Not sure which forum to post this in....its for both sexes.

[SYoungGuy]

I decided to post this in the "ask a female" forum instead of the male, because i have a feeling that a woman would respond better to my question

Recently i made a mistake, and said some things to a girl that i deeply care about. I said the wrong things, i went on a poor judgment and told her that she would be better off without me, because i didnt want to hurt her. After i said that, i believed i hurt her more than i thought i originally would have.

There were a series of texts and these are the main two that ask my question.

My Text

"Please be honest. Did you ever or do you feel as if you need to forget about me, yes or no? If no than you continue to put a smile upon my face, but if yes i will never attempt to talk to you again for your sake. But you would have to answer some questions to me first."

Her reply

"I am not trying to forget you, i don't want to, it's just knowing that you're trying to not make me feel awkward, makes me feel awkward."

My Question

My question is just me not understanding. When she says "it's just knowing that you're trying to not make me feel awkward, makes me feel awkward" what does she mean?

Is it like, Because i think it is awkward for her, makes her wonder if i really know her? I am not understanding, is it that i should know that she loves me(uncertain about this, i have had hinters but i'd say only 80% sure she does) and that i should automatically come out and tell her how much she means to me?


If anyone could help me with some guidance?

[Junket]

I decided to post this in the "ask a female" forum instead of the male, because i have a feeling that a woman would respond better to my question

Recently i made a mistake, and said some things to a girl that i deeply care about. I said the wrong things, i went on a poor judgment and told her that she would be better off without me, because i didnt want to hurt her. After i said that, i believed i hurt her more than i thought i originally would have.

There were a series of texts and these are the main two that ask my question.

My Text

"Please be honest. Did you ever or do you feel as if you need to forget about me, yes or no? If no than you continue to put a smile upon my face, but if yes i will never attempt to talk to you again for your sake. But you would have to answer some questions to me first."

Her reply

"I am not trying to forget you, i don't want to, it's just knowing that you're trying to not make me feel awkward, makes me feel awkward."

My Question

My question is just me not understanding. When she says "it's just knowing that you're trying to not make me feel awkward, makes me feel awkward" what does she mean?

Is it like, Because i think it is awkward for her, makes her wonder if i really know her? I am not understanding, is it that i should know that she loves me(uncertain about this, i have had hinters but i'd say only 80% sure she does) and that i should automatically come out and tell her how much she means to me?


If anyone could help me with some guidance?

Quoted in full before you go back and edit it all away again...

To the subject at hand.

Despite my lack of faith in this going where you clearly want it to go, this is what you should do, for your own peace of mind.

Lay out exactly how you feel, and ask her to do the same. If it's all mutual, happy with rainbows, fantastic, you guys can give it a shot.

If it's not then you gotta give up your crusade and either accept that you'll be nothing more than a "friend" to her. And no, the whole "if I stick around and show her how great I am" thing doesn't work. Unfortunately for most guys. In which case you should just fade away/limit or cut all contact with her and move on.

[SYoungGuy]

Quoted in full before you go back and edit it all away again...

To the subject at hand.

Despite my lack of faith in this going where you clearly want it to go, this is what you should do, for your own peace of mind.

Lay out exactly how you feel, and ask her to do the same. If it's all mutual, happy with rainbows, fantastic, you guys can give it a shot.

If it's not then you gotta give up your crusade and either accept that you'll be nothing more than a "friend" to her. And no, the whole "if I stick around and show her how great I am" thing doesn't work. Unfortunately for most guys. In which case you should just fade away/limit or cut all contact with her and move on.

Hmm i take all your stuff into consideration, but after i think about it i go the opposite way, because i am a fighter, i will fight for what i believe is true.

And it is never about me, you may disagree with me, but i always put others before myself regardless of color/sex/race/social class i dont care who it is, i consider them all as a better person than I. I do not value much anything in life, all i want out of life is to find love(which i honestly think i have, regardless of what you had said) and to have children i could care for. I am not materialistic what so ever, i enjoy the small things in life.

But to get back to the point of the original question of:

My question is just me not understanding. When she says "it's just knowing that you're trying to not make me feel awkward, makes me feel awkward" what does she mean?

If you do not have a reply to this question and this question only, i would ask for you to please not reply in this little thread again?

Once again you will most likely disregard my wishes, but i will respect you still, have no doubt in that.

[IndiReloaded]

Crash and burn man, full flame on. Go for it, its the only way you'll move past this.

But come and post your result, for the future posters with a similar issue.

Good luck.

Oh, and what she means is: she's uncomfortable and confused at the fact you guys can't seem to have an open, honest conversation. So go have one.

[Junket]

These young guys always want to "fight".

Didn't I just have this conversation with that 17 year old?

Their mothers need to teach them that shit doesn't work.

[Lite]

Show her the torch you're carrying, if she's not impressed with the size of it, let alone the fact that you've turned into a one-armed version of Popeye thinking of her... Er wait, that my skeeve her.

[IndiReloaded]

These young guys always want to "fight".

Didn't I just have this conversation with that 17 year old?

Their mothers need to teach them that shit doesn't work.

Some ppl need to learn by doing, sadly.

[Lite]

Some ppl need to learn by doing, sadly.

Mothers need to know not to let their children watch bad 80's romance movies starring John Cusack that feature trenchcoats and boomboxes.

