Wow I fail, or do I?

[swargolet]

This builds off all my other crap with my ex. I have been on this forum telling my story from where the problems arose, through the break-up and on and on and on....

Now we have some more fun! Well I came home this weekend, so really I came to the same house as my ex. We havent spoken for 3 months. Abotu 2 weeks ago she sent me texts pretty much saying she was missing me and crap. Oh BTW she has a bf and had him from the day we went out.
So... I'm home, very awkward between her and I. I didnt speak to her or really look at her. She would try and speak to me and I came back with small, simple, direct answers which was the best. But as the day progressed we became more talkative and eventually became more comfortable with eachother.
She then asked for a hug (she loves hugs and so do I especially long ones) sounds childish I know. Well this is where I should've said no, but I figured why not as most of my feelings have faded and hers are supposedly gone. Well this hug was outrageously long, and it started casual then slowly became to where we got a lot closer, pressing bodies on eachother, rubbing eachothers hair, back, etc...
Then when we finally split we are still holding eachother pretty close. Then it was like a tease game of how long it would take to kiss. I knew she wanted to which is bad since she has a bf (or prob had now). I knew in my head I shouldnt but with this guy I really didn't care as he was the guy that took her away > any other later bf I wouldnt have. Well so we started kissing, getting closer, and more intimate kiss. Then my father happens to walk downstairs(where we were) and so thats where it ended. It was probably for the best it ended there.

Well then I went to the kitchen and she followed and pretty much just talked and joked around. Then she started a texting convo. In the end it ended up with her saying "Wow that was fun" "And that felt good" etc...

So I guess I failed with my steps to recovery, but at the same time I really dont feel as if I changed much form this incident. Really none of the feelings came back its just blah. It kinda just feels like a night after a party and thats all.

Since this already happened there is nothing I can do to change that. I know it was a bad idea. You guys think I should leave it at that, or tell her what we did was wrong especially for her. I'm starting to think she is the type of girl that like that rush, that dangerous feeling and cheating does that for her, so probably best I am out of the relationship.

[Mish]

You are going to have a hard time moving on if you keep on 'bumping' into her like this.

[Cain]

I know from experience how hard it is to just cut off contact with someone that you cared about, but sometimes it's completely necessary to move on.

[lovesjoyajm]

The good thing is that this didn't bring all the feelings rushing back (assuming you're being honest about this.) That should make it easier for you to stay away from her.

[swargolet]

Yes I'm being completely honest that it didn't. I just pull one stupid move after another, like that night I stayed in bed with her although nothing extreme happened. Crap like that is just stupid. But i'm happy that it didn't stir up any feelings for her again. If anything it made me want to move on even more as I want something like that here at my college not back at home!
O well. Next week is spring break so I'll be home for half the week. I guess we'll see how that goes.

[Mish]

I think if you can't trust your will power alone then you need to physically relocate yourself to a place where you won't be seeing her.

[The_bobb]

Agreed, i don't think you have what it takes to say no when you need to say no... If you don't want the old familiar feelings to come rushing back in, stay away...

I honestly think you'd fool around with her if she pushed hard enough...

[Cbrider]

Sounds like you're getting sloppy seconds here, is it that good?

Seriously man, she cheated on you, probably had this dudes cock in her mouth. Is she going to scream his name when she pushes harder and you two end up sleeping together? Kick her ass to the curb man, you're going to beat the hell out of your emotions doing this.

I guarantee you that you wont be able to keep your old feelings at bay if you keep this up. You deserve better than her, shes a cheater. Tell her to have a good life, that you're not part of her circle of fire anymore.

Trust me, I did this game after I broke up, just end it now you will thank me later. When you finally get your mind out of its emotional funk you will see how many amazing girls there are out there. Hell, I don't have to look any farther than my next door neighbors. I moved into a different apartment next to four beautiful girls. Theres the token whore in the house, but the other three are all awesome girls and I mesh perfectly with them.

I'm not going to date any of them, but you wont know how awesome the opposite sex can be until you get away from the shitty representatives.

[swargolet]

Yes I know what I should do. With my situation I am unable to have her leave so it is really up to me and I know that Im the one screwing up. I did good the past couple months by not going home but this past weekend i had to go home to help my father with some things and this spring break I have to go home, but I already made plans to get out of the house to try and get myself away from this situation.
You guys are absolutely right that by me doing this, in the end it will most likely stir up feelings even if it isn't right now. I'm worried about that, but I'm more worried that if I do get a new gf that I would be unable to resist the urge to be with my ex. I have never cheated on anyone before and i don't plan to ever but if I can't say no with this what will stop me later? It will all come down to my actions in the end.

[Cbrider]

Then don't date until you know you can do it without dragging any remnants of your ex into it. I held off dating for a long time after my last break up because I knew inside I wasn't ready. Now I know I am ready and I am choosing to stay single because I enjoy it, lol.

[The_bobb]

Yeah being single rocks... you can mack on all the girls you want without worry. You can even hang out with your female friends without your girlfriend thinking your cheating on her. No more waiting for HOURS while she gets ready to go out when you were ready in 10min.

The freedom of being single is awesome. Go enjoy it. Stop beating yourself up over this succubus.

[Only-virgins]

Being single is awesome. Best part is when people ask you why. Like it is everyone's goal in life to not be single or some shit.

[The_bobb]

Being single is awesome. Best part is when people ask you why. Like it is everyone's goal in life to not be single or some shit.

My answer: "To have all the meaningless sex that you miss having." Couples love that...

[swargolet]

If only I could have that meaningless sex. I am never really in that place/time for it. I wish I was as it would be nice to explore a bit but as I'm not 21 bars are out of the question, and my college doesnt have many parties.

[Cbrider]

I'm ****ing 22 and you only get to be 20 something once, thats why! Call me irresponsible or a kid, I don't give a shit, its my life and i want to live it. I have 50+ years to be tied to that special someone, right now I am me.