Am I Making A Fool Of Myself??

[katie87]

Now this feels like an odd place to discuss this, but it seems you guys give good advice from what I've seen, so I'll try my luck...

Ok. Nearly two weeks ago it was my friends' birthday. She organised a meal with twelve of her close friends and family and we went to a club afterwards. I met her in my Uni town, I've since moved back home. Early on in the evening, I was introduced to her cousin, who's family she currently lives with, as well as him. Y'know how sometimes you meet someone and there's instant chemistry? Well that was kind of how I'd describe it. We had common groud based upon the fact that he went to Uni in my home town, so got chatting and it was clear that he deliberately sat opposite me at the meal.

Once we arrived at the club, it seemed obvious that he was, well, sticking to me a bit and generally following me around. We spent the majority of the night chatting, dancing and drinkin together and it was all really flirty. (God, I sound about twelve). Being a rotton pair of smokers, when we were outside alone he'd be a little more touchy feely, and asked for a hug because he was cold.

Back inside, towards te very end of the night, we kissed and he said that his cousin (my friend) "had tried to set us up in the past".

We went back to their house afterwards and a few jokes were made about the two of us, but I didn't like to look like the one who'd hooked up with my mates cousin at her party so laughed it off. I left early the next morning, so didn't see him but we've since added eac oter as friends on facebook. We've exchanged two jokey mesages about his hat which went missing during the evening(!) but that's about it. He doesn't seem to be on Facebook often, as do I, so it equated to a message a day.

Now, I'm well aware that he could have been after you-know-what. I'm no bunny boiler but I'm quite surprised by how attracted I am to him and would love to see him again. I'm aware of the rules concerning 'he's just not that into you'' etc, and considerin the hour distance I guess it's pointless. However, based on his behaviour that evening and the extent of the (what I'd call) chasing, he was interested. How would you go about addressing this situation? I'm in my Uni town practicaly every weekend as all my friends are still there and I miss my old Uni life I suppose. I'm visiting my friend on sunday in fact and am wondering if it'd look a little suss, even though it's not? I sound like a loon and I adore my friend, but, dear oh dear, attraction is a weird thing.


He sent me this on valentines day, 5 days after my last message:

'So has valentine's brought you any nice surprises? Any offers for a night of passion and romance in the big J? Well just in case you haven't been inundated with chocolate and flowers, i'm giving you a little poke as gift from me. I know, true romance x'

just to clarify, he doesnt use this site. I replied the next day when id read the message. I was surprised at the content, considering my previous message hadnt contained a question. Is he likely to feel obliged to write somethin like this seeing as im friends with his cousin (who he lives with)??

Trouble is, as im staying at hers on sunday night, i dont want it to look as though im just trying to see him. Even though we arranged for me to stay before i met him, im just worried that, due to the rather slow pace at which he reads his messages, he isnt that keen, as surely he'd check more often??

your opinions would be welcomed as im slightly concerned about looking silly on sunday
I'd appreciate your advice...

Yours,
Katie87 (aka 'weirded out by how loopy she feels')

[TheGreek]

Umm, I don't really know what you're asking here. Are you trying to figure out whether or not it's worth pursuing? I'd say, if you're interested, then why not?

About the messages, if he sent you a message on Valentine's, especially that message, he was trying to find out if you had a boyfriend or an interest. It sounds to me, from what you described, that he is also interested. If you like him, and it appears he likes you, then what have you got to lose?

[katie87]

I guess my concern is that he is only bein friendly because I am a good friend of his cousin, with whom he lives. Reasons for this are purely based on the fact that, surely, if he was thatkeen he wouldn't check his messaes at the slow rate that he has been doing?

I mean, it's not as if he couldn't reply considering my friendship with his cousin, is it?

Thanks for your reply!

[TheGreek]

I guess my concern is that he is only bein friendly because I am a good friend of his cousin, with whom he lives. Reasons for this are purely based on the fact that, surely, if he was thatkeen he wouldn't check his messaes at the slow rate that he has been doing?

I mean, it's not as if he couldn't reply considering my friendship with his cousin, is it?

Thanks for your reply!

we kissed and he said that his cousin (my friend) "had tried to set us up in the past

I think that pretty much says that he's interested and not just being nice. And as for him not checking his messages, maybe he doesn't want to come off as desperate.

[katie87]

"he's interested on not being nice" - what do you mean? Sorry if it's a typing error, just interested to hear your views!

[TheGreek]

"he's interested on not being nice" - what do you mean? Sorry if it's a typing error, just interested to hear your views!

Ahh, that's what I get for multi-tasking haha. I meant, "and not just being nice." I'll fix it.

[katie87]

Haha, thanks! Wasn't bein picky!

So (and I do apologise for boring you with this!) what do you suggest i do on sunday? im not really the type to ''make the first move'' as it were. And, maybe this wasnt the best way to go about it, but i havent exactly mentioned to my friend that i liked him, so i guess she just thinks it was a drunken flirt!

[carl1222]

I guess my concern is that he is only bein friendly because I am a good friend of his cousin, with whom he lives. Reasons for this are purely based on the fact that, surely, if he was thatkeen he wouldn't check his messages at the slow rate that he has been doing?
I mean, it's not as if he couldn't reply considering my friendship with his cousin, is it?

Thanks for your reply!

I think he likes you too, if not then the sweet and complimentary valentine poke makes no sense. There are lots of reasons why he may take time between messages. First, as Greek suggested, he may not want to come across as too desperate ... you girls can be brutal to deperate guys! Second, as you suggested, he's just not on facebook that much. Third, he may not be the kind of guy who jumps into relationships immediately with both feet ... that's good for you.

I also don't think he's just after "you-know-what" or is showing interest because his cousin is your good freind. Indeed, it is precisely because you are his cousin's good friend that he would be reluctant to play you or lead you on ... that would piss his cousin off royally.

As to the one hour distance ... I assume by your user name that you are 21 (or 22). Unless you are both transportationally challenged, that's a manageable LDR.

Oh ... and one question ... what is a "bunny boiler"? That's a new one on me.

Carl.

[katie87]

Thanks for your feedback. Still havent had a reply, so it's nearly a week since he wrote that message.

Ha, well, I'm from England and ''bunny boiler'' is the term attributed to a girl who obsesses over guys in a weid way. I think it originates from some Sharon Stone film, although I haven't seen it myself!

[Gigabitch]

It's from Fatal Attraction, and it's one of my favorite pejorative terms.

Katie, he's not just being nice. For God's sake, he poked you. On Valentine's Day.

I think you should buy him a new hat. It's perfect. And who gives a **** what everyone else thinks, or if they find out you like him, or whatever? I think the whole thing is adorable.

[katie87]

How lovely of you to say so. I guess I may be overanalysing slightly. Thank you for the advice, I will take it on board! x

[TheGreek]

How lovely of you to say so. I guess I may be overanalysing slightly. Thank you for the advice, I will take it on board! x

Slightly is a bit of an understatement dear. Go and get him

[Aeradalia]

All he needs is a bow... I think this one is pretty much wrapped for you..

[katie87]

Thank you once again for all your replies. Thing is, I still haven't heard from him!! A week now...

As Ive said, I'm seeing my friend tomorrow, should I mention this to her??

[katie87]

Slightly is a bit of an understatement dear. Go and get him

But how??!! Oh dear, I'm hopeless, aren't I?