Asking those tough questions

[adams614]

Ok lets see how to start. I'm a married guy 26 who has been together with my wife for almost 10 years now, married for 2.5 years.
I love her no doubt and am very attracted to her in many different ways. We have discussed our sex life with each other numerous times due to its irregularity and her libido.
I feel like an ass putting any pressure on her about the subject but the irregularity really gets to me, we'll go a month and a half between intimate moments.
I am beginning to feel like she is giving up on doing anything to make her pretty for me, in the most basic way. I feel that she has become lazy in the past few years as far as even basic hygiene goes, brushing teeth, trimming her lady parts, etc. I am a very sensual person in the sense that smells and touch are big for me, i have numerous times pushed her away as her breathe is just not pleasant.
My first question is how the hell to a broach a subject like this without causing WWIII.

I met her in High School and one of the first things that attracted me to her was her confidence with her body, this is completely gone and I'm not sure what I can do. she is a beautiful curvy girl and I love that about her, yet she hates me touching her in certain spots because she feels fat, even though I have always told her otherwise.
In general I feel that she has thrown the towel in when it comes to our sex life, not putting any effort into it and I am left with trying to keep it alive, I pride myself on trying to look good for her, staying in shape, eating well, working out yet I get little of that from her.

I will certainly write more if i could get some advice on moving forward with some of these problems, I'm willing to work at whatever I need to get this marriage back on track.

[meko]

Join a gym and convince her to join with you. She will start feeling better and have more self confidence about herself when she starts losing weight.

Maybe the 2 of you could go out more. This will give her a reason to clean herself up but brushing your teeth? she shouldn't need a remainder to do that.

Try new things in your sex life,try using toys,foreplay,sexy stories,new styles etc etc. Try googling it will come up with loads of different things the 2 of you can try.

[CocoChanel]

I agree it's a 50/50 on the asking her to go to the gym though. She could feel insulted and it just might start the WWIII he's trying to avoid. I second the "going out more". That way you are showing her that you are not ashamed of her.

She is your wife and you should be able to communicate with her about anything. She might be depressed about something that's causing the neglect.

[adams614]

I'm trying not to seem like she doesn't take care of herself at all. She does, just not someways that help our sex life.
Growing up I had horrible eating habits, mostly with candy and junk food but I was a VERY active person so I never got fat.
She is by no means fat but she is always saying she is, and wanting to lose those last 5-10 lbs. As stated before she probable has a confidence issue.
I think my first step will be going out more, we currently go out at least once a week but like stated before this may push her maybe "freshen up" a bit. I try not to jump into an argument with her but its getting tough to be as attracted to her as I have in the past.
I'm in a situation where I am training for marathons and working out quite a bit, therefore I do not want crap for food in the house because it throws my training off. She on the other hand likes to keep the stuff around and get angry with me if I say anything about maybe we should not have it around. If she truly wants to lose those last 5-10 lbs and look better in her eyes than maybe she should lay off the Ice Cream, but of course there's no real nice way of saying this and so we get in a an argument about it.

[Junket]

F*ck it dude, do what you need to do to maintain yourself, if you start getting other female attention, good for you, maybe she'll straighten the f*ck up like an adult and do what's obviously best for her.

[IndiReloaded]

Ok lets see how to start. I'm a married guy 26 who has been together with my wife for almost 10 years now, married for 2.5 years.

I love her no doubt and am very attracted to her in many different ways. We have discussed our sex life with each other numerous times due to its irregularity and her libido.

I feel like an ass putting any pressure on her about the subject but the irregularity really gets to me, we'll go a month and a half between intimate moments.

Couple of suggestions:

1. Tell her what you wrote here^. Especially that you feel like an ass about the subject but that it matters to you. How you find her sexy, enjoy sex w/her, etc. As regards her appearance, use the phrase "I like it when you ____", as opposed to saying it negatively. If her weight is an issue, offer to support her in efforts to lose some.

2. Arrange for a weekly 'date night'. It need not be fancy, but if you two are going out someplace it will cause her to primp up.

[Pectabyte]

The awkward truth is she probably won't change while your married to her. In her mind why should she dress up or have sex with you? She already got the job of your wife. She doesn't need to audition anymore.

Sometimes people get lazy when they get married to young. Believe me I was there once.