Update... Fighting Compulsion to Serve

[Aeradalia]

An update to the progress I have made...

In regards to work:

Often times I am very friendly, though usually walking on eggshells to keep everyone happy... and just help them more so out of habit. However, this naturally leads to me being more or less bullied (but in a 'friendly' way), some items come up missing (MY items), and I usually have to work twice as hard because someone doesn't want to work at all.

However, I more or less had enough of this. So I remained civil, but no longer left my items in common areas... and when I saw someone with one of my items... I confronted them, and got these things back. And have had fewer and fewer occurrences of these things 'disappearing.' When I have been 'bullied' by others... I stuck to the facts (particularly the 'job description') and spoke in a calm but firm voice. Needless to say, they were quite surprised and have since more or less left me alone. As for them not not doing their job... I hate to be manipulative, but they left me no choice. I'd do my share of work... and no longer would do theirs. So they were reprimanded and are quite bitter with me. But I really could care less...

In regards to love:

My boyfriend is an absolutely sweet guy... however there are times when he can be quite insecure.

Usually I would coddle him... try to reassure him.. and though this would seem to satiate.. I can tell that it really didn't help his insecurities.

So when an issue came up again... rather than coddle him.. I used logic on him. Discussed how the same could be said about him from my vantage point. Then I discussed how such line of questioning he had could really hurt the trust we share. He reluctantly agreed... and I even had him apologize -- rather than it be me trying to reassure him with whatever favor he wanted.

So I have been cleaning house... so to speak... and feel really good about my efforts. Work is much easier... and my boyfriend seems to be much more relaxed, more self-assured (oddly enough), and I even sense a deeper respect from him.

[Anomaly]

That is awesome how you stood up for yourself. I have been going through a lot of life changing things myself and have also been telling people what I really feel, and it has felt great. Don't ever let anybody make you feel bad, and if people want to like you, they will. So just be yourself and don't worry about people who are not worth your time. Do your own work and let them do their own, its important to let them know that you wont be pushed around by anyone. You are making great progress and I wish you the best of luck!