Friend or more?

[Lightkeeper]

There is a woman I work with who has just become the one I tell all my secrets to. So I fancy her quite a lot, but don't want to lose the friendship. We do make sexy jokes with each other. She says she will find me a new girlfriend- I have been single for nearly a year.
How can I gauge her true feelings without messing up the friendship?
She is going on a long holiday soon, would like to get her a present to take. What would be suitable?

[Bonovox40]

So I fancy her quite a lot, but don't want to lose the friendship. We do make sexy jokes with each other. She says she will find me a new girlfriend- I have been single for nearly a year.
How can I gauge her true feelings without messing up the friendship?

It sounds as though you're already securely in the "friends" category. If this is your intention, then I wouldn't be worrying about it much. Are you afraid that she likes you romantically? It doesn't really sound like it. Plus your behavior seems to be pushing her towards just being friends. And her comments about finding you a gf all sound like things girls that are friends say about their guy friends. (Not BF's)

If you're trying to salvage a romantic encounter out of this, I wouldn't expect it to really happen. If you distance yourself from her with the chit chat at work and only make it clear that you want to date, then it's possible if she has some lingering feelings for you. Buying gifts will definately throw you in the center of being a "friend". But it's unneccesary either way. If she isn't your best buddy, why give her a gift? Are you expecting one from her? It won't change the situation regardless. Just tell her you hope she has a nice vacation and that you'll look forward to seeing her when she gets back. That's as nice a verbal gift as you need to give.

If your worried that the friendship might be put into jeopardy because she MIGHT like you, stop worrying. Women are more comfortable then guys typically with maintaining friendships even if it isn't completly mutual. I'd recommend not worrying at all as long as you only want a friend and nothing more. You're safe where you are. BUT, if you're hoping to make this one a potential gf, you've been going at it all wrong. Completely opening up and divuldging secrets/personal thoughts, is like putting an unwrapped present under the xmas tree in a woman's mind. It might be something they want, but they know they'll get it no matter what and that takes all the excitement of waiting to see what it (YOU) really is under the wrapping.

Plus, if they know ahead of time, they can plan if they wish to take it (you) back for an exchange. lol. Sneaky women.

[jslaughter]

There is a woman I work with who has just become the one I tell all my secrets to. So I fancy her quite a lot, but don't want to lose the friendship.

There is a very crude saying that sometimes rings through - "Don't $h1t where you eat" - I would proceed with a great deal of caution because you could lose more than your friendship - working with an ex is not a very comfortable situation especially if it someone you work closely with. However if the prospect of interfering with your job isn't an issue . . .

How can I gauge her true feelings without messing up the friendship?

You could always put it on the line and ask her or when she talks about finding you a new girlfriend you could mention you have someone in mind for that "position" and see how she reacts.

She is going on a long holiday soon, would like to get her a present to take. What would be suitable?

If she doesn't have a camera I am a big fan of the disposable camera. Tell her it's so she can share her trip with you once she gets back.

[Bonovox40]

If she doesn't have a camera I am a big fan of the disposable camera. Tell her it's so she can share her trip with you once she gets back.

That's a nice way of getting yourself initially involved in this situation. Easy to infer that you'd like to be going with her if things were different. (as in dating) You could even say something like "Imagine if I was with you and capture some of those scenes you'd like to remember." But depending on her views and feelings, that could be too bold. Would make the intention quite obvious though!

I like your idea though J. Simple, yet meaningful. Nice touch.