what should i do?

[senjohn]

I had a relationship that has been more than 5 years. Recently my girlfriend told me that she has fall for someone and slept with him. She told me that this happen because all the while I don’t show much love and care in our relationship. She said that when she had any problem or unhappy issue to tell me, I will just neglect her and think that her problem/issue is not a problem at all and ignore her. But in fact she said all she need is a listening ear and care. So thing happen…….
This happens recently when this guy who often went out with my girlfriend show care and concern for my girlfriend, my girlfriend somehow had some feeling for this guy and slept with him.
I admit I’m not the kind of boyfriend who are always romantic and always show care to my girlfriend and maybe that is why this thing happen.

What should I do? I love my girlfriend and I believe she still love me too. But I am confused, should I let go this relationship? Or should I forgive her, because I feel that I am in the wrong as well for neglecting her all the while.

[Anomaly]

Listening and trying to give advice is the most important thing in a relationship as far as I'm concerned. If you didn't provide her with enough comfort and concern, she found somebody who did. It's important that you know how this problem came about, now you at least have a chance to work it out, if you so choose. So if you intend to fight for her, and win her back, you will have to forgive her, understand, and be a better listener in the future. Or if you're not ready to do that, you should just let her go. Best of luck to you!

[senjohn]

Listening and trying to give advice is the most important thing in a relationship as far as I'm concerned. If you didn't provide her with enough comfort and concern, she found somebody who did. It's important that you know how this problem came about, now you at least have a chance to work it out, if you so choose. So if you intend to fight for her, and win her back, you will have to forgive her, understand, and be a better listener in the future. Or if you're not ready to do that, you should just let her go. Best of luck to you!

But she did this while we are still together and isn't this something very wrong right?

Can she still be trusted?

[Spring Haze]

There's no excuse for cheating. If she was that desperate, she should've broken up with you before getting with this guy. Break up.

[Anomaly]

Yes, that is definitely wrong. But it's not entirely her fault 100% if she is right about you not listening to her. I could see that after a few years that would get old, and anybody would gravitate towards somebody who will listen. Granted, she should have broken up with you first, so maybe she can't be trusted, that's up to you to find out.

[timeless86]

I had a relationship that has been more than 5 years. Recently my girlfriend told me that she has fall for someone and slept with him. She told me that this happen because all the while I don’t show much love and care in our relationship. She said that when she had any problem or unhappy issue to tell me, I will just neglect her and think that her problem/issue is not a problem at all and ignore her. But in fact she said all she need is a listening ear and care. So thing happen…….
This happens recently when this guy who often went out with my girlfriend show care and concern for my girlfriend, my girlfriend somehow had some feeling for this guy and slept with him.
I admit I’m not the kind of boyfriend who are always romantic and always show care to my girlfriend and maybe that is why this thing happen.

What should I do? I love my girlfriend and I believe she still love me too. But I am confused, should I let go this relationship? Or should I forgive her, because I feel that I am in the wrong as well for neglecting her all the while.

Thats where I stopped reading. You should break it up. She cheated on you and who's to say she wont do it again? Break Up.

[timeless86]

Yes, that is definitely wrong. But it's not entirely her fault 100% if she is right about you not listening to her. I could see that after a few years that would get old, and anybody would gravitate towards somebody who will listen. Granted, she should have broken up with you first, so maybe she can't be trusted, that's up to you to find out.

Yes it is. Its 100% her fault. She slept with someone else. THATS 100% HER FAULT!

[Aeradalia]

You cannot drive someone into the arms of another person --- you cannot make someone cheat on you. So get that notion out of your head. How dare she guilt you into accepting HER responsibility.

This is what a RESPONSIBLE person would have done in her position. She feels neglected... she tries to sit you down and talk about the relationship. If this doesn't work... then she may try a few more times to get your attention. If this still doesn't work... then she will break up with you and finally have a chance to explain to you about all the neglect she had felt. At that time... it would be determined if the relationship can be salvaged (because you finally gave her a chance to get through to you) or a reconciliation is not possible.

An irresponsible bitch would go out... spread her legs for another man while still with you... tell you that she's found someone 'better' than you... and then cruelly try to guilt trip you into accepting the blame. Thus this woman (hate to accept her as part of my gender) has not only been unfaithful to you... but she has the audacity to make you accept responsibility for it.. which is outright bullshit.

If you were neglectful.. then learn from it.. but don't you dare think it was your fault she chose to cheat on you. What she did was far worse than what you may or may not have done.

[doppelgaenger]

Stick it in her ass next time. You know, let it 'accidentally' slip in. Enjoy the momentary sphincter spasms while they last. Why not? Might as well try every flavor at the icecream parlor before it closes down.

That's what you should do.

[Anomaly]

Relationships consist of 2 people, not just one. OK, I'll give you that it was 99% her fault, but maybe if he would have been a better partner, maybe even just 1% better, she wouldn't have had to search for comfort from somebody else. But all of my relationships combined haven't lasted 5 years, so what do I know anyway, right?

Yeah, I don't give up easily.. I'm stubborn, always searching for alternative causes to any situation!

[doppelgaenger]

I think when someone cheats, you have several faults. In most cases, cheating seems to be the result of poor communication... in which case is both persons' faults. Most people who decide to cheat are proving to their partners that they are selfish and can't properly communicate their needs. But sometimes, the person who is cheated on doesn't treat their partner right... or maybe they are too dumb to understand their partner's needs. It's all how you look at it.

How are you going to judge yourself, senjohn? Do you think she is selfish and has disproven her ability to be a good partner? Do you think you're an idiot that treats her wrong, or is too stupid to understand what she needs? Or are you el desperado, just hanging by the threads because you're too afraid to see what else swims in the waters of love? What is it John? We can't do much for you. We can only tell you which questions to ask yourself.

[senjohn]

I do feel that i am an idiot that treats her wrong and too stupid to understand what she needs.................

I think when someone cheats, you have several faults. In most cases, cheating seems to be the result of poor communication... in which case is both persons' faults. Most people who decide to cheat are proving to their partners that they are selfish and can't properly communicate their needs. But sometimes, the person who is cheated on doesn't treat their partner right... or maybe they are too dumb to understand their partner's needs. It's all how you look at it.

How are you going to judge yourself, senjohn? Do you think she is selfish and has disproven her ability to be a good partner? Do you think you're an idiot that treats her wrong, or is too stupid to understand what she needs? Or are you el desperado, just hanging by the threads because you're too afraid to see what else swims in the waters of love? What is it John? We can't do much for you. We can only tell you which questions to ask yourself.

[Pectabyte]

There is never an excuse to cheat. If she was unhappy she should have broke up with you. DUMP HER. If you stay with her your sending the message that it is okay to cheat to get what she wants.

[senjohn]

Now i gave her a chance by forgiving her......................
I tell her that i do not mind and will forgive her for that mistake she made. What done is done right? I will look forward to our future and forget abt the past........

Yet she said she need few days to settle and decide who she want to be with......

time to let go!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!? anyone can give me some reason why i should not let go this relationship?

Thanks in advance

[Pectabyte]

Your an idiot...