Is this something to worry about?

[dustysgirl]

Hello, I like to get some opinions about what is going on in my relationship. (Sometimes it helps to hear thoughts from someone on the outside.)
I'm 30 years old and have been involved with "Fred" for almost a year. We live together and also own a business. All in all, we have a great relationship with a few bumps in the road. Of, course that's to be expected.

The issue that has been bothering me is involving his best friend, "Amy". "Amy" and "Fred" have been the BEST of friends for about 15 years. They lived together at one time, talk, text, and email. They tell each other that they love them and share everything. She lives in KY and us in OH.

No big deal, right? Here is the problem,,, He has told me that he had a "thing" for her for quite a while, but that's gone. He kept her a secret from me, for a while, when we first became serious. (He didn't tell her about me either.) I meet her one time (for a total of 10 mins.) and got the cold shoulder from her. She was to busy hugging him and telling him how much she misses him. The other night, him and I went out. (We never get time!) He had to much to drink and brought up how hot "Amy" is. He also has told me that he needs someone to talk to when we have disagreements. BUT,,,,, HE FEELS UNCOMFORTABLE TALKING TO "Amy" ABOUT US. What the heck is that??? Don't get me wrong, everyone needs people to talk to and spend some time with. I feel having your own friends, and your own hobbies, help make it all complete. Along with sharing things, like friends and interests.

If they are such close friends, wouldn't you think she'd try and get to know me? Or am I wrong here? Say "hi" to me when their on the phone and I'm there, maybe ask him how I am? Anything. I did make a few gestures to her suggesting we should get together and wanting to get to know her. However, she just acts like I'm not there. At least that's the feeling I get. She has known about me for over 6 months now.

I think the main reason this bothers me is that I don't like the thought of another woman viewing him in smiler ways that I do. I don't think it's jealousy (I could be wrong!) He has other close female friends that he sees all the time and are much better looking then "Amy". I don't know them other then a "hi" here and there. His friendship with them don't bother me at all.

Ugh......... Well that's it, in a nut shell. Thanks in advance for anything you can offer.

[Gigabitch]

I think you're the third wheel, here. Their friendship goes way beyond friendship.

[alovehangoverr]

I think you're the third wheel, here. Their friendship goes way beyond friendship.

Agreed.

She's not required to be your friend just because she's your boyfriends friend.. however, if they're that close I would agree she may want to get to know you on some level.

As for their "friendship?" Yeah. That's not a friendship. He used to have a thing for her, gets drunk and says how hot she is, how he doesn't discuss your relationship with her [hmmm, gee, wonder why] is just out of line. Her cold shoulder, ignoring you're there, etc.. just sort of gives off the vibe that she feels the same as him.

I've always thought that you can't have a legitimate friendship with someone if either side is wanting more. That's likely the case here.

Have you ever talked to your boyfriend about this? Maybe mentioned to him that his friendship with her seems a bit inappropriate?

Idk about you, but I probably would have lost it on him having to hear how attractive he thought she was.