complicated and bad situation, need help!!!

[Neo(n)]

ok i have a problem with my recent ex.

im a guy btw, and this i think is important to this so i thought ide add it in here.

during our relationship i really liked her and ive always had this other girl as my best friend who has been my bestest friend for a year now.

the problem is that recently my gf broke up with me because she said the last few weeks had just felt wierd.

now a lot of stuff happened in the last few weeks, i had a house party and loads of stuff got stolen so i was feeling really down, and also at the party i ended up throwing up at least 7 times, and feeling crap and my gf was taking care of me and everyone else so she ended up having a really bad time and leaving early cos she didn't want to stay over with everyone else.

during the breakup she was saying that it had been wierd but she really really really really wanted to be really close friends, because im a really nice guy, i think thats because she did still like me its just to her it didn't feel right.

i should have just left it there but this kinda traumatised me, the break up was over the phone because it was quite late, and i had started texting my best friend (girl), now she has always been there for me, and unlike other guys im not after sex as a main thing, and infact it doesn't bother me, im after a close relationship in which i know the other person love me back.
unfortunately for me at this point the only person who seemed to really care about me was my best friend,
now my best friend, is also my first gf, and this time last year i had a massive crush on her after i realsied what ide lost a coupple months before, but shed moved on and we became friends.
i got over my crush a coupple months later, but ive always thought she was very good looking and shes the closest friend ive ever had.

Now because of the trauma from the breakup and i was texting my best friend, i got kinda confused and told me now ex that i was in love with my best friend.

this kinda meant that the whole friends think went out the window and now she doesn't want to tlk to me and told me that the break up was a good idea after all, which shows she did still like me because she obviously wasn't sure before.

now ive tryed to tlk to her about this but shes just blocking me out, i really want to explain that i made a huge mistake with this and it wasn't true but she wont listen and doesn't believe me.

i was wondering if anyone knew a way i could get through to her so i can try and sort this whole thing out, because despite the fact i know this will probally never work again i really want her back.

i have this idea that if i can get throguh to her and explain everything and stuff i might have a chance to remind her of why she liked me and possibly make something work again, but because of the metaphysical wall of hate she seems to have up she doesn't want to know, even though she doesn't know the truth but she thinks she does.

pleeeeeease help with this, i dont know how im gona get through to her.

[Neo(n)]

ive sent her a text telling her im going to leave her alone about the whole thing, as i have been trying to explain the last few days.

ive said i wanted to tlk to her and let her choose when she wants to tlk.

i hope this was a good idea, just thoguht ide post an update on the situation