Paying for dates

[Junket]

I let my girlfriend pay, and just get her back later, and have no problem splitting a bill.

Then again, we have thoroughly discussed this and it's an understanding now, nothing we have to bicker over.

[Indignant]

Okay, haha... usually what happens is he asks me to hang out, like go for a bike ride or something, and then dinnertime rolls around and I'm starving and the only way I get to eat is if I ask him to take me somewhere.

I know he likes me for sure. (And no, we haven't been intimate. I'm saving that for later.)

interesting....and weird at the same time....

[Indignant]

how old are you?

[p3rson]

I'm 18 years old.

[Indignant]

I'm 18 years old.

not certain of course, but he may not be taking you seriously. meaning it's fun to have a much younger girlfriend but guys usually just use them for fun.

i have an IT friend who only dates 18-19 year old girls to have fun with them.

[p3rson]

not certain of course, but he may not be taking you seriously. meaning it's fun to have a much younger girlfriend but guys usually just use them for fun.

i have an IT friend who only dates 18-19 year old girls to have fun with them.

I could see how that can happen, but it's kind of a leap.

You've probably heard this a million times about this situation, but... this one's different. Besides, we haven't had sex, and he's not pushing it, just being really sweet to me, so it seems unlikely.

Back to my original question... what do I say if we get the bill and he asks me to pay? Should I just be straightforward about my feelings, or try to sidestep it? If sidestep, how?

[Junket]

No, don't wait until you get a bill, you discuss this well before you even go out for food.

[p3rson]

No, don't wait until you get a bill, you discuss this well before you even go out for food.

Yes, but *how* do I bring that up gracefully?

Him: "And then, to my surprise, he DID dodge the banana!"
Me: "THAT'S HILARIOUS! So, you should probably, uh... pay for me next time we go out... kay? Thaaaanks." *Takes a sip from her Initech mug*

[Indignant]

I could see how that can happen, but it's kind of a leap.

You've probably heard this a million times about this situation, but... this one's different. Besides, we haven't had sex, and he's not pushing it, just being really sweet to me, so it seems unlikely.

Back to my original question... what do I say if we get the bill and he asks me to pay? Should I just be straightforward about my feelings, or try to sidestep it? If sidestep, how?

you should be completely honest about the situation, including traditions, not being financially secure. something like, i like you a lot and love spending time with you however i wouldn't want the above mentioned reasons keeping you away from me.

[Junket]

"You should probably"

See that? The you?

When discussing a conflict of interest it's important to discuss the I.

I was raised that the man should pay for the woman.

I would prefer if I would only pay for half of the bill.

Or.

I'm uncomfortable paying for the both of us.

I'm not in the position to pay for us both because of how little I make.

Or.

What are your thoughts on who pays for dinner?

In this case, he'll probably be onto what you're getting at, but it gives him an opportunity to make his opinion known before he feels too defensive, this way you can see where he stands and react accordingly.

Semantics are very important.

[p3rson]

Right, but how would it come up?

[Junket]

Right, but how would it come up?

I dunno, that's up to you.

C'mon you're dating this guy, not me.

But most certainly not right before you guys go eat, or are eating, or after eating.

[Indignant]

I dunno, that's up to you.

C'mon you're dating this guy, not me.

But most certainly not right before you guys go eat, or are eating, or after eating.

after sex.

[lesa]

There are no rules but I find when there is good chemistry between the two on the first date the guy will pay. After all he asked you out. You pay when you want to get the hell out of there.

If it's a relationship the person who does the asking pays. If they can't pay then don't ask. Find something to do that you can afford.

This stuff should be common sense.

You are not to expect a man to pay if you are asking him out. That's not cool. Are you cool?

[p3rson]

after sex.

Absolutely not, no sex until we're in a stable relationship.