How badly did I screw this up and how bad do I look?

[plsfoldthx]

ill try to keep this short... im 23 years old, never had a gf (i know), but am pretty fit and girls tell me im attractive... I couldnt confide this to anyone i know in person cause i probably couldnt tell it from all the cringing.

So I've been talking to this girl in my biology lab, she's a nice girl seems kinda innocent, but like I noticed her the very first day of class and started talking to her that very week. We'd just work on assignments together and sometimes sit next to each other and it would get pretty flirty. We'd call each other for help when assignments were due but nothing really. Like 3 weeks into the 10 week quarter her boyfriend comes up because of a question i asked.. but almost every girl i have liked has had a gf in the past... i dont meet a ton of girls i would date, but those that do always seem to have a bf... so before the last week of class on friday i said fk it ill just do it and learn from whatever happens and decide to ask her out... i was gonna ask her in person but she comes in late and finished after so I left but i really wanted to ask her out for the weekend so i shoot her a text and ask if shes out of class yet...

she calls me back and the convo goes something like this
her: hey whats up
me: hey i was just wondering if youd like to go out this weekend
her: pauses oh but we have a test (it was in the middle of the next week, obv no, lame excuse but heres where i get weird)
me: starts talking about test haha.. do u wanna get together on sunday? i'll call u sunday
her: ok

I call her on sunday around 1 to get lunch, turns out her church starts at 2 so i tell her id call her tomorrow. at around 2:30 i text her "what are you doing after"

she never responds... so i get the hint. but today i call her the day before the test to ask her a question like we always do and she doesnt pick up or even call back.

I cant help but feel i came off as creepy. Why couldn't she just tell me no she cant cause her bf or whatever instead of ignoring me and making it all weird? It's not like i cant handle it.

Ugh, thanks.

[ecojeanne]

because she saw you as a friend and then you changed in her eyes, thats why. she knows you want her and she thought you were friends. you need to back off for a while and maybe you can become friends again. she aint interested sorry

[plsfoldthx]

yea i understood i had no chance pretty quick... but i cant get over the cold shoulder... is she just too timid to confront the awkwardness or did i like really weird her out? does she think if she continues to talk to me ill just keep coming after her? im never gonna talk to her after this class at this point so why not just stay friendly?

how do u guys react in her situation?

[ecojeanne]

the cold shoulder is hard to deal with but it's the whole fact that she never saw you as potential, i'm sorry i know this is probably hard to take. better off just getting on and maybe if she likes you as a person she will at a later stage approach you as a friend again

[plsfoldthx]

Am I supposed to learn to recognize when I've been friend-zoned and just give up?

I'm fine with moving on and dont care if she contacts me back as a friend or what not, but I want to know what I could've done differently to have it end less awkwardly. Am I doing somethign wrong (other than asking her out when she has a bf, i know that never ends well now)... cause i feel like some weird creep right now.. please be honest, i can take it. whatever happens i need to learn from it

[electricity]

When someone's made it clear they're in a relationship and you still ask them out, you never look good. You either look like an arrogant asshole who doesn't care that other people are already committed, or like someone who doesn't really care and has already forgotten that she's mentioned being in a relationship - or worse, both. Neither makes you attractive.

Not only have you changed the way she perceives you (as a friend and nothing more), you've shown her your ugly side as a person. If you want to be evil, next time just ask her if she wants to study for the exam together. Work your way into her life so that you cut out the boyfriend, THEN ask her out after their relationship is goes bad. Or just be caring and ask her about the bf on a regular basis and when she mentions a fight or something, tell her you'd like to date her and would treat her better.

[jadelil25]

You just need to back off for a bit and give her some space. She explained that she has a boyfriend and probably was not expecting you to ask her out.

The best thing you can do is giver her some space and let her come to you. Im sure all will be fine, she just needs to have some time.

[plsfoldthx]

When someone's made it clear they're in a relationship and you still ask them out, you never look good. You either look like an arrogant asshole who doesn't care that other people are already committed, or like someone who doesn't really care and has already forgotten that she's mentioned being in a relationship - or worse, both. Neither makes you attractive.

Not only have you changed the way she perceives you (as a friend and nothing more), you've shown her your ugly side as a person. If you want to be evil, next time just ask her if she wants to study for the exam together. Work your way into her life so that you cut out the boyfriend, THEN ask her out after their relationship is goes bad. Or just be caring and ask her about the bf on a regular basis and when she mentions a fight or something, tell her you'd like to date her and would treat her better.

this actually works? i wouldve thought people would see right thru this and so i thought asking her out was just more honest

anyways, thanks for your advice guys. i learned a lot from this.

[plsfoldthx]

Ok, she sent me a text today it says "r u still at school" i think she wanted to talk to me... it was the last day of class. ive been so busy being pissed and confused the past few days that ive totally lost interest in her and didnt bother replying...

[Cain]

Ok, she sent me a text today it says "r u still at school" i think she wanted to talk to me... it was the last day of class. ive been so busy being pissed and confused the past few days that ive totally lost interest in her and didnt bother replying...

What reason do you have to be pissed at her? You crossed that imaginary boundary... not her. She ignored you for a bit... tough. You shouldn't have asked her out when she made it clear that she had a bf.