Why Are You So Lame In Your Choices?

[elle]

]I noticed it a hundred and more times that all that matters to guys is accessibility of a girl (socially first). If a girl starts talking to him first and takes all the initiative he's almost for sure is gonna date her, and her looks won't really matter and in some cases at all. And it also won't matter how many beautifull, stunning, girls are right next to this not-so-good-looking-but-social girl, a guy won't even notice them. For some reason they prefer to take an easy path that will for sure lead to some results even if they are so-so results rather that take a harder path (even if it just means take the initiative and start the conversation) which will lead to a much better prize.
I personally find it a bit (a whole bit) lame, and wonder " why is that? men are supposed to be hunters who want the best of the best, but in reality what they are doing is like preferring an already dead deer (no matter how disgusting it is) where all you have to do is collect it from the ground rather than chasing a healthy, fat one.

[Sonrisa]

I noticed it a hundred and more times that all that matters to guys is accessibility of a girl (socially first). If a girl starts talking to him first and takes all the initiative he's almost for sure is gonna date her, and her looks won't really matter and in some cases at all. And it also won't matter how many beautifull, stunning, girls are right next to this not-so-good-looking-but-social girl, a guy won't even notice them. For some reason they prefer to take an easy path that will for sure lead to some results even if they are so-so results rather that take a harder path (even if it just means take the initiative and start the conversation) which will lead to a much better prize.
I personally find it a bit (a whole bit) lame, and wonder " why is that? men are supposed to be hunters who want the best of the best, but in reality what they are doing is like preferring an already dead deer (no matter how disgusting it is) where all you have to do is collect it from the ground rather than chasing a healthy, fat one.

WOW! what planet are you from?

[elle]

...ireland...

[elle]

...why?...

[Sonrisa]

...ireland...

I had no idea such planet existed it might be in a different solar system though.

[elle]

LOL of course not, what made you think i was from a different planet in the first place?

[swargolet]

Every guy is different. I know guys that will open up to almost any girl not really caring what they look like, how "easy" they are, or anything. Then there are guys that do wait for the girl to initiate the conversation and wait for the easier route.
Everyone is different. It is usually the shy guys that dont go for the more beautiful girl mostly because they feel as if they arent adequate enough for them or they are afraid of rejection. I'm sort of that person. I would love to walk up to a beautiful girl and start talk then possibly lead to a date, I just personally feel like I dont live up to their standards. It is stupid but a lot of guys think like this.

[Sonrisa]

most guys though do prefer beauty over brains. otherwise their sex life will suffer for lack of attraction. check out other posts.

[Mish]

I personally find it a bit (a whole bit) lame, and wonder " why is that? men are supposed to be hunters who want the best of the best, but in reality what they are doing is like preferring an already dead deer (no matter how disgusting it is) where all you have to do is collect it from the ground rather than chasing a healthy, fat one.

You will find that men's 'hunter' skills are not exactly greatly encouraged in our today's culture. It's not an easy skill to acquire and women cry "stalker" the moment a guy's skill is less than perfect. That can be hard to deal with and can be an ego blow to guy's who are not used to it. The problem is that the "easy way out" is actually very very easy and "the harder way out" you describe can be very very hard with very little in between. That's why the few guys who really know how to chase their game (smoothly and with stealth) are the ones who get all the juice.

[elle]

because they feel as if they arent adequate enough for them or they are afraid of rejection.

you yourself cannot be adequate or inadequate it's only the way you present yourself that can be. So if you present yourself as an adequate person (things like clothes is also part of presenting yourelf!) nobody will ever find anything wrong about you. Some popular guys are actually ugly but They themselves think they are cool and it doesn't accur to anyone to even question it. So in the end what YOU think about yourself is what others are going to think about you.

It's not an easy skill to acquire and women cry "stalker" the moment a guy's skill is less than perfect. That can be hard to deal with and can be an ego blow to guy's who are not used to it.

but you don't have to start your conversation with "i love you" you can start with some totally meaningless question, ask about things like homework, and see how she feels about you..

P.S. This is what happened to me too by the way. I transformed from ugly to gorgeous in 2 moths. I've always been pretty, and people who didn't know me closely always said that but at school i just wouldn't dress up and act flirty like other girls but nobody cared what it really was so they just called it "ugly" and i was kinda afraid to change, i thought "what are others gonna say" what if it goes wrong.. But then i moved to Canada and there no one knew me so it was fairly easy to change, (my appearance mainly) and soon all guys were saying how gorgeous i was, and then in summer i visited my country and THERE they started acting as though they never called me anything but gorgeous so it was weird really how same people changed their point of view on the same person a 100%

[Mish]

but you don't have to start your conversation with "i love you" you can start with some totally meaningless question, ask about things like homework, and see how she feels about you..

