She loves someone else, He's over her, I love her...

[QuietClown]

So I'm Just going to typeout pretty much every thing,
I'm always very nervous posting here as I think my problems are silly.
anyways so I got a new phone for christmas so I started talking to old friends and in particular a girl I used to date two years ago, could never really get her out of my head after i dumped her. so As i was talking I found that she was apparently still into me and shit so I gave it another shot.

we chilled at my place for a bit and man holding somone never felt so right, So after I drove her home it was all good we talked on the phone from the time I got home to when i fell asleep, shit went on like that for a bit then new years came I ended up chilling with a friend of mine and she went to a party.

I Tried to have a good time but couldn't think of anything but her, couldn't even roll a smoke (Something I can do perfectly), I was just worried sick like no messages w/e tried to blow it off but couldn't woke up with a text from her we talked for a-bit again then I got somhing that I had to read a few times. she still loved some other guy, man that shit hurt, and I'v been called heartless countless times but that hurt. probley
sounds pretty stupid but I pretty much sat there for a day thinking about her, nothing could get her out of my head. so the next morning comes and I wake up with a message on my phone; "Kay so i told the guy im in love with that well.. im in love with him and he told me he doesn't care cuz he's over me..."

So once again we talked I tried to make her feel better but there's only so much I can do. and we ended up talking for a bit again.

So I'm not quite sure what to do or what shes thinking, Do i have a chance here? should I wait a-bit, still be flirty, or what?

[Cain]

Well, it's up to you, but she's already shown that you aren't number one on her list of potential interests.

[QuietClown]

Well, it's up to you, but she's already shown that you aren't number one on her list of potential interests.

Yea,
But should I go about changing this?
I juat don't want to seem pushy you know?

[Cain]

What are you going to change? No matter what, you weren't the number one person on her list. Even if you are able to get her to date you, you are still number two at best.

What if you both started dating and the first guy realizes he actually does love her and tells her? Do you think she'd stay with you or go with this guy?

[QuietClown]

What are you going to change? No matter what, you weren't the number one person on her list. Even if you are able to get her to date you, you are still number two at best.

What if you both started dating and the first guy realizes he actually does love her and tells her? Do you think she'd stay with you or go with this guy?

Not what I wanted to hear,
but its truth.
thanks.

[Only-virgins]

Not what I wanted to hear,
but its truth.
thanks.

You know, others who come to this site and ask for advice seriously should learn from this guy here. Best visitor with a problem EVER.

[Mallory]

I think that men always want to feel number one and that they probably won't get over the thought that she might want someone else more.
BUT I think that you could be her number one, once she starts having a relationship with you. If you are having a happy relationship she has no reason to leave you for someone else, and she will as well has doubts that this other guy might drop her again.

[QuietClown]

Only-virgins-
Why? people often do the " I have a question, but i have the answer." thing on here?

Mallory-
You're right, most men don't like being number 2...
me being one it drives me crazy that I'm number 2 on her list,
that being said, she has not had a relationship with this guy for over two years, and he treated her like shit... (this is where I really don't know how females work, why would you want someone that treats you badly?) Would it really be worth my time to try this, I mean I'd love to but as cain said really what are my chances shes going to sick with me and not just go back to the other guy? I mean should I go for it and risk being hurt again, or just get on with life?

[Cain]

Only-virgins-
Why? people often do the " I have a question, but i have the answer." thing on here?

But if they are given the kind of answer they don't want to hear, they'll become defensive and either argue or defend why our answer is wrong. You accepted it. I respect that.

[carl1222]

Only-virgins-
Why? people often do the " I have a question, but i have the answer." thing on here?

Mallory-
You're right, most men don't like being number 2...
me being one it drives me crazy that I'm number 2 on her list,
that being said, she has not had a relationship with this guy for over two years, and he treated her like shit... (this is where I really don't know how females work, why would you want someone that treats you badly?) Would it really be worth my time to try this, I mean I'd love to but as cain said really what are my chances shes going to stick with me and not just go back to the other guy? I mean should I go for it and risk being hurt again, or just get on with life?

Your chances are exactly the same as her ex's chances of changing his mind and wanting her back.

You're putting your future happiness totally in the hands of a stranger ... her ex.

I wouldn't do it.

Carl.

[Mallory]

If I were you I'd just try to start a relationship with her no matter what. You were the one that dumped her before when you had a relationship with her so how can SHE now that YOU won't do it again? Nobody knows what happens in the future.
I'd just take the risk, cause maybe you are missing a chance for a happy relationship.
And I would leave the no 1, no 2 talk aside. Preferences like these are not constant. With a relationship things start to change a lot.

And its not that girls like the asshole-types. But sometimes the men acting like assholes are a bit more manly and being more manly makes them more attractive. Its not the asshole-acting that makes them attractive but the testosterone-level and women seem to just know about it.

My boyfriend is manly and supersweet - just the right combination. But I dated assholes in the past as well. I told myself that they are not good for me but there still was that attraction that you just can't fight.

[Cain]

I think it's still a little too early for him to jump into a relationship with her. She was so in love with her ex that she was willing to throw things away with this guy in order to get back with the ex, but since he didn't want her now she's ready to move on?

Sorry, but I wouldn't chance it. I think she's not over the ex and if he comes back wanting her to be with him, you'll likely be dumped to the side just as you were before.

[QuietClown]

I think it's still a little too early for him to jump into a relationship with her. She was so in love with her ex that she was willing to throw things away with this guy in order to get back with the ex, but since he didn't want her now she's ready to move on?

Sorry, but I wouldn't chance it. I think she's not over the ex and if he comes back wanting her to be with him, you'll likely be dumped to the side just as you were before.

This Is what I'm thinking,
I think I will go for it, but in good time,