Easing the Sadness...

[Aeradalia]

I would avoid drugs at all costs. If you really have a mental disorder, then maybe you do need them. Typically drugs mask the problem. Fix the issues that are truly bothering or polluting you.

Stop putting garbage inside of you, stop using plastics, eat organic, avoid additives and artificial like the plague. Go natural. The world will brighten.

I do have a 'mental disorder'... it's in a file somewhere.. I'm sure, depending on which psychiatrist from childhood you talk to. The Fluoxetine did not feel 'unnatural'... I wasn't overly happy (a sign that the drug isn't necessary), and neither was I sadder or suicidal (a very bad sign the drug isn't necessary).

Hehe... Everything on the planet is 'natural'. Plastics save lives... ask the CDC. Organic food is questionable to say the least, considering I was in the country selling 'organic' food to city folk. Human's 'natural' food was carrion, occasional fresh raw meat, and lots of plant material covered with disease causing bacteria. So natural isn't necessarily better.

I generally avoid fast food, exercise, and keep myself rather entertained... yet the sadness remains... I do not intend to stay on this drug longer than necessary --- last time a few months was all that was needed before I was able to maintain the change on my own for a year or two.

I cannot afford the therapy that is required to truly 'fix' these underlying problems... but I can afford a temporary solution to help me reach a point to where I could. So in essence... it would be a means to an end.

[Aeradalia]

You talking about X? That experience can heal and bring depth to relationships. I will agree to that.

Nah... neither Ecstasy or Xanax (whichever you were talking about). Actually, I've never had either of them.

[vashti]

depression can be caused by overactive thyroid gland.

No - not by overactive thyroid function, but by underactive thyroid function.

Aeradalia, I don't think anyone should take antidepressants without being in counseling simultaneously.

It's been my impression that you very strongly identify with the victim-turn-survivor role. I think it is emotionally healthier to get to the point that you can let the past go and move on, especially given your history, which sounds like the source of a LOT of your pain. Maybe a counselor could help you get there (if you are ready to let go of that part of your identity).

Just my opinion, take it or leave it.

[IndiReloaded]

FWIW, D, I agree with Vash. Also about the thyroid thing, tho I think you are too young. Generally, this affects women post-childbirth and into middle age. Still, best to ask your doc.

[misombra]

my friend studying dom would say you have heart blood deficiency.

[CAM]

For me, at least, lots of exercise (every day at the gym for 1-2 hours) and sitting in the sun for at least 20 minutes. Makes a big difference. Wake up early and stand on the front porch for awhile listening to the sounds of the morning--makes you realize the good things in life (that's the best way to beat the blues...to think about the blessings)...medications/prescriptions...except for those with the darkest of dark depression, they are a hindrance rather than a help. I've only had to take X once but it was muscle spasm problems, not depression...it actually caused depression and for that reason, I figured it was better to just deal with the mild spasms through exercise, sleep, and a bit of sunshine...and they work quite well, for me at least.

[vashti]

A poorly functioning thyroid would also generally have other symptoms, such as weight gain (even with a decreased appetite), fatigue, feeling cold all the time, and constipation.

[Aeradalia]

A poorly functioning thyroid would also generally have other symptoms, such as weight gain (even with a decreased appetite), fatigue, feeling cold all the time, and constipation.

I've lost quite a bit of weight... but I've also been exercising (lost 3 inches off my waist... whoo hoo!)..

Went to the hospital recently due to fainting, shakes, pain, and a few other symptoms. Found out later on it was from dehydration. I tend to disregard pain... I can feel it, but I generally forget about it. So as a result I have to force myself to drink water throughout the day... and often times I have to remind myself to eat, since the hunger pains are so easily disregarded.

My heart rate is naturally high though my blood pressure is within normal range. Whenever I get upset, my blood pressure drops, my heart rate slows, I grow cold, shake all over, and if it continues, I will eventually pass out. I can be cold on a sunny day if there's a light breeze, so sometimes I wear a light sweater on a summer day. Though oddly enough, cold weather doesn't bother me too much... but I'm not sure if it's because I don't notice that I'm cold or not.

