What's the deal with babies?

[Junket]

I feel like people my age, 'specially down here are starting to reproduce.

I mean, I feel the urge to ejaculate in a woman without protection as much as the next guy, but kids? I don't know if I'd ever want kids.

Here's a question to the mothers: Did you always want to have a kid? Did your partner want to have a kid?

Or was it just the "next logical step", in that dating>marriage>children?

Do you think your marriage would have continued had you not been able to have your own children?

I just realized that we have no fathers in here...

To everyone else, what are your feelings on reproduction and/or adoption?

[vashti]

People in your age range are too young to reproduce, IMO.

As for me, I knew I wanted at least one baby. My husband had to have a vasectomy reveresed as a condition for marrriage, so I guess you could say he would have been fine with no more.

I think adoption is a wonderful option for people who don't feel a need to have blood ties.

[1averagejoe]

Kids...only seem appealing when I'm financially stable and married.

Adoption...something I would consider if we could not have kids.

[ecojeanne]

funny i never thought about having kids ever ever, my life was always way too chaotic with my travelling and moving from different careers all over the place until recently it has crossed my mind, but i still think i'm 16 and way to young! i know logically i should have matured a bit more by now but i do feel sometimes like 'what was i thinking when i bought my house and got stuck with a mortgage!' i dunno i still feel too young and i'm 32, i can't explain that.

[Mish]

I think it's something everyone starts to think about when they get older as they begin to prepare for the future. At 20 the question seems miles away, but after 20s are up people usually realize there's not a lot of time left to make that decision and the decision one way or the other bears a lot of consequences. On the one hand there's the burden of having a child and all of the responsibilities and hardships that come with it. On the other hand a prospect of not having anyone to pass what you've spent your entire life gathering (skills, experience, knowledge, possessions). Other issues come up, loneliness at old age, not having anyone support you, not having that sense of accomplishment in life in old age that people who had children have.

Whichever way you look at it, having or not having kids is not an easy decision to make.

[Aeradalia]

I never thought I'd want to have kids either... I was even married and did reach a point where having children was feasible... but still I did not sense anything other than indifference to the idea.

Now that I'm in this new relationship I can feel the desire to have children go from a mere novelty (oh gee that would be great 'someday') to something that is slowly being wanted more and more as time progresses.

I feel like some part of my mind has finally 'clicked' and I am filled with the imperative need to put my life in order. Never did I have this much ambition and motivation before... it's very strange. And because of it... things in my life are actually working out for the better - very noticeable improvements, in spite of all the bad that has happened in recent years. I want to better myself...

Even my boyfriend has brought up the idea of children a few times.. on his own... and discussed the need to have his life situated. And now he's leaving to work hard at hopefully paying off his debts and bring back some extra revenue for his own peace of mind.

I don't know why I care to have children, when I didn't before... or why I care to want to have them with him and no one else. All I know is there is a part of me that has become so terribly motivated in piecing my life back together... and desires to eventually piece a life together with him.

All I know is when I think of the idea of having children with him... it brings about a feeling of happiness and some form of accomplishment. It inspires me to want to do more things in my life that make me happy... inspires me to want to do more with my life.

I'm sorry... I wish I could explain it better, but this is all still new to me.

[Illusional]

i think for most of the time, babies are never planned. you just shoot and then you get that message... "honey, i'm pregnant"... and then you deal with it.

raverboy

[squirrley]

I certainly didn't plan on having a child at 18, but today Im glad it happened that early because I feel young enough to still do things in my life. My husband never wanted children and I was fine with it because for 16 yrs I was a single mom, I was over it by then! I bet there are more men who feel they don't want children than women. There are times I feel like I may want another baby, but I know thats my biological clock and in my head and heart I dont want to go through it again.

If I couldnt have children of my own, Id go to adoption.

[lesa]

If my ex didn't want kids I would have been married by now. I didn't want kids and still don't. Hopefully I will get the urge before it's too late lol. I'm beginning to doubt that.

Did you have a pregnancy scare, Frasbee? Two baby questions thread I've noticed recently.

[IndiReloaded]

Look at who is having babies, tho, Fras? I would take a hard look at their age and lifestyle before deciding whether having kids is a good choice or not.

Like Vash said, IMO also, you are too young. I didn't have my son until we were married for 5 years. I was almost 30. There is lots to be said for having your finances, etc in order before having kids. You can focus on them a lot better, I think.

Make lots of $$$$ Fras, then you can have all the kids you want.

[Aeradalia]

I blame instincts on the part of females and whoops on the part of males... add that together, you're bound to end up with a kid.

I'm hoping these instincts I feel die down enough so that they won't be trouble later on - or I control them better... whichever happens first..

[IndiReloaded]

I think this is much less of an issue now with reliable birth control. If both partners take responsibility (yes, guys, your gal CAN forget to take her pill), then accidents are nearly impossible.

[TheTooya]

Hmm, I am 21 and know I am wayyy too young to have a kid (or think of having one at this point.) The people that have kids below the age of 20... the most I can say to that is g'luck =S

I'd think 26/27+ would be a "safe" age to have a child. 18-22 We are growing mentally (with or without college.) 22+ We are on our feet making a living for ourselves (if not before then).

I'd consider my financial stability loooong before having a kid "/

[Junket]

No, no pregnancy scare.

I got a coworker who has one on the way, and he's already raising his fiances' 2 kids, too. I think he's 24 or 25.

Same goes for another coworker.

They're black, born and raise in the poorer areas of New Orleans, which in itself isn't saying much. It's pretty common down here, and they keep askin' me when I'm gonna get married to my girlfriend and when we're gonna have kids.

But one only has to glance at their tool totes and pouches and compare it to mine, to see where their money is going elsewhere.

Plus, I like my freedom. Enjoy doing what I do, and don't want to have to worry about the life and well being of a dependent before I decide to pick up and move.

[Indignant]

the older you get, the less patience you will have to raise your child. you might not be able to enjoy and bond with your kids as much.