Nude pictures on my boyfriends phone

[Star]

Hi guys,
I'm 21 and my boyfriend is 22. I've been with my boyfriend for over a year. Earlier in our relationship we had many problems but worked through them and now we argue very rarely.

However, the other day, I looked through his phone and found sexual text messages and nude picture and video messages from other girls.

Why would he do this?

He doesn't act any differently towards me... he still tells me he loves me and calls me throughout the day just to say hi.

I haven't asked him about them yet... I don't really know what to do or how to approach the situation...

Any advice?

[Lite]

Any advice?

"Hi, I was wrong and I snooped at your phone the other day. I'm sorry for that. However I saw the text messages and photos. I'm not pleased and feel we should have a talk about this, and how it has damaged both my trust in you and the foundation of our relationship."

[Gigabitch]

Well, the cat's out of the bag, regardless of whether or not it was her right to touch the bag, wonder what that meowing sound was, etc.

He doesn't act any differently towards you because he's been doing this all along. I know it must feel as if you're in Bizarro world right now, where everything seems fine but it's not, not, not.

Don't panic, though. This isn't necessarily the end of everything. All it really is is some bad phone messages. It's not like you caught him in bed with someone else. Yes, I know it feels like that, but you have to keep your feet on the ground, here.

You have to confront him about this as matter-of-factly and calmly as possible. If you're freaking out, it will be easier for him to weasel out of telling you the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth.

Wait, let's back up for a moment. First of all, are you sure you WANT the truth? This forum has brought it to my attention that some people don't actually want the truth. They want to keep living in blissful ignorance. Are you sure you want to know?

[Star]

I do want to know the truth.
At first I was devastated and shocked at what I saw. I wanted to cry and yell at him and freak out.

But after I let myself calm down a bit... I did come to the understanding that they are just pictures.
Maybe he's just insecure with himself and seeks this kind of attention from other women to make himself feel good.

I don't think he would actually go out and cheat on me.

I confronted him about them and he got mad that I snooped through his phone (of course) and he also told me that he loves me and cares about me but does get the feeling that he wants to date other girls and feels our relationship is getting "old". He misses the fun and excitement of a new relationship.

Is there anything I can do from here?
Or should I just let him go?

[Indignant]

let him go.

[Lite]

Is there anything I can do from here?
Or should I just let him go?

It takes TWO people to make a relationship work. It sounds like he's more interested in injecting energy into other women than you. Like Dig said. Dump his ass and find someone who appreciates you.

[Gigabitch]

Yup. Let him go. The writing is on the wall.

[misombra]

it sucks that you had to find out that he was feeling that way by finding all that crap on his phone. too much of a wimp to just come out and say stuff.

let him go and don't look back.

[Junket]

I feel like your boyfriend from time to time.

But not to the point where I'd do anything like that.

[Star]

Thanks everyone! I really appreciate your advice. So... it's over between us.

It sucks...

Why would he do this?

[Junket]

I think you know why, you made it pretty clear.

[Gribble]

Because relationships are temporary interludes and that one had run its course but he didn't want to give up a reliable supply of ass until he had a new source secured.

[Illusional]

bring it up and talk to him about it.

raverboy

[DatWin]

Dump his ass.

[Gigabitch]

Send a pic to his phone of you holding up a sign that says "So long, sucka!"