I can't move on from my ex

[Gigabitch]

You're asking for advice on how to get him back but what you really need is advice on how to move on (like your title implies). This can be ridiculously hard to do, but the first thing you need to do is something you're really resisting, and that is that you have to leave him COMPLETELY alone for three weeks. Don't contact him, don't look at his Facebook page, avoid mutual friends, don't look at pictures, NOTHING.

After three weeks of this, you'll be much more free of the emotional addiction you obviously have to this guy, and then you can see things more clearly.

[bluesummer]

It's very obvious that you just want to be 'friends' with him so you can try and win him back. I'm sure he knows this too, which is why he's not contacting you.

Sometimes it takes YEARS before you can be okay enough to be friends with an ex. He shouldn't be your rock, you need to be a rock for YOURSELF. People aren't interested in partnering up with someone that NEEDS them so much.

[Drift Queen]

You see i've been doing the exact opposite of that because i have been constantly looking at his social networking page everyday and to be honest it makes it a whole lot worse for me..... i'm really going to try and not look at it anymore because it does me no good! i am going to send that text but that's it if he doesnt reply then i'll no that i have no choice but to move on i suppose ill have to let it go then

[Illusional]

i asked you what do you drive in your introduction thread.

raverboy

[Gigabitch]

i am going to send that text

Don't. Just don't.

[Drift Queen]

I don't see a point anymore he's happy with his girlfriend and he hates me..... what more can i do? nothing but move on life is tough....... or is that tough love? either way i've given up on so called 'love' just gives you nothing but misery in the end!

[Drift Queen]

So anyway the latest update is i went against everyone's advice and i sent my ex that happy birthday text no reply or nothing..... in the end he texted my friend saying what's done is done and that he has moved on and when my friend asked him would he not even be friends with me he said no straight out..... what does he really hold against me? can i ever get him back in my life? as a friend if anything........?

[lastwish]

Do you mean you were "obsessive" as in you were trying to get back with him too often but not doing it the right way? What did you do that made him say that? I think you should have given him an honest and heartfelt explanation and then leave it at that. And also, never demand or ask anything from him (ex: never ask him to break up with his new girlfriend or get back with you). If he accepts your explanation then he will come back and if not then time will eventually heal your heartbreak. And if his new girlfriend is a rebound, then you should wait it out. Expressing jealousy for rebounds will make things worse.

Edit: also, I think you should look deeper into why you were freaking out when he wants you to meet his parents. Is it because you are not ready to be serious with him or what?

[ecojeanne]

oh dear, i feel bad for you, you want him coz he doesn't want you anymore. you can't 'fix' what went wrong. he unfortunately doesn't seem to mind that you have broken up. don't let yourself be treated badly (you are setting yourself up for more rejection if you pursue him) seriously it probably wasn't your fault. ultimately he gave up on you so now you NEED to give up on him. he's not worth it, surely you can see that. everyone gets nervous especially with meeting important people. i can understand his frustration with you BUT if he had really cared about you and the relationship he wouldnt have moved on to someone new so quickly. you're better off never talking to him again coz guaranteed if he ever was to go back with you he would treat you like a back up girl. he doesn't care enough and you deserve more right?

[Drift Queen]

Yeah i do know what your saying when you say he probably didn't even really care about me cause if he did actually love me there would be no way he would be able to move on that quickly...... i'm starting to think that she isnt a rebound either as 4 months on and there still together it really annoys me the way that i did everything for him i was always there for him etc and this is the thanks i get while i'm miserable all the time he's out there with his new 'play toy' having the time of his life! it really isnt fair.... i don't know what to do cause i've tried so hard to move on but it's just so painful he was my world and been honest he still is i just miss having him in my life basically i'm driving myself insane and i really don't think it helping my state of mind either....

[Lite]

Sounds like you need to just build a bridge and get over him.

Hell, my ex girlfriend from 10+ years ago just tried to chat me up not too long ago and be friendly. I just responded with, "What do you want from me?" and she went away.

I'm sorry. You need to respect his wishes if he doesn't want to be friends with you.

[Lite]

As for you being miserable and he not. There is no hard and fast rule on how long someone has to grieve and/or miss you. Get over it, get over him, man the **** up, and move on with your life.

[yuanyang317]

although i dont know what happened between you and your ex-bf,but i can understand your feeling about that, i know how painful and confused if the one you loved ditch you, but you still loved him/her, still miss him/her, i undertand that,absolutely understand,i have the same feeling with you, i had been with my ex-girl friend for 3 years before she broke up with me, 3 years, i really thought that i can spend my rest of life with her,i cant accept the fact at the beginning,but she ditches me without any hesitance, can you imagine that how sad i was then? i even beg her to get back to my side, does that work? NO,not at all, a person who dont love you any more will never come bcak again,no matter how love you she/he was ,no matter how sweet she/he was,no matter how kind she/he treated you before, changed is changed,she/he is not the one you loved before any more, so i can tell you that let him go ,it's good for him,also for you,time heals everything, go to find the one who love you more than you love him,so that you will find your happiness,good luck...

[Drift Queen]

Yeah i know what yous are all trying to say and i know your all right cause if i'm honest even if he did forgive me and decided to be friends with me i don't think that it could ever work cause i would always be living in hope that maybe he might realise that he misses me etc i keep saying to myself ok so at the start of may, i'm going to move on but then the start of may comes and here i am still texting him trying to get him back in my life does anyone have any tips on how to do this? i've never been in a relationship before so i don't know if i'm actually going insane or is this what it's like after a break up? Been honest if it is then it would put me off letting me fall for anyone else again i think that was my biggest problem when it comes to my ex i relied on him to much and that let me fall for him even more..... i guess in the end he only told me what i wanted to hear etc

[yuanyang317]

why you texted him? why you expect him to come back? he doesnt worth you do like this, i know you are sad, but sadness doesnt make any sense, you shouldnt have any hope of him, remember that the hope is bigger,the disappoint is bigger, you should be stronger,delete his telephone number,forget him,be a stranger for him, never gonna contact him. i know it's not easy,just do it. keep the all the past happy memory in your deep heart,in your mind, remember that he is nothing to do with you now~~dont expect to be friends with him,that only hurt you.then start your new life~~and learn to get used to the lonely life~~you have to ...