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Thread: depression?

  1. #1
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    depression?

    This is kinda hard to explain for me, so if there is confusion ask questions, may be easier to explain through questions.

    so, im not sure whats wrong but past 9-12 months or so ive been feelin depressed. I for some reason dont want to allow my self to be happy with another person(girl). I will even stop my self from flirtin with any girls im attracted to(I wont touch them in a flirty way, even if they try to touch me, i wont use any flirty wording). Ive started acknowledging it and want to stop this but for some reason i wont allow myself to stop. Before all this started i was only truly happy when i was with someone i cared about any other time i was in a deep state of depression and self pity. Along with not allowing myself to want to be with someone and be happy, ill also tell myself that they can find someone better who will make them happier than i ever could.

    Like right now ive been hanging out with 2 different girls that i find very attracting and would like to ask one of em out. But like i said i will keep myself from flirting with them. Some times i will even decline hanging out with them so that they don't think i want to hang, so that they wont start liking me, etc,etc. I wont allow myself to be around any girls i would have sex with either.

    So im not sure if i should tell someone and get help, if i need help.. cuase im not a person to but a burden on anyone. I would rather handle it on my own than have someone else have to bother with their time helpin me.(if i need help.)

  2. #2
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    i would like to help you, but i just dont know what to say. i really understand you're message and its really sad. i dont know. just do whatever makes you feel happy. aslong as you make people happy its not a burden

  3. #3
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    son dont get down, tha fo cornballs... yous gotta gets it in like hard body... dont stop B

    ~1

  4. #4
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    Quote Originally Posted by hopefulkid View Post
    i would like to help you, but i just dont know what to say. i really understand you're message and its really sad. i dont know. just do whatever makes you feel happy. aslong as you make people happy its not a burden
    bein with someone would make me happy, but i dunno, i ve been sitting and thinking of why im like this and why i wont change.

  5. #5
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    Quote Originally Posted by First View Post
    son dont get down, tha fo cornballs... yous gotta gets it in like hard body... dont stop B

    ~1
    do what? lol

  6. #6
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    i know what it's like. you dont know why and you just keep getting deeper in self pity. i've been depressed 2 times in the last 3 years. both times lasted a couple months. it sucks. all i got for you is let yourself go. it's okay to be happy. dont let you be the one to hold yourself back. i had to figure that out on my own and pull myself out of my whole. but if i didnt know my friends would be there when i got up i dont think i would have been able to do it. still get help. if you think you need it go. it took me montsh to get out by myself and i wish i had it in me to have gotta the help i need at the time. i could have been happier sooner and longer

  7. #7
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    Quote Originally Posted by rateyes View Post
    do what? lol
    liv life mo, getz its in, dont be down... tha fo cornballs tha feels sad.

  8. #8
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    well as ive been thinkin, i think it may have soemthing to do with i dont think i could make someone happy with what i have to offer, im a laid back,quiet,chill guy who would rather chill than party etc but like wood type envirnments(hiking, mountain climbing) alone or few people. I guess i dont think anyone would like this, and would jsut end before it started leavin me high and dry. it all seems stupid to me when i say it, but some reason holds me back.

  9. #9
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    If you keep telling yourself you couldn't possibly make someone else happy... then put it to the test.

    Take a chance... flirt with the ladies... if one takes interest in you... follow where it may lead... if a relationship is formed... then put your best effort into it... and see if the person you're with is indeed happy.

    It's a good bet... if you're wrong... then you've failed and actually made someone happy... wow.. imagine that! And if you're right, then you land right back in depression (how's that any different than now?).

    You have nothing to lose and everything to gain. Prove yourself wrong... put your best effort into all of this... it's better than just moping around.. isn't it?
    "The weakest soul, knowing its own weakness, and believing this truth that strength can only be developed by effort and practice, will, thus believing, at once begin to exert itself, and, adding effort to effort, patience to patience, and strength to strength, will never cease to develop, and will at last grow divinely strong."

    - James Allen

  10. #10
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    I agree with everything Aeradalia said, of course.

    Also, you need to realize that YOU'RE in control of your emotions (unless it's a clinical depression - maybe you should talk to a doctor?) and you need to make the choice to be happy. Luckily for you, it seems everything you're describing is rather self-inflicted. So you yourself can take active steps to stop it - it's not like girls don't flirt with you, girls aren't interested in you, or anything else that's just out of your control is happening.

    1. Make the choice to flirt! This is one thing that you're not going to regret! Flirting is just a fun way of interacting with people, so even if you make this choice and nothing directly comes of it, you'll probably put yourself in a better mood just by doing it and realizing you can.

    2. Make the choice to hang out with these girls and DON'T blow them off. It's a choice, remember.

    3. Make the choice to do something that YOU enjoy that's independent of your love life.

    4. Choose your attitude! (Anyone seen Fish?) This is really, really important! Depression is real, but you are the one who can bring yourself out of it. If you act happy long enough even though you have some depression deep down, you might be able to train yourself out of feeling sad every day.

    Like Aeradalia said, you have everything to gain here. It sounds like you have things going for you, just go get them.

  11. #11
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    There is always a choice and there is no need to fear failure. If you are not asking out the girls you like, you are automatically choosing to fail.
    Don't cry, don't regret and don't blame
    Weak find the whip, willing find freedom
    Towards the sun, carry your name
    In warm hands you are given
    Ask the wind for the way
    Uncertainty's gone, your path will unravel
    Accept all as it is and do not blame
    God or the Devil
    ~Born to Live - Mavrik~

  12. #12
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    son u still sad?

  13. #13
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    dont let fear run your life because you'll only miss out on things if you

  14. #14
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    Quote Originally Posted by rateyes View Post
    This is kinda hard to explain for me, so if there is confusion ask questions, may be easier to explain through questions.

    so, im not sure whats wrong but past 9-12 months or so ive been feelin depressed. I for some reason dont want to allow my self to be happy with another person(girl). I will even stop my self from flirtin with any girls im attracted to(I wont touch them in a flirty way, even if they try to touch me, i wont use any flirty wording). Ive started acknowledging it and want to stop this but for some reason i wont allow myself to stop. Before all this started i was only truly happy when i was with someone i cared about any other time i was in a deep state of depression and self pity. Along with not allowing myself to want to be with someone and be happy, ill also tell myself that they can find someone better who will make them happier than i ever could.

    Like right now ive been hanging out with 2 different girls that i find very attracting and would like to ask one of em out. But like i said i will keep myself from flirting with them. Some times i will even decline hanging out with them so that they don't think i want to hang, so that they wont start liking me, etc,etc. I wont allow myself to be around any girls i would have sex with either.

    So im not sure if i should tell someone and get help, if i need help.. cuase im not a person to but a burden on anyone. I would rather handle it on my own than have someone else have to bother with their time helpin me.(if i need help.)
    Speak to a doctor you can trust. Some might not know how to react but there are some good doctors that may be able togive you good referals.

    Maybe its the weather? (seasonal mood disorder)
    Maybe you have a thyroid problem?

    Cognitive therapy might help you. There might be stuff on the net about it.
    I want a girl who likes to talk. ......I just dont know what to say sometimes and would rather just listen.

  15. #15
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    Quote Originally Posted by First View Post
    son u still sad?
    not as much as before, if anything lookin back i could say bipolar. usually happy for a few months get down etc. but your words have helped me and i actually talked to one of the girls in the hall today, startin the convo.

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