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Thread: Is it really any of her business...

  1. #1
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    Is it really any of her business...

    ...who I'm friends with?

    My gf keeps telling how I shouldn't bother being friends with certain people cus they are stupid...basically just cus she don't like them.

    Earlier on my mate told this guy that I didn't like him, and fair enough I did say that, and my gf asked me why I let my friends be complete dicks towards me. She claimed that my friend was a complete duck just because he had told this guy what I said. I wasn't bothered at all. In fact the convo/argument with this guy afterwards was quite entertaining. But she started calling me stupid for being friends with these people. So I told her it was fair enough that she didn't like them but not to tell me who I should and shouldn't be friends with, and she replied with...
    oh you know what **** you. I haven't told you shit I just said how ****ing stupid you are for having friends like them!

  2. #2
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    Quote Originally Posted by Fuel View Post
    I just said how ****ing stupid you are for having friends like them![/I]
    Doesn't sound very nice does it?

    That right there would be grounds for break up (for me personally).
    Don't cry, don't regret and don't blame
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    Maybe she can see the truth in people more than you can. Are your friends ACTUALLY good for you? If you added 10 years to your age and imagined yourself as any of your friends now, is that who you would want to be? If the answer is that you would not want to be them... Then she is right.

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    Quote Originally Posted by GemStar View Post
    Maybe she can see the truth in people more than you can. Are your friends ACTUALLY good for you? If you added 10 years to your age and imagined yourself as any of your friends now, is that who you would want to be? If the answer is that you would not want to be them... Then she is right.
    I don't really think that's the point. I think everyone has friends that they know probably won't be long-lasting "friends forever," situations.. I mean, are you still best friends with the person you were friends with grown up? Probably not. It happens as people get older.

    The point is, she's verbally attacking him for choosing to be friends with these people simply because she doesn't like them. Unless they're putting him in dangerous situations with alcohol/drugs/etc.. than I'd say she should shut her mouth and suck it up.

    My boyfriend has friends that I'm not particularly fond of, but I'm not about to try and control him and tell him he CAN'T be friends with that person. The fact that she responded the way she did really gives off the sense that she knows she's out of line.. you don't get THAT defensive when called out on something unless you know you're likely in the wrong.

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    Nice. You're surrounded by assholes, and your girlfriend is one of them.
    Spammer Spanker

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    Quote Originally Posted by Gigabitch View Post
    Nice. You're surrounded by assholes, and your girlfriend is one of them.
    Ha!!!!

  7. #7
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    I suspect she is probably right, and the reason she objects to your putting up with people treating you like crap is because you appear to be weak and wimpy, and that is an embarrassing quality to see in your boyfriend, which of course diminishes her level of respect for you. Ironically, you probably were attracted to this girl because she is your polar opposite: she is strong when you are weak, and she probably likes you for being gentle towards her when she isn't capable of being gentle with herself. Unfortunately, as you both grow into your adult selves, she will probably begin to hate your softness, and you will begin to hate her strength, and you will end up breaking up and looking for someone who is more balanced.

    Does she have the right to object to your friends? Yes. She doesn't have to like your friends, but she certainly can't demand you get rid of them. She should just break up with you if she finds the situation too distasteful. however, it doesn't sound like she demanded you get rid of them. She's just telling you they are assholes (unless I missed something).
    Last edited by vashti; 08-04-09 at 01:43 AM.

  8. #8
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    While it's her business who your friends with it's not her place to tell you who you can and can not be friends with. She has every right to know who you spend your time with but that's it. If she doesn't like them then she doesn't have to spend time with them. There your friends not hers. With my ex i had friend he didn't exactly like and didn't really understand why i was friends with. He let me know how he felt but never once said i was stupid for being their friend or that i shouldn't be their friend.

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    vashti-- Try to go light on the positive outlook!! Lol!

  10. #10
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    what you should do is evaluate what she's said think about it but really, let her know that's not the way to approach your friends for starters. secondly if after you've thought about it you want to maintain the relationships with you friends tell her it's not up for discussion, explain why, etc.
    most importantly, why wouldn't she be getting along with your friends in the first place, she should BE one of them!

  11. #11
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    "Bros before Hoes" xD

    Seriously, try to work things out, (talk with her etc.) and if that doesnt work decide who you like most and drop the other.

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