guys what would you do? ladies feel free to give your opinion.

[Sixpacj]

"I think that your woman has the right idea. She is teaching you to respect sex in a way that if you want it, you have to work for it."

OMG, I call bullshit on this one! Where do you girls take all those crazy ideas from? Sex as a reward? "Respecting sex"???? Like it's something to be worked for??? Gaaaawd...

12many, get away from her as quickly as possibly as far as possible. She is playing you. If there is no sex (=intimacy and love), there is nothing there, she is keeping you around till she's found an upgrade. Of course, she likes you doing stuff for her, they all do, but I don't think she loves you. Sex is supposed to be a celebration of intimacy, closeness, love, openness. It is not supposed to be a currency to be used against the other person.

Seriously, just next her mate.

[12many]

You have moved pretty far off your topic, many.

You earlier said she freely gives you blow jobs but nothing more ... yet you encouraged us to believe that she is a whore because she was trading sex for favors.

Why not start over so you can tell us the true nature of your sexual relationship? I no longer believe you very much.

Carl.

my friend..... i see you are confused...okkkk lets say...

you and your S.O have been going out for 1 yr and sumthin months. since you've been together the only time you get to have sex with her is when you take her out to nice places, treat her dinner, buy her nice stuff, do something special for her...you know nice things..other than sex, im assuming you would want to get your shit sucked. correct? if not, then it's ok. so now lets say she does give you head, BUT you only get it once every 2-4 months. on top of what i just said, the most intimate things you guys do is make out. Also, during those 1 yr+ you've been together, you guyz have been "throwing" the words "i love you" to each other.

now the question is...how would you react to this situation? would you stay with her? cheat on her? or what?

[12many]

"I think that your woman has the right idea. She is teaching you to respect sex in a way that if you want it, you have to work for it."

OMG, I call bullshit on this one! Where do you girls take all those crazy ideas from? Sex as a reward? "Respecting sex"???? Like it's something to be worked for??? Gaaaawd...

12many, get away from her as quickly as possibly as far as possible. She is playing you. If there is no sex (=intimacy and love), there is nothing there, she is keeping you around till she's found an upgrade. Of course, she likes you doing stuff for her, they all do, but I don't think she loves you. Sex is supposed to be a celebration of intimacy, closeness, love, openness. It is not supposed to be a currency to be used against the other person.

Seriously, just next her mate.

"If there is no sex (=intimacy and love), there is nothing there, she is keeping you around till she's found an upgrade. "

hmmm thats what i thought too... but i too can play the same game...which im doing now....

[Naples]

The fact that she gives you felatio is a strong indication that she IS attracted to you and wants to please you. Maybe she has a phsyical or psychological dilemma about intercourse. Maybe it has nothing to do with you at all. Some women just do not enjoy sex. Was she into having sex with you in the beginning and then changed her habits?

[12many]

The fact that she gives you felatio is a strong indication that she IS attracted to you and wants to please you. Maybe she has a phsyical or psychological dilemma about intercourse. Maybe it has nothing to do with you at all. Some women just do not enjoy sex. Was she into having sex with you in the beginning and then changed her habits?

no not really...we only done it when i do nice things. one time was when we went to a dining cruise, it cruised around san francisco and it had a dj too. it also had a 8 course meal. after that dining cruise, we went home. i told her i was horny and i wanted to do it. she's like go ahead so i did, and what i noticed was she was not horny or she wasnt in to it. so far, most of em were like that. like, she only does it when i do nice stuff. also, she said that she only does it because i do nice stuff. I called her out about what she said that she only does it because i do nice stuff and she denied it.

lol confusing much?? sorry am in a hurry.

[LadieNisha4u2nv]

This thread reminds me of this joke I received in my email:

I never quite figured out why the sexual urge of men and women differ so much. And I never have figured out the whole Venus and Mars thing. I have never figured out why men think with their head and women with their heart.

FOR EXAMPLE:

One evening last week, my girlfriend and I were getting into bed. Well, the passion starts to heat up, and she eventually says, 'I don't feel like it, I just want you to hold me.'

I said, 'WHAT??!! What was that?!'

So she says the words that every boyfriend on the planet dreads to hear...

'You're just not in touch with my emotional needs as a woman enough for me to satisfy your physical needs as a man.'

She responded to my puzzled look by saying, 'Can't you just love me for who I am and not what I do for you in the bedroom?'

Realizing that nothing was going to happen that night, I went to sleep.