I'm not sure if any of that is relevant... but I have noticed such things.

[vashti]

Did they check your blood sugar?

[DoesntMatter]

Fluoxetine worked like magic for me. I've been on it for a little over 3 years now and it still works great

my friend studying dom would say you have heart blood deficiency.

? ... DOM stands for 2,5-dimethoxy-4-methylamphetamine if you ask me

[Aeradalia]

Did they check your blood sugar?

They checked everything... no diabetes, no common STD's, no drugs in my system (other than the ibuprofen I took that day), and only mild anemia. My heart rate is still within 'normal range' it's just at the higher end of it...

Fluoxetine worked like magic for me. I've been on it for a little over 3 years now and it still works great

Yeah... I might look into getting on Fluoxetine again... It's getting to the point to where my emotions change too quickly --- even for me to keep up. Hard to enjoy anything when shortly after a happy moment negative thoughts and feelings come into play to ruin it.

I feel like I'm stuck in one of those poems:

It's a beautiful sunny day,
I heard it was going to rain.

Rain will help things grow,
Flood waters can kill...
...Etc.

In regards to therapy and such... yes, I would very much like to do that... but at this point in my life it is not financially possible. However, I cannot advance in life if I cannot manage these intense feelings. So for now, I will have to take something to get that under control. When the possibility of undergoing therapy is available to me... I will take it.

I don't want to remain damaged like this forever... and the prospect of changing all of this is very much desired.

[Indignant]

No - not by overactive thyroid function, but by underactive thyroid function.

[url]http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hyperthyroidism[/url]

Major clinical signs include weight loss (often accompanied by an increased appetite), anxiety, intolerance to heat, fatigue, hair loss, weakness, hyperactivity, irritability, apathy, depression, polyuria, polydipsia, delirium, and sweating. Additionally, patients may present with a variety of symptoms such as palpitations and arrhythmias (notably atrial fibrillation), shortness of breath (dyspnea), loss of libido, nausea, vomiting, and diarrhea. Long term untreated hyperthyroidism can lead to osteoporosis. In the elderly, these classical symptoms may not be present.

[vashti]

[url]http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hyperthyroidism[/url]

Major clinical signs include weight loss (often accompanied by an increased appetite), anxiety, intolerance to heat, fatigue, hair loss, weakness, hyperactivity, irritability, apathy, depression, polyuria, polydipsia, delirium, and sweating. Additionally, patients may present with a variety of symptoms such as palpitations and arrhythmias (notably atrial fibrillation), shortness of breath (dyspnea), loss of libido, nausea, vomiting, and diarrhea. Long term untreated hyperthyroidism can lead to osteoporosis. In the elderly, these classical symptoms may not be present.

Wiki is less reliable than a medical source:

[url]http://www.mayoclinic.com/health/hyperthyroidism/DS00344/DSECTION=symptoms[/url]

BTW - I double checked with my medical books. They agree with the Mayo site.

EDIT: 'though I suppose it isn't *impossible* to be depressed with hyperthyroidism, it is not one of the symptoms commonly associated with it.

[IndiReloaded]

Dalia does seem kind of young for hypothyroidism. I know several 50+ women who had depression associated with hypothyroidism until they figured out what it was.

Hyperthyroidism is relatively easily diagnosed from what I understand. I knew a gal in grad school (20s) had it also a friend (late 30s) got treated last year. They tend to get things like buggie eyes and stuff also. She was pretty pale and generally looked like crap. It also tends to run in families. Its pretty easily treated with radiolabelled iodine, I think.

Dalia: If you are skinny like a rail and eat like a horse, always too hot/cold, eyes tend to bug out, tendency to manic activity, high heart rate, etc. then go see your doc.

[doppelgaenger]

Maybe instead of feeling sorry for yourself, you should go outside and draw. I'm sure the weather's warm there, right? Stop spending so much time sitting in front of your computer and visiting this place. Maybe when you finally get out and do something, you'll feel better.