Advice needed

[guy21]

Background:
Me and my ex dated for 4 years. We are both now 21. We had a child that will be two years old in June. She broke up with me about two months ago. Basically, I want her back. During out relationship we've also talked about getting married.

Breakup Reasons:
I did not pay her enough attention and did not seem passionate enough for her. These are things that I know can be fixed, but she does not feel so.

Her feelings:
She says she is not in love with me anymore. But still loves me. She says we lost that "spark."

After the breakup:
I poured my heart out to her but that did not change anything. She is now interested in this other guy, but he will not be moving into our state until five months or so. Here's a little information about this other guy. She has known him for a long time. He just happened to be visiting his parents for Christmas. All of a sudden they hang out and now she's in love with him. So she says, but whatever. My opinion is that he happened to come at the right time when things between is was not so good. She says she does not know what she wants right now, but she knows she does not want to be with me right now. She said that does not mean that we may not have a future together, but not right now.

We have still been talking via messenger. We went out to the movies and out to eat a couple times. We've hugged/kissed. A couple days ago when we talked via messenger, it was about 1am or so. She invited me to her house. I do not have to say what happened when I got there, but you know the rest. I asked her does me hanging out with her make me seem like a friend she replied yes. I made a mistake last night after we went out by bringing up our relationship. I asked her what her intentions were by hanging out with me and doing things with me and she said she did not know. I asked her if she was just hanging out with me until this other person moves here and she said no. She does not know what she is doing, that she is not even sure about the other guy. I asked if that if she ever wanted me back would she be the one to let me know. She said "yes".

Questions I have:
Why would she hug/kiss/other things with me if she does want to be with me?
I know most people say that the way to go is "No Contact", but the reason we broke up is because I did not pay her enough attention, so I do not think "NC" will work".
Best way to go about getting her back in my life? (If you think there is a chance?)
I want to try my best to show her that we could have a great relationship despite what she thinks, but I do not want to pressure her or forcing her.

If you need any more information from me, just let me know.

[Mallory]

To me it looks as if she wants that other guy, but since he is not available right now she gets the hugging, kissing etc. from you, because she still has needs and she is somehow used to you and you are available. It does not mean though that she really wants to have a relationship with you. She might be telling you that you two might be together again in the future, because she might not be sure about that other guy and so she tries to keep you as a plan B.

You could either be hurt now and turn your back on her, or you try to play a trick on her to get her back.

I was in a situation once where I wasn't sure if I want to get back together with my boyfriend that I left. We were in touch and as far as I remember there was a bit of flirting going on but it just wasn't serious and I did not have enough interest. Suddenly I found out that he was starting to date another girl and strangely that made me see what I might lose and it made me want him back. We got together again and our relationship was better than before (well first time wasn't so serious anyways)

If you want her back badly then maybe you should tell her you started dating someone else, maybe it will her jealous and she wants you back.