Help a Shy Guy Get the Girl He Deserves!

[-James-]

Hi Everyone

I consider myself a really decent guy and get on well with everyone male and female. I have a good sense of humour and love making people laugh. I've never really wanted a very serious relationship, I've had the odd-girlfriend now and then but until recently, my feelings have totally changed.

I've been working with this girl for 6 months but she had to leave recently because there wasn't enough hours for her. In that time, we became good friends and sort of close and we're still keeping in touch. I've always been attracted to her but since she left the workplace, it hasn't been the same without her. The thing is, she means the world to me, her personality, her looks and just who she is has changed my life and restored confidence in my mind that there is better people out there than some of the girls I have gone out with in the past.

Im 23 and She is 19 and I think about her all the time and I just cant see that anyone else can be as lovely as she is.

A couple of weeks ago, she visited me and we went for a drink and had a good laugh together but I just dont have the confidence or bottle to tell her how I really feel. I don't want to destroy what we have but life is too short and I cant let someone this special go. I really don't know what to do now or how to approach the situation. I don't know how she feels and to be honest, my negativity will tell my brain that she is not interested.

At the moment, I'm feeling down and I have alot of worries in my life, but I don't see my problems clouding my mind over the feelings I have for this girl. I am the kind of person who is scared to open-up to people and talk and say how I feel. I can gamble money and take chances but I can't see to gamble in love.

Can anyone advise me on what to do/say in this situation?

Thank you

James

[carl1222]

Hi Everyone

I consider myself a really decent guy and get on well with everyone male and female. I have a good sense of humour and love making people laugh. I've never really wanted a very serious relationship, I've had the odd-girlfriend now and then but until recently, my feelings have totally changed.

Can anyone advise me on what to do/say in this situation?

Thank you

James

Taking your post at face value, that you are NOT shy except around someone you really like, then I can only assume it's fear of rejection that's holding you back.

Visualize this ... you ask her out and says the WORST possible thing for you to hear ... "Sorry, James, but I just don't think of you that way." Rejection sucks.

But how is that really any worse than you rejecting yourself by doing nothing? Ask her out!!!

Try to keep your ego out of it. Getting rejected sometimes is a part of life. It doesn't make you generally less worthy or less attractive. It's just one girl's reaction. It sounds like you have great qualities so she'll probably say yes, but on the off-chance she says no, nothing ventured nothing gained.

Carl.

[-James-]

Cheers, thanx for the response!

[NeoSeminole]

the title of this thread in incorrect. In life, you get what you deserve. Why do you deserve a girl as amazing as you describe when you lack the confidence to make a move?

[F OOT]

Try hitting her.

[Cbrider]

I don't want to destroy what we have but life is too short and I cant let someone this special go.

You contradict yourself in every way with this statement. Rejection is part of life, its the part that makes you grow whether you want to or not. Love is a gamble from the get go, your gambling every time you look at a girl...risking she will catch you staring.

If you approach every situation with what you're putting on the line, you're selling yourself short. There is a direct correlation between what your willing to risk and what reward you reap. You said it yourself, life is too short, plus if you avoid the women that make you nervous and go after an easy one your potential marriage will reflect your mediocre catch.

It wont screw up your friendship, trust me. My best female friend basically asked me out a few months ago, unfortunately I don't reciprocate the same feelings and had to explain that to her. Yeah she was sad and it was a bit strange for the next few days, but nothing was a permanent change, we're still best friend.

Step up, if it falls into your hands with little or no work its probably not worth it