How can I help him into the romance?

[Miss_Navi]

We've been together for 4 months now. He's an amazing person, however as we are going out the romance isn't too great and I'm not falling.

We often tenderly caress each others hands, but that's about the extent of the romance between us. We never stare fondly into each others eyes, or have long, heart-felt kissing sessions together. He does not seem relish the time spent with me as much as I would like, for example at night I could spend lots of time kissing him tenderly etc but he doesn't seem to encourage it. In a way he seems rather awkward or maybe even uninterested, as he sometimes just kisses back in a silly way that's not romantic at all. He has a very silly personality, maybe it's just his way with 'dealing' with me but I don't think he is letting himself go and it gets me down.
I don't know what to say to him either, because I really like him but there is an awkwardness to the romance in our relationship.

What should I do? Please help me

I would like to know how else to share attraction

[misombra]

how old are you two?

[Miss_Navi]

Age is no issue to either of us, but if you need to know i'm 21 and he's 35

[misombra]

are you sure you're the only girl he's with?

[Pink68]

Sorry girl but love takes time and you can't make yourself or him fall... back off a bit and give him the opportunity to lead. Make sure you have a life outside of him with friends and hobbies. Don't make him feel that he must be your everything..too much pressure.. step back relax and give it time!

[Lite]

Age is no issue to either of us, but if you need to know i'm 21 and he's 35

Ah, you're insecure with a bad childhood, and he doesn't show you love in the way you want it. Got it.

Her's a tip. People who truly don't care about age, don't say up front "Age is no issue to us." People who have issues in their past and are looking for some perceived semblance of stability do.

We were asking because our advice changes between say a 14 year old and a 35 year old asking for advice. Not because we wanted to pounce upon your age difference, but if you're going to be preemptively defensive about it, it's obvious that it's a sore subject for you, and you feel that you have something you need to prove to us.

You have to accept that a person isn't necessarily going to show you love in the manner that you want. You cannot force him to find deep meaning in staring into your eyes or kissing you constantly. Either you accept his love in the forms it appears, or you need to find someone who you think is a better match for you.

With the current age difference I imagine he's going to be manipulating you into being the person he wants you to be, then try to keep you under his thumb. At 21 you're not quite fully developed as to who you are, and don't quite fully know who you want to be unless you've had a traumatic event in your childhood. Even then your vision as such will be tainted based upon the damage you've received.

Good luck with all that.

[indian_bull]

i think u need to ask urself first do you really love him? then second point is do he love you? if there is love and no attrcation between you both sexually then there may be many factors. may be he is not sure about the relation with you. may be he is not finding you attrcative enough. or may be he is not feeling unsecured about himself, or not confident enough. well you should be in a better position to judge what is the case. hope it helps you. cheers