I'm boring so why does she still want to hang out with me?

[carl1222]

Qualia, in another thread you said ...

"What are some basic guidelines in finding love? Well since I've never been in love it would be like the blind leading the blind but I think I have some thoughts and ideas on the subject.. ::

As human beings we are limited mortals with limited resources, limited time, energy and life. So it is imperative that we PRIORITIZE. What is MOST important to me in my life? When push comes to shove what will I always put as NUMBER ONE in my life? What will not be "offloaded" during times when I have to choose between LOVE and something else? What will I sacrifice for and what will I NOT sacrifice? In order to know the answers to this we must first deeply introspectively come to terms with knowing intimately ourselves and our real desires, goals, and priorities in life, who we really are, what we really want, etc etc...

We also need to list, define, enumerate, qualitate, quantitate, categorize, prioritize, and hierarchize these different range of human emotions and know what is most important truly to us. To me it makes sense to put LOVE above all else because I have figured out LOVE is the stronger bond of them all..."

There you suggest, even demand, rational thought ... but here you suggest that love is no more than addiction to phenylethylamines.

Which is it?

Carl.

[qualia1234]

Qualia, in another thread you said ...

"What are some basic guidelines in finding love? Well since I've never been in love it would be like the blind leading the blind but I think I have some thoughts and ideas on the subject.. ::

As human beings we are limited mortals with limited resources, limited time, energy and life. So it is imperative that we PRIORITIZE. What is MOST important to me in my life? When push comes to shove what will I always put as NUMBER ONE in my life? What will not be "offloaded" during times when I have to choose between LOVE and something else? What will I sacrifice for and what will I NOT sacrifice? In order to know the answers to this we must first deeply introspectively come to terms with knowing intimately ourselves and our real desires, goals, and priorities in life, who we really are, what we really want, etc etc...

We also need to list, define, enumerate, qualitate, quantitate, categorize, prioritize, and hierarchize these different range of human emotions and know what is most important truly to us. To me it makes sense to put LOVE above all else because I have figured out LOVE is the stronger bond of them all..."

There you suggest, even demand, rational thought ... but here you suggest that love is no more than addiction to phenylethylamines.

Which is it?

Carl.

have you heard of the Triune brain model? The neocortex is sometimes hijacked by the limbic system and the reptilian brain... Happens to everyone I am no exception..

[carl1222]

have you heard of the Triune brain model? The neocortex is sometimes hijacked by the limbic system and the reptilian brain... Happens to everyone I am no exception..

I don't mean to be confrontational, qualia. And I fully understand the chemistry of attraction ... although I am impressed by your scientific knowledge of the primative human brain.

One reason "philosophers" (as well as pseudo philosophers) leave me cold is their unshakable belief that they have all the answers.

I agree that a totally unworthy person can make you horny. But there are many exceptions to the notion that we all seek our equals in looks to the exclusion of so many other important factors that I've seen come into play many times.

So yes, physical attraction is often an on/off switch to romantic attraction, but I don't agree you can determine this by comparing pictures!

Carl.

[qualia1234]

I don't mean to be confrontational, qualia. And I fully understand the chemistry of attraction ... although I am impressed by your scientific knowledge of the primative human brain.

One reason "philosophers" (as well as pseudo philosophers) leave me cold is their unshakable belief that they have all the answers.

I agree that a totally unworthy person can make you horny. But there are many exceptions to the notion that we all seek our equals in looks to the exclusion of so many other important factors that I've seen come into play many times.

So yes, physical attraction is often an on/off switch to romantic attraction, but I don't agree you can determine this by comparing pictures!

Carl.

Maybe "I" cannot determine it accurate but it does not mean 'it' "CANNOT BE DETERMINED"... Are you aware of the "blue brain project"? The human brain is a finite state machine and at its core is just as "predictable" as any other physical process in the universe; given that we know the complete laws of physics and have the raw processing power to do exhaustive simulation/calculation of both the brains of the OP and the female the OP is interesting in, we can predict with 100% certainty EXACTLY what he/she likes/dislikes/ or the course of actions that they will do...

