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Thread: Scared to love again

  1. #1
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    Scared to love again

    Im 22. Ever since my first love when I was 17 and getting my heart broken, Ive found it hard to get close to anyone.

    When I first meet a new person, I often fall head over heels for them pretty quick, but then something kicks in and limits me to always just 'really liking' them. I dont want to get my heart broken again.

    Who's in the same / been in the same situation.

  2. #2
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    hate to burst your bubble, but there's no such thing as love....or santa clause...or easter bunny...

    they have all been invented for business purposes.
    The male is a domestic animal which, if treated with firmness, can be trained to do most things

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    mrdistant, what's the worst that can happen? That she doesn't love you back and you end up alone? It seems to me that what you're doing is making absolutely SURE that will happen.

    The risk you're afraid to take is not as big as the risk of having an empty life. Getting your heart broken is not the worst thing that can happen to you.
    Spammer Spanker

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    Quote Originally Posted by mrdistant View Post
    Im 22. Ever since my first love when I was 17 and getting my heart broken, Ive found it hard to get close to anyone.

    When I first meet a new person, I often fall head over heels for them pretty quick, but then something kicks in and limits me to always just 'really liking' them. I dont want to get my heart broken again.

    Who's in the same / been in the same situation.
    It's probably your brain telling you not to "fall in love" so quickly... since I don't think that is even possible. It takes a while to truly fall in love. Stop confusing infatuation with love.
    I don't chase, I replace.

  5. #5
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    Ah... this explains the 15 women you've been with and your reasons for questioning your girl about having 5 partners before you.

    All I can say is that you will fall in love, then you'll fall out of love, or get hurt by them... then start the process all over again... until you've learned enough and have found someone you are compatible enough with to actually make a relationship work long term.

    Till then, I'd suggest you pay attention, live for the moments while they last, and learn from all that you experience. Not much more you can do...
    "The weakest soul, knowing its own weakness, and believing this truth that strength can only be developed by effort and practice, will, thus believing, at once begin to exert itself, and, adding effort to effort, patience to patience, and strength to strength, will never cease to develop, and will at last grow divinely strong."

    - James Allen

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    Quote Originally Posted by Indignant View Post
    hate to burst your bubble, but there's no such thing as love....or santa clause...or easter bunny...

    they have all been invented for business purposes.
    So what Ive felt for people in the past is all fake, and really a human as no such thing as emotions?

    Quote Originally Posted by Cain
    Stop confusing infatuation with love.
    I do realise the difference between the two buddy. I went out with my last girlfriend for a year, and I found my feelings only went so far. I could never work out whether it was my brain kicking in as self protection to my heart, or was it just the girl herself? I couldnt fault her though...

    Quote Originally Posted by Aeradalia
    Till then, I'd suggest you pay attention, live for the moments while they last, and learn from all that you experience. Not much more you can do...
    I always do

    I guess it'll just happen when it feels right, and my brain decides its not going to try and protect me from the inevitable.

  7. #7
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    Quote Originally Posted by mrdistant View Post

    I guess it'll just happen when it feels right, and my brain decides its not going to try and protect me from the inevitable.
    Nah. I think opening up to people is an active choice you make. You're not just going to suddenly open up automatically when "the right girl comes along", you need practice.

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    Quote Originally Posted by lovesjoyajm View Post
    Nah. I think opening up to people is an active choice you make. You're not just going to suddenly open up automatically when "the right girl comes along", you need practice.

    Hmmm, thats what Ive been wondering .. "am I scared to love again.."

  9. #9
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    Quote Originally Posted by mrdistant View Post
    So what Ive felt for people in the past is all fake, and really a human as no such thing as emotions?

    love is caused by an offset of emotions based on lust attraction and attachment. Increases release of chemicals into your brain, is all it is.
    The male is a domestic animal which, if treated with firmness, can be trained to do most things

  10. #10
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    Quote Originally Posted by Indignant View Post
    hate to burst your bubble, but there's no such thing as love....or santa clause...or easter bunny...

    they have all been invented for business purposes.

    Do you seriously believe that?

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