Responsibility of parents

[lovesjoyajm]

The white picket fence thread reminded me of something I was thinking about.

What responsibility do you think parents have towards their children when it comes to "their futures"? In particular, I'm thinking about education.

As a parent, is it somehow irresponsible not to contribute financially as much as you're able toward your child's education? Or does making your child pay for their own education somehow give it more value to them?

Does paying for a college education for your children oblige them to pursue success on YOUR terms? To strive towards what YOU want for them? Providing for your kid is what you're supposed to do, right? But how much does that make them indebted to you?

Sorry, these are scattered thoughts, but I'm curious what you all think, specially those of you with kids.

[vashti]

On a personal level, I consider educational expenses to be a loan that will be repaid when my children pay for the education of my grandkids.

I don't think parents OWE the cost of higher education, but if they can afford it, and if the kids are decent students, I think it is a good thing to do, and I really can't imagine why a parent wouldn't want to do it, assuming they raised decent, productive kids.

[Cbrider]

On a personal level, I consider educational expenses to be a loan that will be repaid when my children pay for the education of my grandkids.

Thats a really cool way of looking at it and a good one at that.

I personally am an education nightmare for my parents in a way.

I had little interest in my own education when i graduated high school. My School system was so easy it was a joke. I NEVER did homework and rarely stayed awake in class and I passed with a 3.4 GPA....I am NOT an academic superstart by any means.

When it came to college my parents had it all set up and off I went to a school I wish I wouldn't have. I spent two long, boring years at a university outside of my home city. I silently fell into a pretty serious depression that had to be medically corrected with an anti depressant. All said and done, I think I managed to throw away somewhere in the $35,000 range of my parents money, it was an awesome feeling when I look back ~_~

My parents never got mad at me over it, they were just sad to see me fall short when I am capable of anything I want to from an IQ stand point. I sat down and talked with them and explained that its my time, I need to step up to the plate and do this myself or I will never appreciate what I have/had.

I am totally on my own now outside of a cell phone bill and my car insurance, I pay for my motorcycle and it feels good. I buy my own things and pay for my own life.

Point is, my parents viewed a higher education as something that was a requirement, not a convenience and I am glad that they instilled that in me. I will get a degree at my own pace because I march to my own drum in a sense, but I will get one.

[IndiReloaded]

Fortunately for us, our son will receive his university education for free.

But even if that weren't the case, we would help him financially. Tho we would hope that he would be motivated enough to receive scholarships. We were fortunate, but neither of us had to pay anything in that regard.

If you are considering children (Shorty?), perhaps look into those education funds? I know in Canada, they will add up to 20% of what you put into an RESP. Try getting that guaranteed return on anything else these days.

[vashti]

CBrider - I think parents need to recognize their children's own nature. Some kids benefit by taking a year or two off to work before starting school. I have one kid who is an academic powerhouse, and the other one is smart, but uninterested. We will probably not be sending her directly to university, but the money will be there for her when she is ready to focus.

Congratulations on your independence, BTW. It is very commendable.