Dating other racial backgrounds

[prosejunkie]

The only thing that bothers me, as an Asian woman, are the guys we lovingly dub Asiaphiles. Who wants to date a guy who likes you because of stereotypes, even if they are true or flattering, or because it's trendy? Makes me sick. My first boyfriend was an Asiaphile, and he turned out to be a complete psycho. Never again.

On the other hand, I've never dated an Asian guy or even hooked up with one, so you can see how my tastes run.

Oh and one other thing. I'm not submissive, I can't stir-fry too well, I'm short but I wear a 36 D, and I'm loud. There are fabulous websites out there dedicated to bringing down these kind of stereotypes (but I can't advertise, so just google on your own.)

[Nice Lover Boy]

I'd be like, "Wow. I didn't know purple girls COULD be attractive.

I thought you said you'd never used the word, "like"?

[Zekk_T_Strife]

and actually zekk that is prejudice, peoples personalities have nothing to do with skin tones..

No, it's not prejudice. Prejudice by definition involved prejudging. I'm just saying a pattern I've found within different races. I specifically said that there are exceptions to all three of these things that I said, however I find more often than not that these seem to be the case. I re-emphasize. I don't blow someone off due to their race, although I do have a preference to asian girls.

[Clifton]

lol sorry but that is racism/prejudice..but i wont push this anymore...Cause we all know how angry white people act. I dont want to get shot.

[squirrley]

HOLY SHIT WHITEY HERE!!!! Im not angry...and if I do get angry I sure as hell wouldnt pull a gun on your ass! Some of us white people are actually sane...thank you.

[Clifton]

<white too but i was just pointing out what zekk was basically saying about the girls and theyre race/attitude, is just the same as what i said lol

[RainbowKiss_83]

I date people with the mentality that I'll be with them for a while. I don't typically casually date. I don't think I'd mind dating someone black or mexican, but I know I want to marry a white guy. I don't care what anybody else does, that's just my preference.

[MisINdpndT]

Well lets see.. my first b/f was hispanic. God that seems like forever ago. Then i dated back in my race. Then my Ex he is asian and white. HES A SEXY SEXY MAN

But my family is racist i was brought up around them saying stuff but i have never had a problem with it.If you love them and they treat you good them so be it danm it I cant tell you have many arguments i have had with my Grandparents about this. But to them its only about black and white couples. I dont get it...They still invite my Ex over. They love him as much as they love me and they brought me up... LOL Old people cant understand them but cant help but love them.

[Zekk_T_Strife]

<white too but i was just pointing out what zekk was basically saying about the girls and theyre race/attitude, is just the same as what i said lol

You aren't even taking time to understand my posts. It's oversensitive attitudes like that that keeps race an issue. Stop giving a shit.

[BillyGalbreath]

lol sorry but that is racism/prejudice..but i wont push this anymore...Cause we all know how angry white people act. I dont want to get shot.

I thought it was the Blacks that pulled the guns on the whites for no reason... Meh, idk anymore - I am so confused trying to stay "up-to-date-" with the racism shit.

In my world, color doesn't exist. I wish everyone lived here - it really is a peaceful place.

[sfalexi]

lol sorry but that is racism/prejudice..but i wont push this anymore...Cause we all know how angry white people act. I dont want to get shot.

Holy shit! THat's one of the funniest things I've seen on a forum in a LONG time!!!!! NICE CLIFTON!!!!

I'd be like, "Wow. I didn't know purple girls COULD be attractive.

I thought you said you'd never used the word, "like"?

I sometimes use the word 'like'. I just don't use it ALL the time. Or compose a sentence in which HALF of the words are "like". Although I do sometimes use it.

Rod Steele

[Clifton]

Giving a shit is my biggest flaw zekk. lol

[Breezy18]

I've never dated outside of my race either, but I live in Whitesville, Ontario, so not much selection really. But I've been attracted to many different races. It's a whole package thing with me. If they are physically pleasing, have MOST of the personality traits I look for and he likes me as well, then it really doesn't matter what race he is. I've said it before, what truly matters it what lies within.

[Prodigal]

The only thing that bothers me, as an Asian woman, are the guys we lovingly dub Asiaphiles. Who wants to date a guy who likes you because of stereotypes, even if they are true or flattering, or because it's trendy? Makes me sick. My first boyfriend was an Asiaphile, and he turned out to be a complete psycho. Never again.

On the other hand, I've never dated an Asian guy or even hooked up with one, so you can see how my tastes run.

Oh and one other thing. I'm not submissive, I can't stir-fry too well, I'm short but I wear a 36 D, and I'm loud. There are fabulous websites out there dedicated to bringing down these kind of stereotypes (but I can't advertise, so just google on your own.)

Asiaphiles? I've never heard that term before... you may have to explain that to me. Anyway, I don't think anyone wants to date someone who likes you because of stereotypes or trendiness. That is just shallow... in my opinion, only shallow people would want to date someone with shallow motives such as these.

I completely understand your feelings about not dating Asian guys. As an Asian guy myself, I feel a bit alienated in my culture. I don't really know the language (my parents didn't WANT me to learn Chinese or Japanese, even though my mother knows it. Nor did my mother ever send me to Chinese school, unlike some of my other Asian friends). Although I love Chinese and Japanese cultures (around 3/4 of my heritage), I admit that I don't know the language. Also, I'm not going to limit myself to dating Asian women exclusively. MANY Asian parents seem to want or nearly force their children to marry in the same race... especially Chinese parents, it seems. This isn't the case with all Asian parents... my parents are an example of parents who are very open-minded. My grandmother (mother's side) is an example of someone who DID think this way, however. She always wanted her kids to marry Chinese. Growing up in Mexico and the United States, this is a bit of a problem. Many of my relatives ended up not marrying Chinese; my mother married my Japanese/Irish father, other relatives married Hispanics and Middle Easterners. I still saw her trying to force an unmarried uncle of mine with a Chinese woman, and it didn't work.

I think that the problem is that since a lot of Asian parents really want their kids to marry in the same race (Mostly for pride for themselves or the family, or to not 'disgrace' their ancestors... others just don't think an interracial marriage for their child is right), many of the kids fall under this stress from their parents when they are young, and the child carries this need to marry in their own race to the next generation.

Anyway, I digress. As for that whole statement about the Asian guys... I don't really think that matters. As long as the person is compatible with you, does it matter if this guy is white, asian, hispanic, etc.?

I enjoyed your post, prosejunkie. Oh, and I think the stereotypes will always be out there. No website, book, TV show, or anything that could ameliorate these stereotypes. Many people are closed-minded, ignorant, stubborn, and blindly following society's unwritten 'laws'. Until society becomes less stereotypical about people, most people will remain closed-minded (and I don't think that society will change for the better anywhere in the near future).

To try to tie this in... I think my post showed you my thoughts about interracial dating. I am very open, and race isn't a factor for me. What matters to me is compatibility. As for other people in interracial relationships... I encourage it. I'm glad that people aren't afraid to be with someone they love, even if some people don't approve of it.

[Fawn]

but I live in Whitesville, Ontario, so not much selection really.

About 5 years ago, it was pretty similar in my city as well. There wasn't much diversity. Now, its normal to see anyone from any race around here. As far as I'm concerned it makes no difference. I consider it a good thing to have a mixed diversity of cultures.

My background was generally white males that I dated. But, its all in attraction and preference anyways. My current is arabic and it doesn't bother me at all. Although I am kinda scared of his mother (haven't met her yet). lol. She's very religious and from where they are from, your supposted to stay within your own culture. lol.