I found emails from my Boyfriend's Past

[Lessia]

Hi everyone,
I feel like poop.
I'm 20 and have been seriously dating my boyfriend for 1.5 years.
2 months before we started going out he broke up with his ex who he'd been dating for a little over a year.
I love my boyfriend very much but I found an email he sent his ex (when they were still going out) It was a love letter and contained a lot of phrases I've heard him say to me.
They don't keep in contact but is it wrong that I feel upset that he's used these lines before?
I've had ex's and can honestly say that I've never felt with them what I feel now with my bf. Why do his messages to his ex sound so much like what we have? I don't like the idea of him having loved someone as he loves me. I think that if we're going to be together, he must feel something different from all the others. right?
I don't know what to do or to confront him about it.
please please help.
-Lessia

[Gribble]

Yeah, it is wrong. Shame on you for snooping.

[Indignant]

guys are very limited in their words, gestures and expressions. there is no need to upset at him for feeling love over and over again and expressing it exactly the same way. some other girl after you will find his letters addressed to you, should she be upset? of course not, this is your phase and all of his feelings are directed at you. appreciate it and enjoy it.

[Gigabitch]

Oh, Lessia, don't stress about it. Check out this forum- most guys can't even seem to get up the nerve to talk to a girl at all, let alone come up with new material. Think of her as the practice girlfriend, okay?

You guys are together now. Don't **** it up.

[Cain]

Hi everyone,
I feel like poop.
I'm 20 and have been seriously dating my boyfriend for 1.5 years.
2 months before we started going out he broke up with his ex who he'd been dating for a little over a year.
I love my boyfriend very much but I found an email he sent his ex (when they were still going out) It was a love letter and contained a lot of phrases I've heard him say to me.
They don't keep in contact but is it wrong that I feel upset that he's used these lines before?
I've had ex's and can honestly say that I've never felt with them what I feel now with my bf. Why do his messages to his ex sound so much like what we have? I don't like the idea of him having loved someone as he loves me. I think that if we're going to be together, he must feel something different from all the others. right?
I don't know what to do or to confront him about it.
please please help.
-Lessia

Are you serious? You can't expect him to have never loved someone else before. Instead, be happy that he's currently with you and not with anyone else.

And yes, shame on you for snooping.

[Lessia]

maybe i shouldnt have snooped but I am not going to be just a "phase". and just because he's a guy doesn't mean he gets a free pass on lacking creativity. I know i bust my ass to keep it interesting and whatnot so why does he get off the hook so easily? its ok if hes loved someone before me... as long as its not the same... and as far as i've read, its too similar for me to just shrug it off.

[Indignant]

maybe i shouldnt have snooped but I am not going to be just a "phase". and just because he's a guy doesn't mean he gets a free pass on lacking creativity. I know i bust my ass to keep it interesting and whatnot so why does he get off the hook so easily? its ok if hes loved someone before me... as long as its not the same... and as far as i've read, its too similar for me to just shrug it off.

you've got a loooooooooooooooooooooot of growing up to do, girl.

[Lessia]

indignant, you called me a phase.

[Indignant]

indignant, you called me a phase.

you are 20, do you really think you'll be marrying him? and be with for the rest of your life? if you do, then my congrats to you on being able to achieve something so rare nowadays. try asking women on this forum only how many relationships they've had since they were 20.

[Lessia]

we talk about marriage all the time. i'm not that young, indignant, and i know what to expect. this, however, threw me off... hence the search for advice in a love forum..

[Indignant]

we talk about marriage all the time. i'm not that young, indignant, and i know what to expect. this, however, threw me off... hence the search for advice in a love forum..

the more expectations you have for him, the more disappointed you might be in the end. he is an individual who shouldn't be pressured into doing something he might regret later. many couple fantasize about marrying, buying property together, building a future; how many of them actually do end up fulfilling those dreams?

[Junket]

Why would you be in his e-mail?

Does he go through yours?

Do you guys make sure to f*ck differently than your past relationships?

To kiss differently than your past relationships?

Do you make sure to avoid the restaurants you took your past partners?

Ditch the clothes you used to wear to impress your past partners?

You may be 20, but that obviously doesn't make you any less naive about people. I'm not just referring to you and your situation, you might be surprised how many women and men come here because they snooped and found something that upset them.

Some are legitimate, like texts from a 3rd love interest.

In that situation, I think the end justifies the means (but that's a gamble in itself), your situation however, I don't believe your resentment of him is justified when it's your insecurity that's making you emotional.

Here's a question, how are you going to go about telling him how much he hurt your feelings by doing absolutely nothing wrong?

[Lessia]

i'll figure it out.

[Gribble]

I think you should confront him. Tell him everything you wrote here.

That way he can get out while the getting's good.

[Cain]

i'll figure it out.

There shouldn't be anything to figure out.

You're extremely insecure about this whole thing. And if you turn this into a big deal then you might ruin what otherwise appears to be a good relationship.