It's actually not as easy as it sounds. First up, no one starts a conversation with I love you, I think that's self explanatory. Second, approaching can be difficult especially for people with little experience. If you are a guy with little experience then you don't know how to read the signs well. "Is she interested or not interested? Why is she looking away? She's probably here just to spend time with friends and I don't want to intrude." These thoughts would probably sound familiar to lots of guys starting out.

Meaningless questions are a battle ground where many guys have lost their egos and continue to do so. Meaningless questions are actually loathed by a lot of women if they are not wrapped in an appropriate sentiment which rings a bell with them. And women can be ruthless and brutal with the approaching subjects if they sense a hint of "inappropriateness". I know a girl who almost attacked a guy because he didn't open up properly (she reasons it was her pre-emptive preventative measure). Knowing how to do that and how to pin point interest and find cues given away by body language and facial expressions is not an easy skill to develop and many guys just give up after a couple of failures. It's understandable, what's there to encourage them not to?

[elle]

It's actually not as easy as it sounds. First up, no one starts a conversation with I love you, I think that's self explanatory. Second, approaching can be difficult especially for people with little experience. If you are a guy with little experience then you don't know how to read the signs well. "Is she interested or not interested? Why is she looking away? She's probably here just to spend time with friends and I don't want to intrude." These thoughts would probably sound familiar to lots of guys starting out.

Meaningless questions are a battle ground where many guys have lost their egos and continue to do so. Meaningless questions are actually loathed by a lot of women if they are not wrapped in an appropriate sentiment which rings a bell with them. And women can be ruthless and brutal with the approaching subjects if they sense a hint of "inappropriateness". I know a girl who almost attacked a guy because he didn't open up properly (she reasons it was her pre-emptive preventative measure). Knowing how to do that and how to pin point interest and find cues given away by body language and facial expressions is not an easy skill to develop and many guys just give up after a couple of failures. It's understandable, what's there to encourage them not to?

Well, some of the guys make just riddiculous mistakes like saying "hey babe" you have to be dumb not to realize that this is a horrible opening line, or for instance ask you out and then
you ask "where are we going" answer- "i dunno" "okay let's go to the cinema" "no since i don't really know you let's just walk around" Yea, if they don't wanna spend a penny on me of course i don't wanna date a guy like that. Or else on the first date they show up late and act like nothing's wrong.
So it's not hard to approach a girl you just have to be yourself (not trying to be cool) and yea being well-dressed is important. Cuz if a guy is not well dressed when he approaches you or even worse on the first date it looks to you as though he just doesn't care about your opinion about him. What else? don't make her kiss you on the first date, try to be just frendly at first. (Cuz if you approach her first she's probably not "in love" with you yet, it's gonna take some time) presents are important of course, it shows that he cares about you too. So it isn't hard really.

[Mish]

Elle I don't think you fully understand (or don't want to understand) the complexities of asking out and the amount of work involved (especially if someone doesn't have a lot of experience in that field). If it's so easy how about you start asking guys out instead of waiting for them to ask you?

[elle]

If it's so easy how about you start asking guys out instead of waiting for them to ask you?

i certainly would, if girls WERE SUPPOSED to do that, using as examples guys who once approached me. For instance i met one of them while riding a bus, there was a wasp who just wouldn't leave me alone so he just told me what to do, then we talked about wasps for a bit, then he asked what my name was, i didn't even notice how this turned into something more than a casual conversation, so this was an ideal situation for a guy cuz there was no way i could really reject anything cuz there was nothing to reject., if you know what i mean.. And anyway i'm used to it cuz it's me who usually does 70% of the talking during the first date which is supposed to be the most awkward time together, so there are virtually no awkward silences and i guess that's part of the reason guys call again, cuz it's just kind of "convenient" for them.. So it wouldn't be a big deal for me to approach someone if i was supposed to. And even if you are rejected, so what? You have to realize that you're not the center of the world and the reason might not be you at all. This summer during my trip i rejected like 5 guys and not because i didn't like them but because there was no point in starting dating anyone there...

[Mish]

For instance i met one of them while riding a bus, there was a wasp who just wouldn't leave me alone so he just told me what to do, then we talked about wasps for a bit, then he asked what my name was, i didn't even notice how this turned into something more than a casual conversation, so this was an ideal situation for a guy cuz there was no way i could really reject

Well maybe you should get attacked by wasps more often if they create these ideal situations?

So it wouldn't be a big deal for me to approach someone if i was supposed to. And even if you are rejected, so what? You have to realize that you're not the center of the world and the reason might not be you at all. This summer during my trip i rejected like 5 guys and not because i didn't like them but because there was no point in starting dating anyone there...

Well how about you start approaching guys disregarding whether you are suppose to or not and after 20 guys in a row reject you and you have a better feeling of what it must be like for a lot of guys, then we will discuss it again. I will be interested to know if you still think it's not a big deal which has no effect on you at all.