[IndiReloaded]

Mine is currently watching stuff get blown up in MythBusters. Hope that works for you guys.

[Lite]

Mine is currently watching stuff get blown up in MythBusters. Hope that works for you guys.

Ah, you're teaching him to love geek porn early in life. Good woman. Mmm Kari...

[SYoungGuy]

These young guys always want to "fight".

Didn't I just have this conversation with that 17 year old?

Their mothers need to teach them that shit doesn't work.

i could be an asshole, and say somthing that would get you irritated, but because i am not the guy you make me out to be, i will do no such thing.

Do not get me wrong i have gotten into fights, i am a bigger guy i had an advantage over others, but i saw no upside to it, so will never raise a fist for the sake of myself again, will only do so if it were to protect somebody else.

Now what i was saying about "fighting" is that i do not give up easily, i do not give in to such a weakness. I will not let thoughts ponder in my mind and destroy me, instead i will fight the thoughts back until i know for a fact that it is 100% true. That is it i do not think i am a "tough-guy". I just dont give in as easily as you would. I fight for what i believe in and know is true.

This woman i know is different than all others, i wish you would realize that not everyone out there is to hurt you bro. She amazes me with everything she does, she has a higher class background than me, have no doubt she is out of my league, but she as well as i enjoy the little things in life, she does not let material shit corrupt her. You just have misjudgment of who she really is, and automatically assume stuff you are not certain about. Is it possible she may have never been put into this situation before? and that she is confused? or worried? because there is a great distance between us.

I have done stuff for her that i have never done with or for any other female. I sang to her, a song with high-pitched vocals(keep in mind that i have an extremely deep voice) somthing that i would never thought of doing for anyone. I have opened up to her, i hid my feelings for the longest time. I give her all my heart bro, she has opened me up, and showed me a path i have never would have imagined would be so geat. Once again i have not met her, at first i had no image of her all i had was a voice and thoughts. That is how i know i truly love this girl for who she is, and not what she looks like. She given me multiple pictures of her to show me what she looks like, i told her that she is beautiful, because she is, but that is not going to affect the feelings i have for her already.

None of this made sense at first man, i would have never seen this side of me, if it wasnt for her, and i thank her for every little bit she has done for me. we have had PS, and it was by far better than all my actual experiences in love making, because i know this girl actually means somthing to me.

But hey judge me how you want, you may think im in over my head, but i will not give up until proven wrong.


I do not see why you would not hesitate to give in so quickly for what you believe is right. Did you have bad relationships in your past? But from all the other posts i have seen you post, excuse me if im wrong, but it seems that you are a dog, and think with your dick, not your brain.

Do not classify me as a "young boy", yes i am young but that does not describe fully of who i am. I do not think like all other guys my age

Sorry if this was an eyesore for you, i just have to say what i mean, sorry if i disrespected you in anyway.

[SYoungGuy]

This may be taken the wrong way, but If i wanted the same love-life that the average couple has, i see no point in getting involved in any relations, i would only see that as self-fufillment?

See i am different from the typical american society. I would go above and beyond to do somthing for the person i loved, i would not plan out love, i would let it just happen. Which is what did happen between me and her, i say this because at first i openly admit i was not attracted to her, she opened up to me, she was exactly what i am looking for. I said this before bro she just recently had a BMT surgery, and had a 20% chance of actually waking up and a 10% chance of waking up functioning normal. Needless to say that was back on Octber 14th 2008 and she is alive and energetic. I asked her what was the last thing she remembered before she went into surgery, and she said it was your voice telling me "everything will be okay". This hit me hard emotionally and than i began to think "what if".





This may be a lie you may think i am a lie, but i stand for what i believe in, and i believe that this is the real deal. She helps me in the simplest ways, and means much to me. She says the same thing, i think she just may be confused because of the circumstances.



If this is not love, maybe i am destined to be single, or maybe i am better off going to a 3rd world country where love actually has a true meaning, instead of being in a american society where everybody thinks alike.

[IndiReloaded]

Have you ever met this woman in person? Please answer, it matters.

[ecojeanne]

See i am different from the typical american society. I would go above and beyond to do somthing for the person i loved, i would not plan out love, i would let it just happen.

i guess you must be one of those 'nice guys'. you think you are different to everyone? how special are you? you're unique just like everyone else my dear. i think you might be watching too many hollywood movies tbh

[SYoungGuy]

Have you ever met this woman in person? Please answer, it matters.

sorry if i was not clear on that before, but the answer is no, no we have not.

Now please do not go on a common misjudgment of oh its over the internet it would never work out. People tell me i was never capable of accomplishing things, i have proved them wrong. My own flesh and blood told me i would be dead or in prison by the time i turned 18, because of the area i grew up in, and the people i used to hang out with.

You should never tell somebody they cannot accomplish somthing because of the statistics of the circumstances. like in the last post before this one i said she only had a 10% of living normally the way before she had her BMT. Now if i told her to rely on statistics to control her fate, do you think she would have been prepared for the surgery? I told her that if she wanted to live normally from the surgery, she could, she just needed the heart to carry her throughout the event.



Once again i may be wrong, next thing i know your going to bring up statistics or somthing like that, but numbers mean nothing to me.

i will listen to your advice, but i may not take your advice.