First date with Ex-gf....what now?

[cccchase]

My girlfriend and I broke up about a month ago. (She broke up with me)... and I want her back. I have been very patient... almost no communication, I waited a month before I called her. I asked her out for coffee and she agreed. She actually said she was excited to see me. I want to get her back. The reason she broke up with me was the "trust factor" problem in our relationship... I lied to her on a few occasions, and the most recent lie was when she broke things off with me. Now I dont know what to do on this "date", what I really want to do is tell her I still have feelings for her, and that I know we can make this work if her heart is still in it. I want to tell her I know she is the one girl I want to spend my life with... but is this the actual best strategy? Would it be more benificial to me to just act nonchalant like everything has been fine and that im OK without her?

What to do? I would love a girls perspective. We went out for 3 and a half years. Thanks.

[Indignant]

what was the lie about?

[cccchase]

I went somewhere and told her I was at a different place... I just didnt want to hear her shit because the place I actually went to she told me never to go.

[Lonely Island]

I went somewhere and told her I was at a different place... I just didnt want to hear her shit because the place I actually went to she told me never to go.

Damn, 3 years and she broke up with you for that?

Harsh

[Gigabitch]

Can you be honest with her in the future? Apparently, this is a dealbreaker for her. If you can't, don't waste her time. Right now, she's hoping to hear that you've missed her terribly and have mended your lying ways.

[cccchase]

oh god yes I have changed my ways... is there still a chance we can get back?

[Gigabitch]

Maybe you should do a Wiki search for "groveling".

Yes, I think you can get her back. Just don't be a giant liar-head any more.

[Naples]

I don't know if this is true of all females, but it certainly is true of me. When I break up with guys I have been in long, loving relationships with, the last thing I want is for them to be "patient" and wait a month to contact me. I want them to text me 3 times a day, send me flowers once, call me once a week and reassure me they still love me and can work on the problem. Anyway, you can't undo the past. It's been a month... she wants to see you (she's been waiting 4 weeks, which seems like an eternity, for you to grow a pair) Coffee is a good strategy, that way she's not afraid you'll go right for the zipper on her jeans... Don't play it cool :-) Tell her how miserable you've been without her. Tell her no other girl could even get you interested. Tell her you'll do anything to rekindle and solidify the relationship.

[cccchase]

well.. went on the date. got coffee, went on a picnic that I packed... and guess what? I spilled my guts and she said she doesnt want a relationship right now. But she got teary eyed when I talked about this stuff... I know she still has some of those old feelings. So after I dropped her off I sent her an email and said: I know you still have some of those old feelings, save that small part of your heart for me and I might impress you one day by being the man you deserve. Now I dont know what to do.

[Cbrider]

well.. went on the date. got coffee, went on a picnic that I packed... and guess what? I spilled my guts and she said she doesnt want a relationship right now. But she got teary eyed when I talked about this stuff... I know she still has some of those old feelings. So after I dropped her off I sent her an email and said: I know you still have some of those old feelings, save that small part of your heart for me and I might impress you one day by being the man you deserve. Now I dont know what to do.

Move on, thats really all you can do man. Its not fun, but believe me, sitting and waiting for her is MUCH more painful. Judging from her reaction this was not how she wanted things to end, shes hurting and needs time to heal and gather herself.

Leave her be, don't send her emails and texts reminding her that you are thinking about her. You made mistakes, learn from them, thats the best thing you can do for yourself at this point. She broke up with you, if she still holds feelings for you, she will find you.

[Gigabitch]

So after I dropped her off I sent her an email and said: I know you still have some of those old feelings, save that small part of your heart for me and I might impress you one day by being the man you deserve. Now I dont know what to do.

Be that guy. Whether she ever takes you back or not, it's important that you realize the damage you can do by lying. The most important thing right now is that you learn your lesson.