No mortal will have all the answers, but that doesn't mean we cannot have the bigger picture correct and it doesn't mean all the answers are not there... They are. No Philosophy or abracadabra or funny monkey business required...

[IndiReloaded]

Or that Qualia would somehow be uniquely able to make such a judgement.

BTW, Qualia, if you are going to claim something is scientific, I'd like to see references to *peer reviewed* published studies. Or links to same, they are generally available on primary researchers websites these days. Otherwise, I am quite prepared to call you full of shit. I notice you haven't responded to me in that other thread. I guess you have a problem when someone has actually read the sources of the ideas you mention and judged them unscientific.

Personally, I think you watch too much 'What The Bleep Do We Know', which was another awful, psuedoscience movie.

And, one request for a pic is enough. Perhaps you should consider the OP doesn't WANT to post a pic if they are ignoring your demand.

[IndiReloaded]

have you heard of the Triune brain model? The neocortex is sometimes hijacked by the limbic system and the reptilian brain... Happens to everyone I am no exception..

So what tho? For this to be a useful statement, you would need to be able to explain the conditions under which this happens, how this relates to the OPs question, and make some kind of prediction.

Anyone can look up a bunch of terms on wikipedia. Are you a scientist, Qualia?

[qualia1234]

Or that Qualia would somehow be uniquely able to make such a judgement.

BTW, Qualia, if you are going to claim something is scientific, I'd like to see references to *peer reviewed* published studies. Or links to same, they are generally available on primary researchers websites these days. Otherwise, I am quite prepared to call you full of shit. I notice you haven't responded to me in that other thread. I guess you have a problem when someone has actually read the sources of the ideas you mention and judged them unscientific.

Personally, I think you watch too much 'What The Bleep Do We Know', which was another awful, psuedoscience movie.

And, one request for a pic is enough. Perhaps you should consider the OP doesn't WANT to post a pic if they are ignoring your demand.

Assortative Mating and Marital Quality in Newlyweds:. A Couple-Centered Approach
[url]http://www.apa.org/journals/releases/psp882304.pdf[/url]

PATTERNS AND UNIVERSALS OF ADULT ROMANTIC. ATTACHMENT ACROSS 62 CULTURAL REGIONS
[url]http://www.bradley.edu/academics/las/psy/facstaff/schmitt/documents/schmitt.etal.2004.romatt.jccp_000.pdf[/url]

Stated Versus Revealed Mate Preferences
[url]http://sites.google.com/site/qualia1234/Home/UnpublishedManuscriptKurzbanWeeden20.pdf?attredire cts=0[/url]

Personality, Family History, and Competence in Early Adult Romantic Relationships
[url]http://sites.google.com/site/qualia1234/Home/psp883562.pdf?attredirects=0[/url]

Ideal Mate Personality Concepts and Compatibility in Close Relationships: A Longitudinal Analysis
[url]www.unige.ch/fapse/emotion/members/zentner/pdf/IdealMatePersonality.pdf[/url]

[carl1222]

Maybe "I" cannot determine it accurate but it does not mean 'it' "CANNOT BE DETERMINED"... Are you aware of the "blue brain project"? The human brain is a finite state machine and at its core is just as "predictable" as any other physical process in the universe; given that we know the complete laws of physics and have the raw processing power to do exhaustive simulation/calculation of both the brains of the OP and the female the OP is interesting in, we can predict with 100% certainty EXACTLY what he/she likes/dislikes/ or the course of actions that they will do...

No mortal will have all the answers, but that doesn't mean we cannot have the bigger picture correct and it doesn't mean all the answers are not there... They are. No Philosophy or abracadabra or funny monkey business required...

Give me a break on the statement bolded above! Physicists probably know less about the Theory of Everything than Einstein knew 100 years ago! When something isn't explained ... just add another dimension! hahahaha. Eventually, someone will discover a simple unifying theory that will make 20th century physics laughable despite our technological achievements. Isaac Newton knew "everything" about physics centuries ago ... oh, no wait ... E=Mc squared! OOPS. At least Ptolemy antricipated that Copernicus might be right (or at least Ptolemy may be wrong) ... modern physicists have just become way too conceited.

