help! problems with my ex gf

[Nathan]

Hi all,

To make a long story short my gf left me twice to go back to her ex. She has lived with him for about a year now. She always told me she knew it would not work with him but she wanted to try. She still said she loved me since she broke up with me a year ago and said I have done more for her then he ever does. She says I listen to her and she tells me more about things then she does to him. Note: my ex gf is my coworker.

To make a long story short the last three months I have been keeping away from her. I was about gotten over her. But two weeks ago my ex gf came up to me at work pretty much asking if I would give her sex. I said that was cheating. She said who cares anymore he never gives me anything anymore. So one night I was home and she called me for the first time in forever. She said she was going to the bar to have a drink so i met her there and we talk. I told her to be honest with me. She said she is questioning if she still loves him. She said all they do is fight anymore, she pays for everything, he doesnt do anything for her, she gets no sex, he wont talk to her, and I guess he has been touching her inapropreately. She said she is tired of him pretty much and dont want to be with him anymore. But she said he wont leave so she is not sure what to do. She pretyt much said she wanted me back but she said she new I wouldnt take her back for all the crap she did to me. So anyway the last few weeks we have been kissing and we had sex twice and she says she wants to be with me again ashe is just affriad of breaking up with him and that he wont leave the appartment.

Well two days ago we met at work and she said she did something bad. She said her and her bf went to see his cousin and I guess they all got drunk. Her bf passed out and I guess she made out with his cousin! Well I flipped on her alittle. Later i went up to her and said dont ever talk to me again. I said you are no good. She said I am no good to myself, I hate myself, and I dont want to live. Thats what she told me. LAter in the day she passed me with a mean/sad look on her face. I stopped her and said I was sorry but that she hurts me a lot and she stresses me out. I tell her she means alot to me and you cant do things like that. Even though she is cheating with me. Again she says she is no good. Anyway we talked and she still loves me very much and said she would never cheat on me that nothing would ever get old with me.

Last night was weird. We talked on aim for awhile. I guess her bf found out about her making out with his cousin. He found it amusing!!! And she was pretty bummed about that. I guess she was hoping he would leave her for that. After that she kept saying she is no good and wonders why I would want her back. She said she hates her self. She thinks she is addicted to sex, she is no good she says. then say I dont trust myself. She says she thinks she will cheat on me if we ever get back together. I tell her you just doing it casue your unhappy right now with your current bf. But she was just really down on herself and said she is not sure now she wants to be with anyone. She doesnt want to cause anyone anymore pain anymore. She said she is worthless, etc. This really scared me last night. Lisa never cheated but twice.....but now she is acting like she is going to keep on doing it no matter who she is with. She wants to be with me very badly. She knows i was the best bf she had i was always there for her. She tells me she would be very happy with me . So I dont know what to say. When we dated for 5 months she never cheated on me and never wanted to. The only reason i am cheating with her now is casue i know she wants me back but the thing with his cousin scared me. Before she said she would never cheat on me. Now she hates herself and figures she has a problem.



Anyone here help me please! Advice! or anyone know whats the problem with her is?



Help help help. lol



Thanks,

Nathan

[Lite]

Sounds like she's right. She is no good and worthless.

Look, she cheated on her boyfriend with you. She cheated on her boyfriend w/ his cousin. So that he'd break up with her?

She's low class. She doesn't have the moral fortitude to break up with her boyfriend before approaching you or sleeping with you. She doesn't have the personal self control to not be trying to **** everything in sight when she's drunk.

Pretty much she's pathetic and you're an idiot if you continue to date her. She made her bed, and needs to lie in it. Oh wait, she already is lying in it, about it, and all around it with everyone else.

You need to respect yourself more than this and not be involved with someone who is already in a relationship.

Not to mention she's already left you twice! Why in the hell would you ever involve yourself with someone who has done absolutely nothing to fix her ****ing problems that cause her to do this shit to people? Why are you even asking us for help? This should be pretty much cut and dried for you. Your personal lust should not outweigh your personal morals.

[JadeFalcon7]

Dude, I just realized what she has made you.

You are the guy on the backburner. You are the great guy she's leaving just in case all goes wrong. If she's in a bad relationship, she has the power to get out of it. The cousin thing? She was horny as hell and found it exciting. This...girl, definitely not a mature woman, is not ready for a relationship, especially a serious one.

The whole saying she hates herself crap? This is just to get you to feel sorry for her, and to make her look like she's owning up to what she is, when she really isn't.

Stop being the backburner guy. You seem responsible and nice enough, there's a girl out there who won't break up with you to go back to a guy who sucks. You KNOW you're better than that, why sell yourself short? Who KNOWS who else she's been with or what she's done.

And by the way, if she cheats with you, she'll cheat on you. There could be another guy like you that she's telling another guy that you're being terrible and not giving her sex. She's not addicted to sex, she's just not ready to have sex with one person, and isn't mature enough to realize anything about herself.

The best solution is to get her out of your life and stay away from her. Just because having sex with her is easy to get because she "has a problem" ie- isn't ready for a relationship and will take it where she can get it, even from family members!, doesn't mean you should settle for her. Look at what you would end up with! Let it go, and give yourself what you deserve.

[Cbrider]

I went through bullshit like this with my ex and its not a pretty ending.

Shes playing you hard, shes trying to have the best of both worlds, you and him. My ex would text me and beg me to talk to her, I just kept refusing over and over and she would keep trying. The one time I broke and actually talked to her, nothing was accomplished. She got what she wanted, my attention and thats all that mattered. I tried to explain how messed up she was in the way she was acting with herself and me but to no avail.

She tried again after that and I just completely shut her out. Not long after she started dating the guy that caused problems in our relationship and moved in with him less than a week later. So she turned out to be something that I wont say but other people have. Everything I warned her about is starting to be set in motion and I know one day she will look back and say "wow he was right and did care" but at this point its not worth more than the shit on my shoes.

Nathan, you can't fix her, she has to realize for herself what is wrong. You will NEVER be able to point this out to her or fix her, trust me I have tried and you CAN'T. Stop talking to her and stop playing the games, you're being beaten in a game where you can't even see the goal.

I know how hard it is to let go, believe me it took me four long and painful months to get past my ex. People will tell you all day how stupid you are to talk to this girl and you will keep trying to convince yourself there is hope. The sooner you let go the better off you will be. Hope is lost for now, theres no saying she can't change and come find you later on in life, but for now shes not your problem and you are worth more than she can offer.