She got scared and I got hurt

[whitedragon20na]

I was supposed to go see my now ex-girlfriend tomorrow out in Minnesota and I live in Colorado. She called me this evening and said that things were moving too fast and that she thought it was too good to be true. I asked her to at least try and she said "no." She said the real reason is because she is afraid and she realized that she might be falling for her ex again. I know she loves me because she was crying and of course so was I. I just don't get it, everytime I get into a relationship they always think it's "too good to be true" and that's why I feel like I'll never find anyone.
My questions are; Why do girls typically get scared when a guy seems "too good to be true" and don't take the time to at least give it a shot? and, Is there such a thing as being too nice and too good to someone, not clingy or obsessed but just caring?

[squirrley]

DAMNIT ALL-had this all typed out and lost it...hate that.

From MY experience past relationships I was treated like shit-and felt that maybe thats what I had deserved. I gave so much and just gave more thinking it would get returned and it just did the opposite. Im in a situation right now where initially and maybe at times where Ive felt the man Im seeing now IS too good to be true...he blows my mind away. But Im not running-no way in hell.

I think it comes with growing up some and maturing...and when you do find someone who treats this way you have two options 1) run or 2) stay...
When someone runs from it its because theyre scared and are afraid theyre not good enough and will get burned that theres just no way someone this great could possibly be in their life-just not real for them. But if youre lucky enough and you know a damn good thing when you see it you stay and take the risk.

Someone whose so giving and so nice are rare...they just are-but someone has to recoginize those qualities and truly appreciate them. Its wonderful to find someone who is just that-nice, giving, and caring, etc...its amzing when you find that person. Just amazing. But I think some women dont think men like that exist-I sure didnt until recently.

Dont change who you are despite one person running...you have great qualities that women are looking for and one day someone will come along and know a good thing when they see it and will appreciate you.

I for one when I met this person thought omg Im running as fast as I can-oh no way do I deserve this man-theres just no way someone like him could be interested in me-but I stepped back and thought for a few days and realized theres no way I can let this go-I HAVE to see where this goes...take the risk Squirrely and still am...so it does happen but the right person has to see you for who you are Whitedragon and take it all in and absorb the fact you do exist.

It will happen for you-someone will come along and appreciate YOU. Dont change who you are for fear of being to good to be true...

[whitedragon20na]

Thank You Squirrley, I appriciate that very much and it makes me feel so much better.

[squirrley]

Your welcome-and I wish you the very best in life...remember dont change that winning personality...

[jslaughter]

Squirrley is 110% right and I have had the same problem - maybe we should form a support group!

Most of the time that I get dumped it starts with "I know that IF I wanted to settle down you are the perfect girl. . ." Frankly I would rather them just be honest - "The girl I met last night can suck a golf ball through 1 mile of knotted garden hose . . ."

[jfett85]

I'm feeling for you here dragon. Met the girl I thought would be the rest of my life and we dated for about 10 months. All of sudden she tells me she can't handle it anymore and thinks we should just be friends. It's a somewhat long distance relationship (about an hour and half apart) and apparently she'd found herself flirting with some other guy, which (i guess) makes her a bad girlfriend and unable to handle the relationship. It didn't bother me though, she'd never done more than talk with him, but whatever. So, as much as I still care for her, it's over.

I'm sure you're going through the same thoughts as I am - what did I do wrong? what should I have changed? will I get another chance (with her or someone else)? But you can't beat yourself up over that. I wasted too much time moping about losing her and I forgot to be happy. Keep on truckin and just be yourself. I hate to use cliches, but it really is true that if you let it go and it comes back then it was truly meant to be. So have a good time, keep your head on straight and live your life. You'll find someone who really wants to be with you as much as you want to be with them. And maybe it'll even be her, you know never. Good luck, and I hope to find you on here again posting about the love you've found instead of the one you've lost.