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Thread: troubles

  1. #1
    Join Date
    Apr 2009
    Posts
    2

    troubles

    Hey all, I'm really having a tough time in my relationship, and was looking to get some advice (obviously)

    firs a little bit about me.

    I'm 21 i'm currenty deloyed in iraq, and almost home, i've been here for a year already.

    About two years ago, i met my Fiance, at the time she was dating a common acquaintance. We talked online for a bit after meeting eachother, and after she broke up with her ex(not for me specifically) we went on a few dates and then made it official that we were boyfriend and girlfriend. Things weren't extremely serious at the time . I ended up going to Boot camp, we kept in contact via letters, and things were alright, a little drama here and there but everything was ok. After Bootcamp,we are still going out, and I find out that i'm being deployed within the month. I get here. and things just kind of go awry a bit. We get into some subtle arguements. She's hanging out with friends who are doing coke and smoking pot, which is a definate no for me. I tell her this upsets me, about a week later she stops hanging out with them. I get kind of an instinctive feeling that she hasn't been truthful with me. During this time she sent me a private picture of herself. I checked her email, and as it turns out she sent it to another guy as well. I cofront her about it and she denys it to the fullest, saying her friend was on her computer and she must have sent it. I can't seem to believe her on this one. after the drama with all of that. we patch things up somewhat, even though she never did admit to it. the email said that she basically went to a club and danced full nude, and handed out pictures. She never said which club.

    speed up to a few weeks later. she moves to a different part of the state, and we keep the lovey-dovey contact and all that. Things don't work out with the people she moved in with, and she moves back in with her parents. eventually things don't work out there either and she moves to another state. The two days before she moves, a valuable item from my parents house goes missing, and they notice it right after she leaves. At this point she moves away. We are still in contact even though there is all this drama, and we fight quite often. things have calmed down quite a bit, i go home on leave, and we get engaged, athough things aren't going as smooth as i'd like them to be. She gets drunk and text messages a male friend after we get into an arguement, and says "oh well i wanted to see you anyway." I go out for the day to visit family, and I come back, and when we have sex that night, it felt like I wasn't the only one in there, I stop having sex with her and just goto bed. She denys anything ever happened and that there has never been any infidelity on her part. (i've never cheated on anyone) As time goes on i go back here. She is living in the other state there is all the constant love talking and all of that. SHe hasn't done anything to hurt me in quite awhile, but I can't get through the painful emotions of the past. She wants to move in with me when we get back, and get married. I don't know what to do.

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Nov 2008
    Gender
    Male
    Location
    Boise, Idaho (huge town USA)
    Posts
    1,392
    Quote Originally Posted by Warzone View Post
    SHe hasn't done anything to hurt me in quite awhile, but I can't get through the painful emotions of the past.
    Stop right here, and read this, over and over and over until it sinks in.

    You're being played dude, she did send those pictures and she did sleep with her male friend. She doesn't care about you to the same level you care about her. You have reason to believe that she took something of value from your parents. Sometimes timing is timing and it makes people look bad, not THREE different times.

    Don't marry this tramp, you deserve better than this. Let me guess, when you get into an argument she always makes you look like the bad guy?

    Your setting yourself up for a short marriage followed by a nasty divorce if you're dumb enough to say "I do" to this train wreck of a girl.

    You deserve to feel what its like to have someone truly care about you, this girl sure isn't the one. I think you know what you need to do.

    "What you really fear is inside yourself. You fear your own power.
    You fear your own anger, the drive to do great and terrible things."


    The Warmonger

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