The very next day I opted to take the day off of work to spend time with her. We went out to a nice lunch and then went shopping at a big, big unnamed department store. I walked around with her while she tried on several different very expensive outfits. She couldn't decide which one to take, so I told her we'd just buy them all. She wanted new shoes to compliment her new clothes, so I said, 'Lets get a pair for each outfit.'

We went on to the jewellery department where she picked out a pair of diamond earrings. Let me tell you... She was so excited. She must have thought I was one wave short of a shipwreck. I started to think she was testing me because she asked for a tennis bracelet when she doesn't even know how to play tennis.

I think I threw her for a loop when I said, 'That's fine, honey.' She was almost nearing sexual satisfaction from all of the excitement. Smiling with excited anticipation, she finally said, 'I think this is all Dear, let's go to the cashier.'

I could hardly contain myself when I blurted out, 'No honey, I don't feel like it.'

Her face just went completely blank as her jaw dropped with a baffled, 'WHAT?'

I then said, 'Honey! I just want you to HOLD this stuff for a while. You're just not in touch with my financial needs as a man enough for me to satisfy your shopping needs as a woman.'

And just when she had this look like she was going to kill me, I added, 'Why can't you just love me for who I am and not for the things I buy you?'

Apparently I'm not having sex tonight either....but at least that bitch knows I'm smarter than her.

[alovehangoverr]

Hmmm. It sounds like something you need to discuss with her.

Her giving it to you as a reward for taking her out/buying her something/etc.. may be her way of showing you pleasure back.. but at the same time, it might come off as she's doing it out of obligation since you did something nice for her.. and that sort of defeats the purpose of why you probably took her out/bought her something-- not to get something back, but because you care for her.

Have you talked to her about this at all?

No one here is going to tell you to stay with her or leave her-- that's your choice. But don't cheat. Seriously-- if you want sex that bad and you're unhappy with the relationship, just end it.

[12many]

Hmmm. It sounds like something you need to discuss with her.

Her giving it to you as a reward for taking her out/buying her something/etc.. may be her way of showing you pleasure back.. but at the same time, it might come off as she's doing it out of obligation since you did something nice for her.. and that sort of defeats the purpose of why you probably took her out/bought her something-- not to get something back, but because you care for her.

Have you talked to her about this at all?

No one here is going to tell you to stay with her or leave her-- that's your choice. But don't cheat. Seriously-- if you want sex that bad and you're unhappy with the relationship, just end it.

yea i did but she just denies it or she say "hmmm....i dont notice that" or "hmmmm i dont do that." I dont do nice stuff just because i want it (sex). i do some of them because i care. but at times i think she's taking advantage of it. she just goes "ooo i want that, and that, and that, and that..." its endless of that "i want that" at times i dont really care cuz i got the money to pay for it but i dont buy it all the time, only the ones that matter =). i wanna save money for my EVO X too.

lol...i disregard it when people say "leave her" or something along those lines. i know that it's up to me, and the whole cheating thing. hahah, i wonder about that from time to time. yet i dont have the guts to do it because i believe in karm, and what goes around comes around twice as hard. at times i do think its appropriate to cheat because i have a reason to cheat....?

You guys might flame at me about what i just said "at times i do think its appropriate to cheat because i have a reason to cheat....?" Might even think im messed up, but iuno. i say that because i think or maybe i think too much into it, that i might be taken advantage of (money wise) aka gold digger, but maybe im just paranoid. hmmm paranoid isn't the word, i just forgot the word so i'll use that.

[CocoChanel]

I think that your woman has the right idea. She is teaching you to respect sex in a way that if you want it, you have to work for it.

I kinda agree with you but I don't at the same time.

If she wasn't sexing him after receiving a gift, etc... it wouldn't seem like prostitution.

If it were, "Yeah he's been changing his attitude..." something like that idk LOL then she gave him sex... that would look better than prostitution.

[alovehangoverr]

yea i did but she just denies it or she say "hmmm....i dont notice that" or "hmmmm i dont do that." I dont do nice stuff just because i want it (sex). i do some of them because i care. but at times i think she's taking advantage of it. she just goes "ooo i want that, and that, and that, and that..." its endless of that "i want that" at times i dont really care cuz i got the money to pay for it but i dont buy it all the time, only the ones that matter =). i wanna save money for my EVO X too.

lol...i disregard it when people say "leave her" or something along those lines. i know that it's up to me, and the whole cheating thing. hahah, i wonder about that from time to time. yet i dont have the guts to do it because i believe in karm, and what goes around comes around twice as hard. at times i do think its appropriate to cheat because i have a reason to cheat....?

