just need to vent

[somethingelse]

i dont know what to say. just a lot of memories. well me and my ex broke up about 3 months ago. i know everything sould be fine now but it's not. we dated for almost 2 years. i'm just alittle mixed up when i'm around him and his new girlfriend. i dont love him anymore. i think that may have stopped before we even broke up but it's still hard with the past. i want them to be happy i really do. she one of my friends and i will them happiness it's just he was me first love. he was my first kiss. this is why it's so hard to be friends with an ex. the past. the feelings may be gone but the memories wont leave me alone. i was just happy up to the last few month of our relationship. the last month being the most pain full because i could tell it was ending. but once it ended i was fine. i was happy. i just felt so free but it hurt to see him. i dont know why it just does. the magic is gone but how could i be so happy when it ended the feel pain whenever i see him? i want us to be friends. we are but it just so weird now. i just dont know what to do.

[lahnnabell]

Sounds like you're hurting still. You see him happy in another relationship and you wonder why it couldn't have been you.

Stop giving your attention to their situation. Go make some new friends. Join a group of some kind. Don't hang with them though. Seriously, who wants to watch their ex cozy up to someone else? Not me! Over it or not, it still burns.

You can't rush friendship in this situation. You can't pretend you're not hurting when you clearly are. Deal with your stuff, take care of yourself.

[somethingelse]

i know. i know. and i'm trying. i have a few new friends but their still my friends and if i just aviod them it will only make them feel bad. plus were all go to the same church group and i dont want to quit. i like it there. still that's really the only time i see them anymore. and i'm more hanging out with another friend while i'm there.

[lahnnabell]

Well, this situation isn't really about THEIR feelings right now. It's about you doing what you need to do to be okay and healthy. This is not the ideal situation for that.

If you need to, take one of them aside and lay it out. Explain that it's too much to handle and ask them to be understanding. If they care about you like they say they do, they will understand and let you do what you need to. They can't expect you to hang around because it makes them feel about the situation. They chose to date, so this is what follows. You need time and space to heal.

There is no shame in that. Any true friends will understand this, or make an honest attempt to.

[somethingelse]

i may try that