Always bringing up the ex's... ...

[BillyGalbreath]

You know, I sat back a few minutes ago and I starting to think. Why the hell am I always bringing up Destine and Robin with just about any conversation.

And then I started to think - everyone always says stop talking about your ex and you'll get over them faster...

Then I started thinking - I spent the last 4 years with those two. If I was to forget about them, I would forget about all the things I had done and all the growing I have done since then.

So in a way, its a catch 22 situation... You either talk about your ex's all the time. Or you just forget about everything you ever did while you were with them.

I did everything with my ex's. EVERYTHING.

[Ironliftr3]

It's called living in the past. Get over it, and move on. Enjoy your present, and look forward to your FUTURE.

[sfalexi]

Ex's make good references. When someone asks you about something, it's good to be able to draw upon your past relationships. It's a fine line, but you have to stop talking about your ex's enough to get over them. Then, when you're over them, you'll find that you can mention them and not even feel anything. So that way you can bring up the exes.

On this forum, a lot of stuff that's asked about is often personal questions. And often, SOMEONE will be able to relate it to a past relationship. Just like the other post, "What's your favorite position?" Well, chances are a favorite position is going to include an ex. So it's ok to think about it (unless you're a VERY limber masterbater). Someone can ask, "What's the big deal about anal sex?" And if you've done it with someone, it's probably an ex. And you can draw upon your experience.

So bringing up the ex can be a good thing. But you have to be able to make the experiences and references about an ex from a non-emotional standpoint. A simple "factual" standpoint.

Rod Steele

[BillyGalbreath]

well I wasnt stating I had a problem with this or that it still had feelings when i bring them up - its just weird. I was just telling stories about my past today and after awhile i began to notice i kept bringing up ex's and just wanted to see what others thought.

I am over Robin, and I am getting over Destine more and more each day.

[sfalexi]

If you're bringing up stories about the past, and the stories happen to have them in it, I don't see the problem. They ARE a part of your past (like it or not). And so you shouldn't PRETEND they 'didn't happen' and never talk about them.

[Ironliftr3]

And so you shouldn't PRETEND they 'didn't happen' and never talk about them.

But when someone tends to work their ex into EVERY conversation, it starts to get a little old. Many people do this, not just you Billy, but I tend to think the pattern suggests some sort of problem moving on. There is a difference between talking about it, getting it out, then moving on, and dwelling in the past.

[Clifton]

Yeah, i have been known to do it some, but its because she was such a big part of my life its hard not to

[jslaughter]

I know that within the safety of conversing with my friends I bring up my ex's as well - - however when I am in a "date" setting I only respond to direct questions about past relationships and if in a relationship I only mention the ex if it is to point out how much BETTER he is than my ex was!

[BillyGalbreath]

exactly - I dont talk about my ex's around other girls that I like, cause.. well, my ex's aren't on my mind at all when I am around a girl like that. lol

[Clifton]

dude billy guess what

[BillyGalbreath]

umm.... you got some BOOTY ? lol

[Clifton]

HAHAH how did u know i was going to say that? **** that ruined the whole joke.

[BillyGalbreath]

lmao ! I am good like that

[PandaCivic]

ya i noticed you always bring them up. kinda got annoying after a while but if that's how you need to live...then live...but just cuz you did stuff with them in the past, that doesn't mean they have to ruin your future. you had grade school friends before haven't you? do THEY stay in your memory? forget about them. the past is the past. you've watched "saving silverman" haven't you? whenever jason biggs mentioned his "widow" he'd get shocked in the balls by one of his friends via remote. watch that shit...