Hmm...What's the deal?

[BeDour]

Hello I'm new here. I'm a 19 year old college student. I'm in an odd situation and was looking to get some advice/feedback. I'd really appreciate it if the typical "you're young" or "its just puppy love" answers could be avoided, because neither of the two are the case. I'm pretty mature for my age, and so is the girl I'm speaking of.

Recently (about 2 weeks ago) my girlfriend and I broke up. We had been dating for 2 years solid, and about a year and a half on and off before that. So we've been together all through highschool basically. We're extremely close to each other, and each other's family. She is a senior this year, and I'm in college. Next fall, she'll be going away to college, and it'd be about a 3 hour drive from where we are now. But anyway....Two weeks ago we hung out and everything was completely fine. We were laughing, having fun, cuddling and everything was as usual. Then the very next morning, she tells me she needs some time apart, which as you might suspect, was a complete surprise to me. She explained that it really was nothing either one of us did, and that she just wanted to be by herself for a while to figure things out and "see how she was on her own". So I took that as she basically needs a break to kind of find herself I guess, which I completely understand. I love her and respect her decision.

Fast forward to last night. We decided to meet up for some coffee and talk about things. We both got there and pretty much just started picking things up as usual. We were laughing and just enjoying each others company and just being silly like we always do. Then of course we discussed some things. She told me she doesn't really know what's going on, and doesn't have a plan. She's not sure if her and I are done for good, or if we'll get back together in the future. She said she's basically just winging it and wants to see what happens for her. She also said she kind of wants to "see what else is out there", so that she can see if I really am the one for her. So basically she wants to meet other guys and see if they measure up to me. Prior to dating me, she only had one other boyfriend, so she's never really tested the dating waters. I on the other hand dated many girls before her, and know she's the one I want. So again I can understand her reasoning. So after we talked and cried a little, we kind of went back to being happy. Then it got confusing. We started holding hands and kind of flirting, and when it came time to leave and say our goodbyes, she gave me a huge hug and we kissed, and as she got back in her car I could tell she was tearing up again. The whole night, she seemed to be unintentionally speaking like we were going to end up back together, but that could just be a product of my hopeful imagination.

So after that long read, I guess I can sum it up by asking; what should I do? She wants to do this whole break thing for herself, and I understand that. But on the other hand, it seems like she's really killing herself by not being with me. So I'm kind of confused as to what she's thinking and how I should act. Obviously I want to do whatever gets her back, but I don't want to push too much or do the opposite and give her too much space. I love her very very much, and I know she loves me too. We both agreed that it's insanely hard, because EVERYTHING reminds us of one another. We saw each other 3-4 times a week for almost 3 years, so we have an endless list of memories. Any advice anyone could give would be extremely helpful, and I apologize if I rambled too much. Thank you.

PS. Any advice from girls would be nice haha. Guys seems to have trouble thinking with the same mindset as women.
PSS. And here I sit, recieving texts from her telling me how much fun she had last night, and how handsome I looked....this is mind numbing.

[JMR]

It sounds to me that she is not sure about what she wants, or completely what her needs are, which is OK, she's young and its natural not to have matured to that point yet.

If you feel pretty comfortable in knowing what you want (her), then I say that you should take a higher road with this and give her space, let her take it.. don't let her comfortably come back to you or text you/flirt with you.. if she wants to go, let her.. take a step back. You both have a long way to go, college is a huge time of development and the next few years after are as well.. actually, you never stop growing, but you both will be quite different people in 4-6 years, in good ways. Like I said, give her the space she needs but if you really do love her and want to be with her, continue being a force in her life, someone secure that loves her, then it may be possible to ride this out.

[Gigabitch]

This is the classic "If you love something, let it go" situation. I think the odds are good that if you lovingly let her go, she'll come back to you. You can't give her too much space. It's impossible.

Just tell her you'll always be there for her and ask her how often she wants you to check in.

Believe me, it's very unlikely she'll find someone that measures up. Most guys your age are hopelessly flawed.