My point is that there is a whole range of attractions not precisely guided by "matching up" objective notions of sexiness. And also that for many (especially women) attraction is more than a symmetrical face and an archetypical body shape.

Carl.

[qualia1234]

Give me a break on the statement bolded above! Physicists probably know less about the Theory of Everything than Einstein knew 100 years ago! When something isn't explained ... just add another dimension! hahahaha. Eventually, someone will discover a simple unifying theory that will make 20th century physics laughable despite our technological achievements. Isaac Newton knew "everything" about physics centuries ago ... oh, no wait ... E=Mc squared! OOPS. At least Ptolemy antricipated that Copernicus might be right (or at least he may be wrong) ... modern physicists have just become way too conceited.

My point is that there is a whole range of attractions not precisely guided by "matching up" objective notions of sexiness. And also that for many (especially women) attraction is more than a symmetrical face and an archetypical body shape.

Carl.

Well if it makes you feel more adequate to adopt such a belief system then that is your 'free choice'

[IndiReloaded]

Qualia, he's got you there. That is an obviously untrue statement. You can't know what you don't know. I ask again, are you a scientist?

[carl1222]

Well if it makes you feel more adequate to adopt such a belief system then that is your 'free choice'

No, it's my experience, qualia.

And you have inadvertantly exposed my triumvirate of bodies of knowledge starting with "P" that I don't respect because of their conceits.

Philosophy, Physics and Psychology (although I must admit, I have nothing against Podiatrists or Plumbers).

You don't believe what I believe, so what I believe must be due to a mental defect or a self-serving delusion.

You're gonna have to argue better than that, qualia!

Carl.


.

[IndiReloaded]

I've skimmed some of the papers, interesting. But a LOT of variability in the results and some of the correlations aren't that strong. Also problems with sampling, lack of longterm marriages, older ppl. As usual, these psych studies seem to be done on college students. I understand why, but this is a problem with these kinds of studies. I'm OLD, I want to know what applies to ME.

Anyway, its interesting that ppl are studying this stuff. OV should have a look, I already mentioned the Chicago neuroscience group to him.

[carl1222]

ps ... with a physical brain model, I don't really have "free choice" do I?

[qualia1234]

No, it's my experience, qualia.

And you have inadvertantly exposed my triumvirate of bodies of knowledge starting with "P" that I don't respect because of their conceits.

Philosophy, Physics and Psychology.

You don't believe what I believe, so what I believe must be due to a mental defect or a self-serving delusion.

You're gonna have to argue better than that, qualia!

Carl.


.

I could but I really don't care to. Again I posted in this thread originally with the intent to help out the OP and his "predicament".. Being someone of also "average" physical looks I can certainly understand and emphasize with his situation.. I believe if he is willing (if not thats perfectly fine), then posting pictures will help get external reference and opinions of whether or not the girl is so far out of his league... something you don't agree with.. I don't have to prove anything to anyone. If the OP wants my help he will indicate as such, if not then no. Simple as that.

[carl1222]

I could but I really don't care to. Again I posted in this thread originally with the intent to help out the OP and his "predicament".. Being someone of also "average" physical looks I can certainly understand and emphasize with his situation.. I believe if he is willing (if not thats perfectly fine), then posting pictures will help get external reference and opinions of whether or not the girl is so far out of his league... something you don't agree with.. I don't have to prove anything to anyone. If the OP wants my help he will indicate as such, if not then no. Simple as that.

Fair enough, qualia. I guess my biggest objection to your "rate by looks" suggestion is that I have seen many cases otherwise.

One that sticks out in my mind was a friend in High School. He was less than attractive, less than average even. He was gangly, bad hair on a good hair day, and had a bad complection. Yet he could attract any woman he wanted ... real hotties ... because he had enormous CONFIDENCE.

So while I can appreciate the plight of the "average" in looks, I just wonder whether they fail because of their looks or because of their belief that they are not worthy because of them.

Oops .. that was Psychology ... sorry!

Carl.