She asked me out to lunch, so who pays?

[NeedsAdvice]

There is this girl. We have been talking for a while. We've been texting each other back and forth. With most often her texting me first and on random things. I can only assume that she is interested in me and I am as well. So recently, she beat me to it. She asked me to go out to lunch with her. I accepted. But my question is, who pays? When the bill arrives, do I insist on paying or do we split the bill? If the lunch goes well, I plan on asking her out sometime later. Any advice? Thanks in advance.

[12many]

Only insists if you're willing to pay w/e the cost maybe.

She would pay because she asked you.

I grew up where guys would pay all the time, and thats how i was brought up so that means i would pay (azn style).

[debris]

Offer to pay even though she asked you out, she'll probably say no, but seeing you take the initiative is what shines.

[vashti]

In my little world, whoever does the inviting should pay, but in reality, you will probably end up splitting the cost. You will make a lot of extra points if you offer to pay her share, but I don't think it is appropriate for her to expect that.

[doppelgaenger]

Don't worry about it until the bill comes to the table. Bring money in case.

[tinyow]

i think you should insist on paying the bills,
anyway you are also interested with her...^.^

[hohol]

it's not really a big deal let's proceed by cases:
if she chooses a really expensive place then we share
if not i will probably pay (even if it means insisting )
i think it's logical

[lastwish]

err. I'm female and I never had to paid for a guy when I'm on a date. But thats just me. It's just lunch so each of you can afford paying for yourselves anyways.

[vashti]

err. I'm female and I never had to paid for a guy when I'm on a date.

I haven't either, but then again, I've never asked one out. If you asked a guy out, would you seriously expect him to pay?

[lastwish]

I haven't either, but then again, I've never asked one out. If you asked a guy out, would you seriously expect him to pay?

I wouldn't expect a guy to pay even if he asked me. To expect other people to pay you lunch is just cheap. I think its best if both people pay for themselves or split the bill. But if one of them do happen to pay, I would expect the guy to do so, never a girl. A couple of times when I go out to eat or something with a guy and I take out my cash to pay, the cashier wouldn't even accept my money!LOL. And the guy end up getting embarrassed when I offer to pay.

[vashti]

But if one of them do happen to pay, I would expect the guy to do so, never a girl.

Never? What if it's his birthday, and you invited him out?

[lastwish]

Never? What if it's his birthday, and you invited him out?

Well, of course you pay for birthdays. The birthday guy or girl shouldn't worried about stuff like that. I was talking about non special occasions.

[12many]

i paid on my bday....

[IndiReloaded]

Who asks for the date, should pay. Its not wrong to offer to pay your share, tho, nor to have them take you up on it.

The reason the asker should pay is b/c someone may feel obligated to accept the invitation but may not have the money to pay. There are various scenarios for this, not just dating.

Its even more obvious why when you consider being asked to lunch by someone who is your senior (e.g. professor, employer, senior relative). In that case, you should not even offer to pay (they could be offended) just thank them for the meal. How awkward would it be for your boss to take you to some shi-shi place for lunch & then expect you to cough up a portion. The only time this might be okay is if you decided, as a group, to go out. In which case one normally gets separate cheques.

[lesa]

IndiReloaded broke it down LOL. It's common sense in my opinion. And you can offend your date or even boss for paying. If I am treated I only pay for the tip. If it was a group thing then I pay my half. I went to dinner with the department head and you do NOT pay. You would embarrass yourself if you did (I did not ). My ex went to lunch with the boss and again you do NOT pay.

Don't worry about this paying thing because she is a girl. She asked you out so she pays. Just cover the tip.

EDIT: In the dating world sometimes the female will pay to purposely offend the male and is a sign she does not want another date. That's the old way so don't take that as 100% true...but I would wonder hehe.