slowly dying from AIDS because you love him?

Love does not destroy... plain and simple. If there is destructive behavior then that's a sure sign THIS IS NOT LOVE.

Come to your senses before you throw your life away and hurt yourself and others... please.

[IndiReloaded]

4) He has a baby on the way but is hitting on you, probably hoping to cheat on his baby's mother with you.

Is there really any other reason you need to get the hell away from this guy?

[Cbrider]

This is 14 ways of ****** up.

If you were my fiance and I found out you did this I would kick your butt to the curb faster than you could say sorry. Carl and Aeradalia have given you some guidance to try and set you straight in a nice way, I would be livid if you were in a relationship with me.

You dodged a bullet......more than you may know.

If you want to marry the guy you're engaged to, GET AWAY from man whore and cut ALL communication with him now.

[sophie0028]

Never go for somebody you can not trust... Think over it.

[sheepingly]

Well that's just a problem within its self Trickin'...he's messed up so many times and blames you for it? That's a hint in itself that he's bad news..........and the man your going to marry.......i agree with the others...are you sure he's not just a rebound?

[bebebe]

Dear what should I do...you know exactly what to do...but I'm guessing you're not ready to let go...but you will be...but we both know you're in love by yourself...if this young man loved you, we wouldn't be having this conversation...but when you're ready to let go, you'll let go. Good Luck

[Gigabitch]

Give yourself a big, fat time-out where boys are concerned. Take a year off. Really. Tell your fiancee that you have to wait and see how you feel and that if he's still available next year, you can try again, but for now, for his sake, let him go.

As for the other one, you should cut him off and never speak to him again, and you know it. You know it! There are more red flags here than I can count on one hand and the fact that you gave him the "benefit of the doubt" is a clear indication that you are blind to them and shouldn't be trusted with your own decisions.

Just step back and get some perspective. If you could see this the way we do, you'd be appalled.