You guys might flame at me about what i just said "at times i do think its appropriate to cheat because i have a reason to cheat....?" Might even think im messed up, but iuno. i say that because i think or maybe i think too much into it, that i might be taken advantage of (money wise) aka gold digger, but maybe im just paranoid. hmmm paranoid isn't the word, i just forgot the word so i'll use that.

Nope. You don't have a "reason to cheat."

Speaking as someone who has been cheated on-- no one deserves to have that happen to them, regardless of the situation. The fact that you'd even mention cheating simply because things in your relationship aren't up to par instead of just ending it is disgusting to me.

If you feel you "deserve" better or something more.. then end the relationship. Don't try to justify your potential bad decisions.

As for her being a gold digger.. have you tried just not buying her things for a while?

[The Wise]

for guys:

what would you do and how would you feel if your S.O dont feel like having sex with you at all? they would have sex with you, but only as a reward. like if you took them out somewhere special or you bought them a gift. other than that, they dont have sex with you. they dont initiate it or anything.

to add to that, say you guys been together for like a year and you guys love each other and everything. would you go crazy knowing that she dont wanna have sex with you?

"As a reward" certainly sounds wrong to me. If my wife gave me that impression, I would seriously worry. Not only it would mean that she doesn't like doing it anymore with me, but it would also mean that she's willing to do it against her taste in exchange for something material, which is in fact a sort of soft-prostitution... She certainly wouldn't be the person I've always known, so I really don't think this is going to happen to her, but if it had happened to me with a previous girlfriend, I think I would have probably considered ending the relationship.

On the other hand, it's normal for the sex drive to decrease after a few years of relationship. As long as it doesn't happen too soon (1 year is certainly too soon), it should not be taken as a sign of the relationship going bad! Usually it's a mix of reasons: the gradual fading of the relationship from the "head-over-heels" state to a different type of love, the stress and distraction caused by life (children, house, jobs), and simply the age. It's nothing to panic about, it should just be addressed with some intelligence, and if the two still love each other a balance will be found.

If it happens only 1 year or less into the relationship, then I would be a little worried, and I'd try to really understand the reason. There is always a possibility that the whole relationship was built on passion and attraction only, and can't continue, but first I'd try to make sure before taking some drastic decisions!

[Vinager]

If she is using sex as a sort of prize or reward I would feel very offended and would talk to her about it. I'd probably stop doing things for her, since she is basically being a prostitute.

[LadieNisha4u2nv]

It is not "basically" prostitution. You aint gotta be on the corner to be a prostitute.

[12many]

Nope. You don't have a "reason to cheat."

Speaking as someone who has been cheated on-- no one deserves to have that happen to them, regardless of the situation. The fact that you'd even mention cheating simply because things in your relationship aren't up to par instead of just ending it is disgusting to me.

If you feel you "deserve" better or something more.. then end the relationship. Don't try to justify your potential bad decisions.

As for her being a gold digger.. have you tried just not buying her things for a while?

"Speaking as someone who has been cheated on-- no one deserves to have that happen to them, regardless of the situation. The fact that you'd even mention cheating simply because things in your relationship aren't up to par instead of just ending it is disgusting to me."

yes i know what you mean. i too have been cheated on in the past, twice. Even though i think, i deserved it, it still hurts. I dont plan on cheating, it just wonders my mind. IF or WHEN i do fall for a girl, i plan on breaking things up with a current S.O first.

"As for her being a gold digger.. have you tried just not buying her things for a while?"

yes i have. she just bitches about how i dont give her the smallest things and she says to me that the smallest things are the most important ones cuz they add up. but then i was like, "bitch you always say everything is the smallest thing. so wtf is that whole cruise and shit i gave you then? was that small to you? cuz hell sure aint small to me."

SOME of the things i've done with her as a present or just fun things to do are;

dining cruise (she really wanted to do this one)
hot air ballooning (this too)
sunset cruise (and this)
whale watching (and this)
snowboarding (and this)
necklace and ring that matches (and this)
skydiving (this not so much, i wanted to do this and i just dragged her along and she hated it. She almost threw up while we were decenting. LOL i got it on tape.)

and right now she's talking about going to mexico this summer, because "it would really be beautiful and nice and hot and i would look cute in my bathing suit, and we would spend nice time together alone." thats what she said.

[alovehangoverr]

If you're planning on breaking up with her if/when you meet someone else.. then why continue to be with her and waste more of your money?

Dump her and go look for someone else now if that's ultimately your plan.