Should I work together with my ex?

[moonriverlove]

I know it is a stupid question but I still can't convince myself.

So here is the thing. My ex broke up with me several months ago. It has been very very hard for me. But right now I think I emotionally accept the fact. No more tears, only little sadness. I clearly know that it's impossible that we could get back together and I don't actually want get back with him either. But I don't feel I am completely over him and the relationship. I still miss him, the good things we share in the past.

I sign up a volunteer work, where I will meet with him and work together with him. Should I really do this? I want to do the work but I don't want to torture myself. What do you guys think?

FYI: after the breakup, we basically keep the no contact rule. but he request to be friend on my facebook again, after i deleted him for months. and i accept it.. Crap!! Mistake 1! Then, i send him an email wishing happy new year. Mistake 2! and he replied saying he is still thinking of me and hope me doing well.

[moonriverlove]

actually, I feel kind angry with the " I am still think of u" What the hell?? How does he has the nerve to say this? Show pity to me? So he thought the " still think of " will make me feel better and make up his mistake? I even wish he had never shown up in my life and will never again.

[Charlie Boy II]

haha I think you answered your own question with your little follow up post. You clearly shouldn't be anywhere near the guy.

[moonriverlove]

yes. i feel like deep down, i don't want to be around him. But I just couldn't convince myself completely. That's why i am posting. maybe u guys can help me?

[moonriverlove]

on his facebook, it is said, besides the economy, it was a good year.

You guys couldn't imagine how hurt i was when i saw this.. The breakup probably didn't cost him one single drop of tear... I shouldn't be with him in the beginning. I feel I am such a fool((

[sthforreal]

on his facebook, it is said, besides the economy, it was a good year.

You guys couldn't imagine how hurt i was when i saw this.. The breakup probably didn't cost him one single drop of tear... I shouldn't be with him in the beginning. I feel I am such a fool((

He just gave you another good reason to get over him right there. I understand how we get sensitive and paranoid with words especially after breakups, sometimes we read into things a little too much but I think this is normal. It's just a phase while you're going through a healing process. My ex told me the exact same thing - "I still think of you/I still miss you" after the breakup. Well, he cheated on me and so I got really angry when he said that. As for the "besides the economy, it was a good year" saying, sometimes we would hope everyone else was as sensitive as we were, but this is impossible. I can relate. My horrible ex acted just like him after our breakup, I got angry everytime I talked to him. (I cut all contact with him now, and I'm way happier) It's like breaking up isn't a big deal to him, he can live with or without me. That sort of made me feel like a fool too but in time you'll feel nothing towards all his words. Only time can heal. I hate saying this and I also hate hearing this but IT'S TRUE!

My suggestion is to remove him from your friend list again and so you don't have to put up with his heartless words.

[swargolet]

This is exactly why you should try and cut ALL contact. Remove him as a facebook friend. All you will do is keep going on there and finding small things that will affect you. If volunteering is a big part of your life but your ex is at the same place then find a different place.

I'm not the best at cutting contact with my ex but I know it is the right thing to do. You even realize it is the bst thing to do, it is just extremely hard, so yes the first step is removing him as a facebook friend so you can no longer view his profile.

[TeeDub]

It is absolutely impossible for you to be around him and not feel anything. The same is true for him.

You'll both do something from time to time that will trigger a past memory. Those memories have emotions attached to them and if you're absolutely certain that you don't want the relationship or the memories to be active, you need to go find somewhere else to do your volunteer work.