A Romance Directed by David Lynch-- HELP

[TngldUpinBlue]

I'm new to the forum, folks, so I'm going to go about this the best way I know how.

One of my hobbies is writing, so you'll forgive me if this first post is a little long.

I love her, she says she loves me. We've said it on various occasions. We are compatible. Her family loves me, I love her family. We would do what we called the 'funnest day evers.' We never slept together, but did pretty much everything else.

She drops a bomb on me about a month and a half ago- right after an intimate moment- and says she 'can't do this.' I reluctantly say, 'fine' and we leave for the evening...but not before I stare her in the eyes, not saying anything, but nodding my head. She replied, 'me too.' That was a deep moment.

After that we went on behaving normally. We'd flirt. We'd hang out all the time. On occasion we'd kiss. It was like we were together, but not. And, frankly, I got a little fed up with it.

My New Year's resolution was to cut all ties with her, that included phone calls, texts, and hanging out. I made it three days, until yesterday, when she texted me- asking if I wanted to take a ride with her. I responded kind of snarky, and she picked up on it instantly. I then decided to take the ride, and have this conversation face to face.

We chatted all day about it. She said that she realized she was being a brat (trying to keep me as a friend, but nothing more- when she knew that there was more feelings on either side).

When it came time to say goodbye, we gripped each other in that same passionate squeeze. We kissed for almost a half hour, with our tears mingling together on our cheeks. She explained that it's easier for her to bury her feelings deep. We told each other 'I love you,' (Ok, I said it a few times). And when I walked away, I felt emotionally drained.

She said she was going to miss our 'funnest day evers' and breaking each other's balls. But she also said she understood that I had to do what I had to do. She said, 'I know I'm being a brat, trying to keep you around, but at arms length, when I know there's deeper feelings between us."

So I had to do it. It was the most difficult thing I've ever had to do. I didn't want to say goodbye. I don't want to NOT see her anymore. But every time we hang out, I fall deeper and deeper for her. And I just can't do it anymore.

Before we parted, I told her, "I'm going to marry you one day." She smiled and said, "Ok,' chuckling. 'I'm fine with that.'

This is perhaps the biggest heartbreak I've ever had to deal with. And it sucks. Hopefully, the pain will subside and my feelings will wither away. The ****ed up part is, I don't want them to.

Questions? Comments? I'm open to 'em all.

[Indignant]

i am even more confused by the end of your story...

[Gigabitch]

You did the right thing. There's nothing more draining than one of those "friendships with potential". Either it is or it isn't.

Either you two have a major communication issue or you're not conveying the details very well. Just what, exactly, is going on now? When you said goodbye, was it really goodbye?